Forum Thread

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Final Word Count: 14,126

Warnings for: Implied/Referenced Depression, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Some Dark Humour, Death, and Dark Imagery.

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The Circus is Coming to Town

A surreal love story.

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“We welcome you, Sun, to the Realm of Aden.”

The light pierced through her eyelids. She brought up a hand to shield her eyes as she opened them, squinting through her fingers.

“Sun?” Kaya wondered aloud.

She could just barely make out the figure, black wings fluttering against the glowing light of the sky. They were all black. Cloaked, perhaps. As they moved, the rattling of bones hit the air and made her shudder.

“That is your title, Life. You are the light which heals, the entity which saves, and the one who loves absolutely. You are the-”

“Yeah yeah,” Kaya mumbled. “Could you turn off the lights please? This whole godly-aura thing hurts like hell on the eyes.”

“There is no hell or heaven here. Nor gods. Those conceptions of mortals should hold no place in your heart, or your making.” She got the sense the creature was rolling its eyes at her, but the light dimmed regardless. “One day you will learn to overcome these mortal weaknesses, when all that is flawed has been bled away.”

“Okay, one, that’s creepy.” Kaya pulled back her hands, now only barely able to make out the figure. She did her best to level it with an unimpressed stare that hopefully conveyed her feelings about this... situation. “Two- if you’ve kidnapped me, I feel the need to warn you that I can pull out those feathers of yours, one at a time. And three- I bite.”

She grinned widely, showing it said teeth.

The thing croaked, a long and drawn sound of bone dragging over bone. Holy guacamole, is it dying? Finally, the gaping maw slid shut and the noise cut off. It took her a moment to realise that the thing had been laughing.

“Kidnapped,” it mused. “This incarnation has humour. It would be good to remember that.”

“Incarnation?” She blinked, bewildered.

“Yes, you,” it said simply. “Lift your head.”

She glared the creature down. “If you wanted me to do a modeling job, I can’t say the way you went about it is too convincing. How about you send me home and get in touch through the agency? Just ask for the gal you kidnapped and they’ll get me on the line. Quick hint- the number’s ‘911’.”

The creature did another of its horrible laughs. The grating sound made her skin itch. “Ah, spirit. Always good to have in the personification of life. If your love is as deep as the sharpness of your tongue, you will do well at this job.”

“Woah, woah, woah, backtrack a little there. Personification of life? And don't get me started on that love thing. Moving a little fast there, bucko. No offense, but you are not my type. Let's be real, most kidnappers aren't." She paused. "So... mind explaining a little bit? If this is some weird attempt at a date, you're getting dumped man."

Despite the sarcasm rolling off her tongue, Kaya’s mind was awhirl. So many different thoughts spinning through her head... she wondered if she needed to sit down. But either way, she definitely knew this guy needed a serious reality check, and possibly a stay in a nice padded room. Far away from her.

“What do you call yourself?” it asked in a mild tone, as if it were asking about the weather.

She debated stranger danger and sharing her name with a clearly unstable individual, but to heck with it. If this would get her some answers, and possibly a means of leverage then she might as well. “Kaya Aden. I’m guessing you weren’t looking for a particular victim, then?” Then another thought occurred to her. “You called this the Realm of Aden. You already know my name.”

It didn’t laugh this time, though she got the sense it was smiling beneath its cloak. “Of course I’m aware of what last name you would pick. After all, it is mine as well.”

Hot dang. Was this an “I am your father” moment? She considered the malshaped creature in front of her. Clearly, the hot genes skipped a generation.

She offered it a smile. “No offense sweetcheeks, but I was born with the name Aden. I don’t know what you’re going on about with me ‘picking’ my name or whatever. If I’d had a choice, I would’ve picked something a lot less basic. Aden. God.” She wrinkled her nose to exaggerate her feelings about the blandest name on the planet.

“Ah, but that is assuming whether or not you had a birthplace. Tell me, Sun- what do you recall of this life before? Of your agency and the people of the 911 who will come to arrest me?”

Kaya opened her mouth to tell the voice it was full of bull- and faltered.

Some horrible, keening suspicion was rattling around in her brain, and deep down in her, somehow, hadn’t she known this creature from the beginning? Wasn’t something deep inside her ringing wrong, a dissonant note, a mismatched thread, false-

Inhuman, she realised.

“You didn’t question my appearance, did you? Of course you didn't. I may be far from human, but you are automatically wired to not be fearful of me. No, my dear, I’m afraid it’s hard to be afraid of your own family.”

“Family?”

“Family… no. That is not the word. Perhaps species would be more akin? We are of the same marrow, the same meaning, the same purpose. To service the circle of life.”

She looked down at herself… soft skin, light in tone. Undeniably human, she even felt it with her hands. They were normal, too. Medium-length redd-ish hair, carrying that rough spark of fiery determination. That… felt human, too. At least she thought so. It was soft, silky, like velvet.

Her nose, small and button-shaped. Her lips were rough and smooth, slim and thick, a vast contradiction, as they were. Exactly where they were supposed to be upon her face. Hard, solid fingernails that she brushed with the tips of her fingers. Fuzzy, brittle eyebrows, that she could raise and lower as she pleased.

Her eyes could see and her heart could beat. Her ears could hear, her nose could smell, her hands could touch! How- how could she be some- eldritch abomination?! She was human, screw what the thing said.

“I refuse to believe the- whatever crazy you’re on. I’m human and always have been and I sureI don’t need this gaslighting or this bull or whatever you’re trying to sell me.” She released a shaking breath and forced her shoulders to stop shaking. “Your grim reaper cosplay’s funny, okay? I don’t care, because I’m laughing at you and your ugly costume.”

Stupid. Weak. She hated herself all the more for the garbage coming out of her mouth.

Amusement radiated off of it. It didn’t seem bothered in the least by her insulting its stupid emo outfit. “I suppose I should be offended.”

She huffed, and crossed her arms. Tightly. She squeezed tighter and found it difficult to breathe. Undeniably. Human. She had lungs and arms and she could control them however she pleased. “Oh, so you think this is funny? Okay, fine then! Greeeat prank! You’re hilarious! Wanna drop the facade now?”

“...So it’s a joke then?”

“Yeah?” she snorted. “What else is it s’posed t-”

She stopped. The thing flared up furiously, its raspy, bony face nearly upon her, with those cold, dark eyes, and that animalistic, ferocious snarl.

“AH! H-Hey, I…”

“You fool. You complete and utter fool. Whoever you thought you were before, she’s not real. That is nothing.. You are Sun. You are Life. And if you keep holding onto your ignorant misconceptions about yourself, and who you are… you’ll fail. And believe me when I say that you will want to get this right.”

“My name,” she whispered. “Is Kaya Aden. I like strawberries and summertime and…”

Her freckles. How had she gotten her freckles?

I don’t know, she realised.

Why didn’t she know?

“I…” She tried to deny it, but something in that penetrating, narrowing gaze told her she was wrong, even before she voiced the thought. She was so, so wrong.

She didn’t like strawberries. She hadn’t ever eaten one. She’d never touched the sun before, because she was the Sun to begin with.

Reality had never existed to begin with.

“I understand,” she said, her mouth suddenly dry, as awareness came in.

It watched her for a moment. The faint light caught the black, black eyes within the depths of the cloak and reflected them back. For a moment, they were the eyes of a predator, glinting in the darkness, searching for a weakness before it pounced. Coordinating its attack.

Then, it smiled and laughed again. Horridly. The sound dragged on for a minute, grating on her nerves.

It came to a halt. “Very well, little Sun. If you can bite your tongue, then you have surpassed the last one.” Raising one bony finger, it pointed at her. “You can live, for as long as you can maintain this mask. Surprise me. Surpass expectations.”

The numbness spread over her whole body. The monster seemed to sense this and the sound of bones dragging over bones in a long, drawn out cackle hit the air.

“Then,” it said, composing itself once more. “I have only one more request of you.”

Her throat closed up. Her vision narrowed in on the figure.

“You must love them. Every human, the martyr and the killer. That is how you must fulfill your role, dear Aden, as the personification of life.”

The words didn’t seem to hit her at first. Death threats, and then… love? She had to love people? Well, that didn’t seem too hard. Maybe this monster was going easy on her. Or maybe it was a trick question again. Who the heck knew.

“I can do that.”

“Love them, Sun. Be compassionate. Fight for love, as it will be your life.” The creature smiled at its pun. “I enjoyed our meeting today. Perhaps one day you will work at my side. It would certainly be a source of entertainment.”

The creature vanished.

From here on out… I’m Sun, I guess.

—

“Crow. You must hate them all. Those you want to love and those you want to hate. Else you meet the fate of your predecessor.”

“So like… humans? No problem there, no sir. You’ve picked the right gal for the job. Heck, I’ll crack a joke. Car crash? Oh, truck! What a wheel awful way to go! Cancer? Well, least you’ve got some GROWTH happening there!”

“Hm. How cold.”

“That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“You would be correct. That is the right attitude for the personification of death.” A pause. “Perhaps hold back on the cancer puns.”

“Haha, sure. Whatever floats your boat.”

—

The years passed by. Slowly, the old name faded to memory, and she kept it there. Countless lives within the town moved about. The old watchmaker retired, though she could remember him chasing after the ice cream truck at fifteen. Days bled into moments, seasons became but the flutter of an insect’s wing.

She could remember the days of her old life. Faintly, though, very faintly. No matter how hard Sun pushed them down, Kaya seemed to be coming back. She had to remind herself. Those thoughts of a tender hand brushing against hers, walking her to school every day, when she was too young to go on her own. A reassuring smile on her mother’s face, countering her nervous one.

And forever, she shook it away. She couldn’t think of that. This was who she was, this was who she always would be.

It felt so strange, so very alien. Telling herself she was not, in fact, the name so deeply engraved in her core being. That was the truth, though, was it not? She really had to get over her previous misconceptions. Sun couldn’t let the false identity of… that name, whoever she was, interfere in her duties. The mantra had been going for hundreds of years and so help her god, she’d keep it going.

–

“You’ve ruined my life,” he breathed.

Clarity came to those on their deathbed. They could see gods and divinity and order and everything in between. The first time a dying person had spoken to her, it’d come as a shock. But by now it just made her numb.

The man’s twisted old face bared in a snarl. “...Hate you. You should be the one dying. … worthless.. trash. Couldn’t even send a man…” His eyes closed for a moment and then they shot open and he glared at her. “Worthless HR, even in heaven. Lazy… workers.”

You are the Sun. You are Sun. You love everyone.

So she held her tongue. She held back any thoughts of anger, any thoughts of rebellion. No matter how unbearable the insult.

Sun stared down at the man. He was rich, far more than anyone had a right to be. Killer of his wife and children, but with the money to cut the investigation.

She looked at him and loved him. He had a beautiful smile, an old man’s smile, dentures complete as he faded on his deathbed.

Then his eyes closed. She waited a minute, but they didn’t reopen again.

Just like after every death, her connection severed. It was time to go, find another person to cling to. But she couldn’t help but take the moment to study what the old man had on his bedside table. It was a picture of his family, the people he killed.

A smiling, red-faced woman and a beaming daughter. They looked so similar, except for the daughter’s dark, dark eyes which reflected that of the man who smiled in the photo.

Family. Sun had seen every variation of it. From the dysfunctional to the loving, from the poor to the wealthy. There was no warmth left in her for these already dead people, who’d had the misfortune of attaching themselves to a man not interested in them or their happy smiles and rosy cheeks.

She turned around to leave, ready to find the next person, but came face to face with a girl.

Sun’s heart skipped a beat, but she reminded herself that people could not see her. This girl had undoubtedly come in to check on the old man. When she found him dead, she would report it to the respective authorities and…

“Hey.” The girl smiled at her. “Life, right? Death, at your service.” She offered out her hand.

She gaped at it for a long moment, then turned up to stare at the girl and her grinning face. There was a glint of mischief in those eyes now. It was ugly and evil and…

Love, love… I’ve got to love her, I have to-

“You know I can hear that, right?” The girl laughed. “You can stop trying to put life into me. It ain’t working, sweetheart. Not much there to begin with.”

“Sweetheart?” she echoed numbly.

“Ah, we’re coworkers. Might as well get started on the pet names now, right?”

“You’re Death,” she realized. “The other one.”

For a second, she was hit with a flash of- hate you hate you hate you hate you-

The feeling was overwhelming, consuming everything, swallowing her light, it was killing her, taking her, she was- NO!

Sun stamped down on it with all her might. The thoughts writhed beneath her, screaming and shrieking their anger and blood and death with all their might, but then the neck snapped and the voice was gone. Her head was clear again.

“Oh well,” the girl sighed. “Wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

“Who are you?” Sun demanded. “What did you do to me?”

Death eyed her for a minute, a smile toying at the edges of her lips. “They really did a number on you, didn’t they? Can’t even piece the most basic things together. You know, you really need to read up on human culture. ‘Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.’ Someone said that. Dante, probably.”

That was an insult. For the first time, despite her desperate attempts to stamp it down, her mind rose up and her thoughts became crystal clear. “You’re my enemy. The one who takes everyone I love away from me.”

“Ha.” She snorted. “You loved that piece of trash? Can’t say anybody else did.”

Rage flickered through her. How dare she? Sun raised a hand, prepared to rip the life from this monster, this enemy- then flinched. What was she doing?

I have to love everyone. I have to protect all life.

“God, how can you live in a head like that? If I heard that all day, I’d go crazy.” Death shook her head. “Name’s Toshiko. Call me by my code name, Crow, if ya care about all that business crap.”

“Can’t say I do.” Sun said coldly. She turned on her heel and stormed out of the hospital room.

She heard “Crow” following. “Hey, hey, you can’t just leave a gal alone like that. Who do you think you are?”

Sun let herself phase through the tiles beneath her feet, just as she turned a corner. On the ground floor now, she hurried past a cart and a nurse and left through a pair of glass doors.

Finally. Free. Her duties done for the day.

With a sigh, she turned onto a side street and headed for the park. Strolling down the avenue, she took in the sights of the town with appreciation. Old man Dylan, selling his wares. He smiled and waved at everyone he saw, especially the kids. One girl came up and he handed her a little cloth doll, laughing a bit as she ran back to her mother. The mother walked up to a little bakery and held her daughter’s hand as she bargained for a loaf of bread.

Sun smiled to herself. These were her people. The ones she’d sworn to love and protect. Sometimes, her job seemed impossibly easy. Loving everyone… you just had to shut down a few thoughts sometimes and-

“Whatcha thinking about?”

She whipped on her heel to see Death again leaning against a tree, twirling a scythe in her hands. The blue-haired girl grinned, tilting her head to the side.

“Howdy stranger!” she chirped. “Funny seeing you here! Almost as if you’re following me.” She laughed at her own joke. “Couldn’t get enough of ol’ Toshiko, I take it?”

“No,” Sun sniped back. She spun back around and stormed up the pathway.

The girl followed behind her, chattering her ear off all the while. “That guy was a real piece of work. They’ve been after me to harvest him for-ever. You know, every time I’d skip him for just a few minutes, they’d bring in a defibrillator? Seriously wacked. That old woman down the hall never got that kinda treatment.”

“I suppose she never paid for it.”

“Aha! So you agree! You really feel the injustice of it all! You also want to beat up rich old people.”

Projecting her thoughts with all her might, Sun growled into her mindscape, Sure I agree that he was a huge douchebag. But so are you. So stop. Following. Me.

“Wow.” Death paused. “That was mean, Lifey. Kinda hurt my feelings, if I’m being honest.”

Sun snorted. “You going to leave me alone, then?”

“Nope!” she chirped, not elaborating further.

Rolling her eyes, Sun came to a stop at the top of the hill. From this vantage point, she could see all out over the town. It was beautiful- all those old, towering buildings silhouetted against the sunlight. Black against streams of orange and red and blue.

Despite herself, she felt a smile lift the sides of her mouth.

“Cool place.” With a grunt, Death sat backwards on the park bench, hugging the back of it to her chest, grinning at Sun. “You really must know your way around this joint, huh? How long you been doing it. A hundred years? A thousand?”

“Ninety-nine,” she replied coldly.

The girl whistled. “And what a ripe old age that it! I’m only ninety-eight myself. Turned the day yesterday, matter of fact.” She grinned. “You’re an oldie, aren’t you?”

“Very old.” She smirked back. “Your senior, as matter of fact. Maybe you should give listening to me a shot? Never know what you’ll learn.”

“Eh.” Instead of answering, she shrugged, turning back in the seat, leaning forward with her hands clasped on her knees. “This is a pretty sunset. Maybe I’ll come down here every now and then, hey?”

She opened her mouth to retort-

“I don’t think he’ll ever accept us.”

Sun froze, then reminded herself that humans couldn’t hear them. Carefully, she leaned over the edge and peered at the two figures she could see on the cliff below. They were talking quietly now, but she could still make out what they were saying.

“Dad’s always been like that. He’s traditional, that way.” That was old Dylan’s son, Peter. What was he talking about?

It was Peter, yes, and… Kyle. The resident angry kid. Always yelling. But now that he spoke to Peter, his voice was soft. His stiff, unyielding shoulders were soft and hunched.

“Screw that,” Kyle whispered. “Traditional shmaditional. That doesn’t give him the right to be a freaking bigot, Peter.”

Peter choked out a laugh. Kyle wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

“I just don’t… He’s always asking me about when I’ll get a girlfriend. And he hates your family. Says you live on a…” He flinched. “Oh no… I’m sorry.”

Kyle had gone very stiff. “Don’t worry,” he said quietly. “I’ve heard it all.”

“Kyle, really, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

The two were very quiet for a moment, then Kyle laughed.

“Maybe we’ll run away and join the circus. I could play a clown really well around you. Always making a fool of myself.”

The other boy smiled shyly at him. For once, Sun felt her heart warm of its own volition.

“They’re idiots,” Toshiko said. “There isn’t any circus for them to join. No escape from old man Dylan or the rest of it.” She leaned back in the bench, closing her eyes and humming to herself.

Sun’s eyes snapped to her. “What are you going on about now?” She couldn’t stop the irritation from leeching into her tone.

“Now that’s more like it!” She laughed and Sun internally cursed herself out. “Come on, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it. The world ends at the end of the town. The circus comes through once a year, same people. And they never remember anything.”

“I- I guess I thought that was normal.”

“Normal?” Toshiko’s eyes opened and she turned to look at her. “You have the head of someone who was born in Earth, not this mess. Of course you know it’s not normal. That’s why you’re confused, right now.”

Sun’s head was whirling. “What are you talking about?”

“Go ask the old man. He can tell you.”

Before Sun could even ask who that was, a flurry of wind whipped up, and the first black feather hit the air. They came out of nowhere, hundreds of thousands of them and they all whirled around Toshiko.

They formed a spinning circle around her, and the last thing Sun saw of her was that infuriating grin before all the feathers fell still, and drifted down. When they touched the bench, they vanished, and before long nothing remained.

She… left? Just like that?

Sun gritted her teeth. How infuriating can this girl get? You can’t just leave me on a freaking cliffhanger like that.

Fine then. She would just have to go to another equally frustrating person.

She sighed internally. Family, huh?
—

This was her least favourite part of the Realm of Aden. It was designed to look like an Earth field. Grass as far as the eye could see, twirling dandelions and endless hills going up into an even more endless sky. There were even birds pecking around, and rabbits rustling through the grass.

But when a person looked closer, it began to fall apart. The few clouds weren’t wispy. They were the solid white of the rest of the Realm of Aden. Real clouds emanated out of real skies, puffy and white. These were behind the sky, behind the illusion.

The rabbits hopped in the same circles. They looped every fifteen seconds. Even when she stepped in front of them, they merely took a detour around her foot. She could even give them a good solid kick and it’d phase through. The birds went so far as to ignore her, their patterns not even fazed when she drew near.

It was a false paradise. The house which sat at the crest of the hill wasn’t any better. It was a pristine little cottage, more of a dream and a dollhouse than anything real and practical. The memories of a better place were so strong here, in this fairyland.

It was so unlike the town she had gotten used to servicing. Somehow, that made it all the more lonely.

Making her way up the hill, she noticed that flowers sprouted wherever she stepped. Maybe they loved her because she was the personification of life, or maybe he had just coded some pretty little flower stepping stones. Who knew.

She knocked on the door, trying to ignore the wildflowers which intertwined around her legs.

The door opened, and behind it was a beautiful parlour. The creature sat at the table in the centre, but it wasn’t a creature. It was the back of a human head, with shining hair and solid shoulders and-

The cloak flipped magically upwards and the creature turned gracefully to face her.

“Sun,” it said gruffly.

“Hello,” she said simply, taking a step into the abode. The floor was smooth on her bare feet. Hardwood. How fancy. “I’m afraid I don’t really have a name for you just yet. Any idea how I should address you? O’ Great Lord? Father? Sick freak?”

She got the distinct sense that the creature was amused. “Still as full of spirit as ever, hey, Sun? I thought you’d have learned by now that there’s no point in lashing your sharp tongue at me.”

This isn’t a game.

Fighting to stay calm, she started, “I know that something’s wrong here. I know there’s something you’re not telling me! So spill it.” She stomped her shoe down, and the whole house rattled with the force. Then she tilted her head with an expectant smile. Calmly. Not. Murderously.

It looked at the cracked wood by her feet, then back up. She got the distinct sense it was raising an eyebrow of some sort.

“...alright. Why not? I’ll tell you. It seems you aren’t feeling reasonable today. And if only to get you out of my private sanctuary.” It paused. “Well, little Sun… This place… is all there is.”

“I- excuse me?”

Its smile fixed her in place. She couldn’t move. Could only stare into its empty expression.

“We tried our best, Sun, and we failed. So this little piece is all that’s left. This one little corner, a relic of what humanity once was.”

The creature showed it to her then. An overview of the tiny little town. Zoomed out, to its absolute edge. The rest, a desolate, vast emptiness. Utter darkness. Beyond it, nothing else.

Sun blinked. The revelation… it rang hollow, but true. For once, she had nothing to say.

“That’s why we need you, little Life. To protect, and to serve. Without a protector… well, all we have left would be lost.”

Was that… sorrow in its eyes? Regret?

“You aren’t the first incarnation of Life. I’m sure you’re aware by this point. We’ve had hundreds throughout the decades. Even the ones which went back to the old world.”

“The old world…” she echoed.

“Earth, or whatever concept we have of it now, is no longer in existence. Everything’s dead now, except what remains in our little town… and in our own realm, of course.” It thought for a second. “Aden is a part of the concept of Order. We who work it are in charge of the few mortals who remain… and keeping them ignorant is our duty.”

“Part of the concept?” The words just hit her numbly. They didn’t seem to have any real meaning. She wasn’t really surprised, to be honest. Manipulation and lies just seemed like another day here. Why should they have any qualms about lying to her if their whole universe was predicated upon deception?

“Yes. There are many other realms like this one. Christianity’s realm, for instance. For those who believe in the Christian Afterlife. Fate, for those who believe in fate. In fact there are hundreds of different realms dedicated to the concept of reincarnation, in all its shapes, forms, and sizes. For centuries, humans have tried to create order out of the least orderly thing in the universe- life. And so they created us. We may be meant to influence them, but in the end, their beliefs are the entire predicate for what we are.”

“Well,” she managed to say. “That’s a major lore dump.”

It actually laughed at that. A… surprisingly human-sounding laugh. “Is it too late to tell you about Chaos, then?”

“Chaos? Is that another realm, or is it just some stupid name for a cat?”

“Funny you should say that.” Its eyes twinkled behind the veil of shadow. “Their court is suspiciously feline-shaped, matter of fact. A black shape. Some weird ‘evil-aesthetic’ they’ve got going on there.”

“Are they evil?”

Quiet fell over the room.

“Chaos doesn’t have departments, like Order,” it said instead. “Just demons.”

Oh. Oh dear. Well, I’m no believer, but that seems like a good way to say “don’t.”.

For a moment, the two just stared at each other. Clock endlessly ticked by on the clock. When she looked too close, the hands began blurring together, and the numbers glitching between tens and twos, until she had to wrinkle her nose and look away.

So. Answers. That’d happened. She’d got answers for all of those stupid questions that the blue-haired girl had rattled on about and…

A thought occurred to her.

“Does Death belong to Chaos?”

“Hardly.” It scoffed. “Death belongs to Aden. It is one of us. However in contrast you two may be, it is a belonging of Order. So you will not be allowed to destroy it, unless of course you choose to pull some ridiculous ‘joining-Chaos’ traitor thing. Which, I will point out, you are also not allowed to do.”

Hmm. To join the side of evil or not to join the side of evil? What a tempting question It has raised.

“You can stop calling me ‘it’, by the way. I’m a they/them or a he/him. Take your pick.”

What. “You can hear that?”

“Your thoughts are pretty loud. It’d be harder not to.”

“Well,” Sun said abruptly. “Thanks for answering my questions. Appreciate your time.” Senile old man, she added in her head.

“Any time,” he drawled, black eyes glimmering with amusement.

The world around her blinked. The whole cottage began fading, black encroaching in on her vision. She cursed, swaying as things distorted, as a buzzing rang in her ears and-

She was staring into her wall.

“Stupid old man!” she huffed. She kicked that perfect cream expanse, hearing the echo of his laugh in her mind. “I’ll rip you apart! Pluck out each and every one of your ugly feathers and pin your bones to the wall! You unassembled dinosaur carcass! You fossilised piece of-”

“I take it you’re mad then.”

“You bet I’m mad,” she seethed. “When he was born, his mom told them to put him back in. His favourite part of the trail mix is the raisins. He looks like if a muppet had a love affair with a LAYS CHIP!”

She paused. Wait.

“Chizu?”

“In the flesh.”

Ah, right. Her roommate.

Ever since she’d been assigned to the Realm of Aden and whatever duties “Life” got smacked with, Sun had been introduced to person after person, each vying for some position of authority. Sun, of course, wasn’t very high up on the totem pole. For respect, at least. She had just been assigned the task- there wasn’t much earning happening. But for some reason, everyone seemed determined to make friends with her, while finding every reason to deride the new person.

It infuriated her off so much that she had stormed into some random dorm and kidnapped this poor, whimpering Chizu straight out of it. And they’d been roommates ever since.

She wasn’t too bad, all things considered. Half decent roommate, actually. She cleaned up her stuff, kept her head down, and offered advice when you wanted to vent.

Right now would be great actually.

Sun stormed over to her bed, flung herself on it, and screamed into her pillow.

“That bad, huh,” Chizu said sympathetically.

Slowly, she raised her tired head from her pillow, staring miserably at Chizu.

“This… this whole situation, Chizu.” She gestured awkwardly with her hands, trying to say something. Anything. The words just wouldn’t roll off her tongue. “I’m just expected to go along with all these… duties and crap. And to…” She grimaced. “Just… love freaking everybody? Even that girl?”

She paused.

“I…”

A sudden touch, a hand on her shoulder. She turned, and there was a sweet smile there to greet her.

“It’s okay, Life,” Chizu said. “It’s natural to hate Death. Humans do. Just look at their literature.”

“But… I’m not supposed to. They told me… I’m supposed to love everyone.” Sun shook her head. “And she… makes it so hard for me to love her.”

“So, why fight it, then?” Chizu threw her arm up and out dismissively. “Forget about all those rules! Would it really be so wrong for you to just… feel how you really feel?”

Sun picked up her pillow, hugging it closely to her chest. Her eyelids fluttered narrower, sleepily, almost. She stared into the fabric, in silence, for a few minutes. “Well… maybe not. I mean, things are pretty screwed already, right? Couldn’t make it that much worse.”

“See?” Chizu smiled. “Now, don’t you feel better?”

—

More dead. It was a car crash. A family. This was easier to love. Sun watched the light fade out of their eyes, all of their dreams coming to a close.They had all been a unit, built on so much care. All those hopes of seeing their children grow up, and start their own lives…

She’d known them. She’d loved them. Sun could only hope they were at peace now.

“Heyyy, if it isn’t Ms. Stiff-And-Uptight!”

…but naturally, where death went, that girl followed. She wasn’t even sure why she was surprised by now.

“You.”

“Ohhh, what a response! All deep and raspy and ohh, I love it. Didja miss me, Angel? I bet you did.”

“Oh, hell n-.”

She paused.

“Hmph. Of course I did, why wouldn’t I? We work for the same place, don’t we? Allies.” She forced the word out with a smile.

“Of course I did,” Death mimicked. “So sweet, Lifey. Hehe…” She thought for a second. “‘Lifey’ doesn’t quite work. Doesn’t have the right kind of mockery. Life-kins? Life-brows? That mocks your eyebrows.”

“For god’s sake, it’s Sun,” she snapped. “And what are you on about? What’s wrong with my brows?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Death grinned, and her face seemed to light up. “Hey, now I’ve finally have something to call ya! Sun, eh?” She chuckled. “How’s Sunny-D sound for a nickname?”

Sun glared at her. “I. Love. It.”

Death smirked, hand cradling her cheek as she tilted her head cutely. “Jeeeez. So you do love me, after all! And all it took was a little bit of bullying.” The idiot looked down at the crash. “Wow. They’re really stupid, aren’t they? They seriously didn’t see that coming?”

Sun was hot with indignation, though also frazzled. “Just what are you implying?”

“Ohhh, nothing. It’s just… do you really think this was an accident? Are you that naive?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “You don’t mean…”

She cackled, tapping Life on the nose with her index finger. “Juuuust kidding! It was an accident!” She ran her finger along the bridge of Sun’s nose. “But, oh, it almost wasn’t. That kid came so close. Sooo close to taking the life of his own father. ‘Cause he didn’t accept him and his little boyfriend.”

A crowd formed all around. Cars screeched to a stop, phone buttons were tapped, frantically dialing. Some had their hands clutched together, almost in prayer. Teeth were gritted. Tears fell to the ground.

“Oh god! Oh my god.”

“Is he…”

“Someone call the police. S-Someone!”

“Yes? Hello… there’s been an… incident. The brakes might have been cut…”

The brakes… her chest tightened, and suddenly, she realised Death was beside her and-

“You! You did this!” Sun whipped on Death.

But Death was still staring down at the corpses. There was an oddly sad glint in her eyes as she picked up her scythe… and instead of slashing apart their souls, lay it down beside them. From the side, there was something a little more human about her profile. Her little nose was crooked, and her eyebrows furrowed. The light caught her black, black eyes and they glimmered in the dying orange glow.

Then she glanced at Sun and smiled. “See ya next time.”

The feathers whipped up and in a flash, she was gone, leaving Sun by the corpses… and with a strange ache in her own chest.

—

“This will be your hundredth birthday, Sun.”

The thing still smiled at her. Sun hated them. Why couldn’t they show their face?

“You know, if you’re trying to build camaraderie, you could do me the basic courtesy of showing your face. Make it a birthday present, hm, precious?” Sun mocked them with a grin. “Pretty please?”

“Ah, but I’ve got something better for you. The higher ups do, anyway. I’m not obligated to give presents.” They laughed their stupid ugly laugh again. She knew by now the sounds were intentional and meant to freak her out, and because of that, it lost the fear-factor. “You’re interested in answers, right? Well, there’s a place that ‘Lifes go after a hundred years. A place where their previous incarnations exist.”

She tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t stop a momentary flicker of surprise on her face. Clearly they picked up on that, because they started laughing again.

“Oh, shut up,” she snapped, feeling her face heat up. “One of these days I’ll have a bombshell to hit you with.”

“I’m sure you will. So- you interested or what?”

She clicked her tongue, her lips feeling strangely dry. Sun put her hands on her hips, with an eventual sigh of defeat.

“Sure. I guess. Why not?”

Anything to get out of this place for a little while…

“Very well, then. Right this way.”

Sun was led into a dark and foreboding cave, where she had no idea what might await her on the other side. She couldn’t help thinking how cliche this was. So ritual-like.

It was enormous. Rocks jutted up and down from the ground and roof like teeth, of the snarling, bared, angry type. Shadows flickered across the walls in tune with the flickering of the torches which hung there. As she moved, she dislodged a spray of pebbles which clattered into a side tunnel and kept going.

Huh.

He cleared his throat. “Stay down here. Spend some time, wait a minute. They’ll get back to you.”

“Hey, wait a minute-” She whipped on her heel but he was already gone. Grumbling, she walked over to the wall, taking up station leaning against it.

Time ticked by. She began drawing patterns in the dirt with her toes.

A demon cat.

Some jewel thingy.

This random bridge which lurked in her head for whatever reason. She was just working out a figure standing at the end when someone cleared their throat.

Sun jumped and looked around, but saw nothing. Hm. Well. Might as well try, even if I’m talking to myself. Beats… whatever this is.

For a second, she wished Death was here. The room wouldn’t feel so lonely and empty with her obnoxious quips and cackling. But that was stupid.

We’d probably just fight again.

Clearing her throat, Kaya began, “Hey, so uh– they said you’re like, the past incarnation of the person who did my awful job? I dunno, thought I’d come see y-”

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing? Life and Death…”

She blinked. Um. What.

“It’s unnatural. It goes against Order itself!”

A hiss of assent rose up around the room. One by one, blue glowing trails began to rise up into the air and morph into spirits. Their faces flickered like firelight- there one second, gone the next. She saw men, women, and people somewhere between. She even saw a child with white hair who she recognised before it blinked back into an angry snarl.

“An abomination!” one declared.

“A betrayal of Aden’s mercy!” cried another.

“NOT ALLOWED!” they chanted in unison.

Okay. Well, slightly terrifying. Sun took a step back, and then suddenly, her head was exploding with images.

Death ripped Sun apart, pupils so wide they melted into the blackness of her eyes.

Death plunged her scythe into Sun’s chest and, jamming a boot into her shoulder, pulled out her heart, sinking her teeth into it a second later. It squished and exploded across Sun’s vision.

Death set her alight, laughing the whole way, blue hair blowing in the breeze. The flesh peeled off her bones and the bones charred to ash and she felt every excruciating moment of it.

Blood, blood, blood, Death, Death, Death.

Sun collapsed to her knees, eyes wide. Her lips and jaw flapped open and shut, like that of a blubbering fish. She stared straight ahead, breathing harshly, incomprehensibly, reaching her hands up to clutch the sides of her head. Fingernails digging in deeper, deeper still.

Oh god. Oh no. NO. Ohnoohnoohnoohno- that can’t happen. That can’t happen! It’snotit’snotit’snot-

“Sunny-D? What’re you doing down here?”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Sun was screaming. Tears were streaming down her face.

Someone was in front of her now, kneeling, taking her hands in theirs. Their eyes were soft and sad, and they were whispering to her now.

“Sun, it’s alright! ‘Kay? Just… take deep breaths, take it easy. It’s going to be okay. Whatever you saw in there, it’s fine, Sun. ”

“D-D-Don’t CALL ME THAT!” She slapped her hand away, rasping, gasping. It was like she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs. Tightening. Throat. Tightening. Clutching, digging, can’t think, won’t think. Oh god she’s here oh GOD-

“Hey! It’s okay! It’s not going to happen, alright? It’s…”

She couldn’t breathe. She could barely force the words out of her mouth. “..please… call me Kaya. Please. Please.” It was all in ruins. Gone. Gone. Why couldn’t it just be simple? Why couldn’t it just be easy?

“Alright. Kaya… it’s gonna be okay, alright? Here. I’ll show you around.”

The someone took her by the hand and they led her around. They helped her feel along the walls. They showed her a fabric. Just run your hand over it, Kaya. Doesn’t that feel so nice? It’s velvet. They showed her a book by their bed. I’ll lend it to you sometime, hey? Then they showed her a math book and guided her through the problems. There you go! You’re getting it.

With each thing, the anger and terror and pain bled out of Kaya. She boxed in the answer and moved on to the next child’s math problem. 24 x 3… She started to multiply, and then hesitated, pen hovering over the page.

“It’s okay,” Death encouraged. “Go on.” She smiled at her.

Kaya looked back down at the problem… then shook her head and put it to the side.

“Do you live here?” she asked. Her voice was rough, raw.

But Death didn’t seem to mind. “Yeah. It’s where all the dead souls exist… even for people like us. I guess they need me to supervise.”

“Isn’t that scary? Don’t they blame you for like… dying?”

“Some do.” Death shrugged. “You get used to it after a while.” She grinned. “But you know me! Putting the ‘fun’ in funeral all day every day!”

Kaya laughed a little, her voice still wobbly. “The ‘Life’ of the party.”

Death perked up. “Yes!” Her eyes shone with excitement. “Or you could say… the ‘Death’ of boredom.”

“I think I’m done with the life and death puns. What can you do with Kaya?”

Death thought for a long minute. Time ticked by, endlessly, calmly in the little cave. Kaya hugged her legs closer to herself.

Finally, Death turned to look at her, and said in all seriousness-

“Kaya papaya.”

Kaya choked. “No!”

“Yes!”

“Absolutely not.”

“Too bad, Kaya papaya. I’m calling you that for the rest of your life…” She paused. “Life! Gasp! Pun number two!”

Kaya laughed. “Well then you gotta be…” She paused. The name echoed in her head, just out of reach. What…

“Toshiko.” Toshiko offered her a grin.

“Ha, I’m not touching that,” Kaya shook her head. “You’re stuck with Toshi at best.”

“I can deal with that.” Toshiko grinned. “Toshi, huh? Pretty cute, if I do say so myself.”

Kaya laughed. This was all so… easy. The fun and the laughs and the smiles. It all came naturally. Everything felt right.

“We should go to the surface one day. I’ll show you around.”

Toshiko blinked, and suddenly a beautiful smile spread over her face. “Sure,” she agreed. “It’s a date. Want me to take you to the exit?”

“Sure. Just remember, if you try and ghost me, I know where you live.”

Toshiko laughed all the way out, even as they left through the cave mouth.

Just as they passed the threshold, Kaya turned on her shoulder and flashed a smile behind her. The blue light of the spirits glimmered and then vanished.

“Screw you too,” she whispered and accepted Toshiko’s hand in hers.


—

“Soo, how was your day? Death still nagging you as much as ever?”

Kaya froze at the sound of Chizu’s voice. Maybe she should keep Toshiko a secret, just for now. She had no idea how her roommate might react, and besides… it was her secret. In a way, she wasn’t ready to share Toshiko just yet.

So she crossed her arms and scoffed..

“You bet she is. Can’t stand it, half the time.”

“Well, tell me about it! Maybe I can help!” Chizu sat up, eyes bright.

“Oh, don’t get me started! Her laugh is absolutely repulsive! I can’t stand it!” She huffed. It’s kinda… cute. She sounds like a drunk donkey, sure, but in an adorable way.

“Figures. I mean, she is Death, after all. It must be absolutely hideous.” She nodded understandingly. “So, what was she laughing at anyway? A dead elderly couple?”

“How’d you guess?” Kaya snorted. Chizu seemed to be buying it… it seemed like all the time she’d spent conditioning herself to love everyone was helping her acting. “But, yeah, some… dead elderly couple. I can’t believe her. It’s like death is just a joke to her.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Just sounded typical of her. Anything else she did that bugged you?”

“Oh, don’t get me started.”

I’ll tell her later, she told herself as she started rambling about Death’s evils. It’s fine. She’ll understand. When I figure this out, then I’ll tell her why I’m thinking about Toshi… and it’ll be fine.

—

“Come onnnn, let me show you around!” She felt Toshiko grabbing her hand, flashing her a grin. “There’s this one cafe that’s really cool. Have you had chocolate cheesecake yet? It’s simply THE BEST!”

“Well, I guess we’ve gotta try it then. So I can nag you about your failures and inability to consume decent food.” Kaya smirked and Toshiko wailed about how mean she was, laughing all the way.

This was a new side of her, wasn’t it? Toshiko seemed determined to expose a new face a minute, her expression shifting from delighted to angry to pure, childish joy.

The two stopped in front of the café, and Toshiko took up a position in front of it. Kaya almost shuddered as the man’s eyes actually landed on her. It was a strange feeling, being seen by people. For so long it’d just been those she met in Aden.

Before, she had never wanted to be seen. But now, with Toshiko by her side… she felt maybe it wasn’t so bad.

“Alright, let’s go! Two please! Chocolate!”

“I haven’t seen you two in town before,” the man noted, leaning in. “You new around here?”

“We’re just visitors.” Toshiko smiled at him. “From far away.”

“Good that you two have each other.” He smiled back. “Safety, you know?” He eyed them knowingly.

Toshiko laughed a bit and underneath the counter, her hand found Kaya’s and gave it a squeeze.

They went outside to eat. As Kaya stared at the cheesecake upon her own plate contemplatively, Toshiko eagerly shoveled her own into her mouth.

How long had it been… since she’d had a nice day like this? Had she… ever had anything like this? Why was she always expected to do all her stupid duty crap? Never allowed to enjoy life’s small pleasures, like just sitting down and having cake with a… friend, or…

Her face flushed. Hmm.

“Hey, you going to eat that?” Toshiko poked her fork at Kaya’s plate. “I’ll gladly take it, ya know. Blasphemous to leave a cheesecake uneaten, after all.”

Kaya blinked out of her thoughts. “Screw off. It’s my cheesecake, and you know it.”

But even so, she awkwardly fidgeted with the fork, trying to remember how she’d seen the mortals in the town doing it. It was strange- her fingers weren’t accustomed to it. For a minute, she felt as though she should have two sticks in her hand instead… but the fork didn’t appear to have the ability to morph in shape, however she willed it.

“Ohhh, they didn’t tell you how to hold that?” Toshiko stared at her with wide eyes.

“Well… no. It’s never been exactly relevant to our…” She narrowed her eyes. “Duties.”

Toshiko smiled at her in a way she’d never seen before. “Augh, of course. Here. Let me help.” Toshiko took her hand in hers and gently helped her rotate the fork. Kaya winced at the touch a moment, half-expecting Toshiko to tear her apart with a force equal to those nightmarish visions.

But she didn’t. And her hands… felt unexpectedly gentle, and soft.

“Huh. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it! Now, come on. You gotta try this.”

Kaya carefully cut a small bite of the cake with her fork, and brought it to her mouth. She let out an unexpected gasp, finding herself taking forkful after forkful.

Toshiko leaned her elbow against the surface of the table, hand to her face as she looked thoughtfully over at Kaya. “Well? How is it?”

“Holy moly! You’re actually right for once! It’s the best! We should go get more!”

She grabbed Toshiko’s hand, pulling her away from the table. The other girl grinned at her.

“Well, duh, of course we should! Just gotta keep some room for stuff after. You down to hit the town?”

So she still kept that attitude. But Kaya wasn’t so sure she minded.

“Sure! Guess you can show me everything that can be done around here.”

Toshiko laughed, slowing down, her gaze fixing on a point in the distance. “It’s funny… isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“How the personification of Death knows more about life than Life does?”

Kaya snorted. “You’re an idiot.”

Toshiko laughed and gave her finger guns. “Love you too, babe! Well! Guess we better get going, ay, Kaya?”

They went back and got more cheesecake, ordering more and more until they felt sick from eating so much. Seconds turned to minutes, and the minutes turned to hours. But as the numbers on the clock blurred in Kaya’s mind, she didn’t mind anymore.

The silences were never awkward, and as her hand found Toshiko’s, smiling, laughing, joking around, and having a good time… she finally felt right. How could the previous Lifes have forbidden her from being around someone so… wonderful?

“It was really fun to spend time with you. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it! This place sure is great, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… I- never knew what I was missing! I-”

“HOW COULD YOU?”

Kaya whipped around, to see those two boys again. One of them pushed the other backwards, sending him flying to the pavement.

“K-Kyle! I can explain, I-”

“There’s nothing to explain. What were you thinking? That was your father. They’re going to arrest you, and I- I-” Kyle’s eyes welled up with tears. “Peter…”

“Well, I just, I just thought-”

“...stay away from me, okay? This just… isn’t going to work anymore.”

“...okay.”

Kaya saw Toshiko watching them as they parted ways halfway down the street. There was something very haunting in those black eyes of hers.

She reached under the table and gave her hand a squeeze. But even so, Toshiko did not take her eyes off the street, staring into oblivion.

—

Kaya made her way to the realm of Death, stopping by the stone door which guarded it.

She turned the handle. It didn’t move. She kicked the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Huh. That was… weird?

Why couldn’t she… get in there? Had there been some kind of mistake? But even as she began spinning excuses and ‘maybe she’s out’-s, she couldn’t deny the undeniable truth looming overhead.

Something’s wrong. Something’s VERY wrong.

She couldn’t ask him about this. For all she knew… he might have been the one causing it. There was only one person who came to mind, one entity that she could consult with for help.

Chizu.

The hallways were strangely silent as she moved down them, none of the hustle and bustle she’d grown used to. In fact, there was no one there at all.

A trickle of fear ran over Kaya’s spine and she broke into a run. She climbed the stairs to her tower two steps at a time and when she reached the top, threw the door open.

Chizu sat on her bed, fiddling with what looked like a knife. She appeared lost in thought, but looked up sharply as Kaya entered.

“Chizu! Holy crap, I can’t believe you’re-” She broke off into a fit of coughs.

In between Kaya’s gasps for air, Chizu seemed to be looking between her and the knife, seeming to… decide something.

Then she looked up, and that thoughtful, guarded expression was gone. Just the regular Chizu look of concern and exasperation.

“Sun, is everything alright? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so upset.”

Kaya caught her breath, trying to calm herself down. But she just couldn’t seem to stop shaking. Chizu would know what to do… right?

Okay. I’ll tell her.

“Chizu, something bad is happening.”

“Is it about Death again?”

“Well, yes. I tried to head to her realm, and… there was a door blocking my way. I couldn’t open it.”

Chizu considered this. She stepped off the bed and began to slowly circle around the room. “Why were you trying to go see Death? Was it… something important?”

Kaya laughed a little nervously. Tears were welling in her eyes, threatening to spill and why couldn’t Chizu understand? “As a matter of fact, it… was important. I was going to visit her. Again. I think… I’m falling in love with her. So I really, really need your help. I know it’s a shock, but can’t we talk about this later?”

A sudden change came over her roommate. Chizu slowly turned around. “Did you say you’re falling in love with Death?” There was a peculiar note to her tone. Almost a dangerous one.

“I said… I think I’m falling in love with her! You said to be true to how I feel, right? Forget what they think, and…”

Kaya stopped, when she saw the look on Chizu’s face. With every word, the girl’s face changed, morphing from a polite smile into a snarl. Oh.

Crap.

“I thought you hated her. Isn’t that your natural inclination, like every other Life? She’s your enemy, isn’t she? The enemy of humans. Of your way.” Chizu was shaking, now, her fingers balling into fists. “What are you even going on about? You can’t be in love with her. It’s not natural, aren’t you supposed to hate?”

Kaya went still.

Hate…

No.

“Chizu… I really don’t like where you’re going with this.”

“Sun, she’s Death.”

“You told me to be true to what I felt. To let myself feel whatever I wanted to feel.”

“Not,” she said softly. “If it involves love. Didn’t you want to evolve beyond your purpose, Kaya?”

Kaya’s heart pounded. There was ringing in her ears.

“...Chizu. Why do you want me to hate Death?”

Kaya’s brain was a mess. All she could hear was the ringing in her ears and-

She has a knife.

Kaya froze.

Chizu raised her head, slowly, eyes glimmering with a dark light. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sun. It’s like I said… it would only be natural for you to hate Death. A form of order, if you will.”

“Order,” Kaya tasted the word on her tongue. “No… I don’t think so. What’s natural for me- what’s orderly for me- is to make my own choices. To grow past my own initial prejudices and love the people I want to love… and not let anyone control me.”

This was probably one of the stupidest things she’d done in her life, but-

“You. You’re trying to control me. Right now. Who are you, Chizu? Who are you really?”

Chizu fell very quiet suddenly. Her irises and pupils had melded and they were growing, encapsulating the whites of her eyes. The shades of red and black began to race over her eyelashes and climb up her face and towards her head. As it touched her hair, then sheets of grey, spiky locks began to fall over her face.

“Who do you think?”

Well, a dozen craps on a kebab. This was looking pretty bad. Hey, at least with those ten inch claws, there was probably no need for a knife, right?

“Oh, you backstabbing hellcat.” Kaya sighed. “Guess I’ll need a new roommate then, huh?”

Chizu’s clawed hand reached for her. Kaya’s eyes narrowed in on those claws, drawing closer and closer to her eyes, and-

With a yelp, she ducked just before it seized upon her skull and then she was racing away with the demon’s howls rising behind her.

She set me up.

The worst part was, Kaya had never seen it coming. She’d thought her roommate had been her friend… or at least, an ally. Someone she could trust.

She had no friends in this place. No one she could trust. No one, except for…

Toshi!

Toshiko was trapped in the Realm of Death. Somebody had locked her down there… Presumably Chizu.

Kaya’s skin crawled as she guessed as to the reason why.

If I killed Toshi… would that break Order?

Life killing a Death who loved her. That was so wrong, it might even be enough to destroy the Realm of Aden.

I’ve been their pawn this whole time.

If she hadn’t fallen in love with Toshiko…

Something tightened in her chest and she hurried her pace.

The door must’ve been locked in some sense. Maybe there was a lock she could pick, or maybe there wasn’t… But one way or another, she’d have to get into that room. Could she break down the door?

Running down the hallways, Kaya spotted and snatched up a discarded spear and swung it over her shoulder. Perfect.

Kaya just had to hope that this would work.

Arriving at the door, she didn’t waste a second and plunged the spear into the wooden knob. It groaned, not initially letting up. But she kept jabbing at it, and finally it went through. Steeling her nerves, Kaya reached inside the spot where the knob had been and yanked out the thing wedging the door shut. It was some shard of light that melted in her palm. She shook her wrist out, feeling weirdly unnerved at the feeling; like liquid sunlight dripping off her skin.

The door slammed open, and there stood Toshiko.

“‘Bout time you showed up! Was about to just die of boredom.” She smirked. “Badass spear, by the way! Really rocking the hero look, Sunny-D.”

Kaya threw the spear to the side, running forward and hugging her stupid, sweet, Toshiko. “You’re okay!” she gasped. “I was so worried…”

She looked down at Toshiko’s hands which were wrapping shakily around her, and then shoved Toshiko away. “You’re hurt!”

There were burn marks all over her palms. It was as if Toshiko had been handling hot coals for the past half hour. A smell of burnt meat hit her and Kaya’s terror spiked.

“Just a little light bullcrap,” Toshiko waved a mutilated hand dismissively. “Dark creatures can’t touch it. Some gal used some spell to leave that there in the door. Said something about me being a prize for you or something…” She blinked, then peered at Kaya curiously. “Jeez. What happened? Someone cutting onions around here? Or awww- were you worried about me?”

As usual, she made everything into a joke. Kaya rolled her eyes.

“We don’t have any time for that, Toshi. I think…” She inhaled sharply, trying to get her thoughts in order. “I think Chizu, the one who locked you down here, is an agent of Chaos. She was trying to manipulate me into doing something to you. If she had managed to make me hate you, and prove it to the whole universe- she could have caused it all to be thrown out of balance.”

“So, what I’m hearing is, you don't hate me! Yippee! You think I’m awesome (which I am)!”

“Toshi,” Kaya warned.

“Augh. Yeah, guess you're right. Okay, okay, this is pretty bad. But what are we supposed to do about it?”

“We have to stop this from happening… somehow.”

“Then you know where we gotta go,” Toshiko grinned.

“Where?”

“Where else? The place where everything begins… and ends.” Toshiko got a distant look in her eyes. “The mortal realm. Isn’t that what they want?”

What?

All the chaos these past few months... For a moment, she remembered Toshi’s face, staring into a dead man’s face, pain reflected in her features.

“Everything that happened, until now has been there.”

Kaya’s mouth formed around the words against her will. “But… why the town?”

“Where else?” Toshiko gave her a sad smile. “Come on.”

It should’ve been nice, holding hands with Toshiko. But all she could feel was the trembling, burnt flesh sliding against hers- and the painful reminder that she had caused this.

—

The whole town was on fire, not in the literal sense. The skies were orange and red, and seemed to be some form of evil entity, towering over them. It was a dangerous reminder that soon, all of it would be burned to the ground… if they didn’t do anything.

“It’s time to end this.” Toshiko looked down. “Chaos is rife in this town right now. The car crash. The fights. Everything that’s happened… Order has been overcome.”
“Death is a part of order,” Kaya pointed out.

“Old man Dylan had a few years left in him,” Toshiko said bluntly. “Someone influenced it. I could tell. And not a mortal.”

Oh. Oh. That was bad.

And she couldn’t tell anyone. Because who would listen to Death?

Only Kaya could help her. Breathing in, she set her jaw firmly. “How do we fix it?”

“We need to connect to the mortals. Order or Chaos, we’re victim to their whims. They’re the only ones who hold the real power to change any of this.”

Blinking, Kaya said slowly, “So you’re saying we have to influence the mortals to change the structure of our universe?”

“Yep! Sounds cool, doesn’t it?”

“It sounds absolutely insane, and I love it. Oh, I love you.” Kaya shook her head. “God, Toshi.”

“Great! Now any idea about how the frick to do it?”

“Not particularly. You figure it out.”

Rolling her eyes, Toshiko started, “Okay. The mortals inside the town are all in disarray. We just have to figure out how to solve everyone’s problems, y’see?”

Kaya blinked, confused. “But… how are we supposed to do that, exactly? The town has so many problems. And all they’ve got in common is a dead guy, and he ain’t coming back… unless you have some way of getting us into his afterlife.”

A sly grin built its way over Toshiko’s face. “Don’t you get it, Kaya papaya? It’s all connected. Everything is connected!! And I think I know who it’s all connected to.”

“Who?”

“Why, those two kiddos, of course. Haven’t you noticed? They’ve always been at the center of everything! No matter what happens, we keep seeing them.”

Kaya’s eyes narrowed. Now that she thought about it, that was true. No matter what had happened, those two had always been at the center of it. “So if we help them solve their issues…”

“Then we could figure out how to fix the whole town!”

“Where are they, though?” Kaya asked. “I hate to blow your bubble, but we have no idea where they are. We don’t even know if they’re together. Heck, they could be on opposite sides of the town right now, fast asleep.”

“Or,” Toshiko said. “They could be in the park, sitting on a hidden ledge in their secret love spot.” She grinned at Kaya’s expression. “Don’t you think that’s a great place to end the world?”

“Come on,” Kaya seized her by the arm, careful not to touch the burns. “It’s time to go.”

“On an adventure!” Toshiko sing-songed.

The park crested by the bench, just as before. It overlooked the whole town, now illuminated in the sunset shades of red and orange. It seemed to Kaya the same shade as what had spread over Chizu as she morphed into the awful demon thing.

It didn’t take long to find them.

“Why did you ask me out here? I already told you I didn’t want to talk.”

“Please, just listen to me. I can explain everything, I swear!”

“Why should I believe a word you say?! You’re a liar you-”

“STOP!” Kaya shouted.

She waited.

Both boys looked up and around for a person who wasn’t there. For once, the boys seemed to agree on something, and that was that this was absolutely insane.

“Is someone there?” Kyle ventured hesitantly.

“You two love each other, don’t you?”

“I- well, yes, but I can’t ignore what he did! To his own father, no less! We can’t… we can’t make this work anymore.”

“He didn’t do it,” Kaya said very quietly.

“What did you say?”

Silence.

“What did she say?” Kyle’s voice was trembling.

A deep, shuddering breath from Peter. “She’s right. I didn’t. I… thought about it, but… I couldn’t do it. I changed my mind. I couldn’t kill him, even if he was…” His eyes welled up with tears. “Even if he was a horrible person. He was still my father.”

“How did you know that he didn’t do it?” Kyle still sounded disbelieving.

“I saw him. I happened to be there. He didn’t do anything.”

“You mean… you didn’t do it? You really didn’t do it?”

“Of course I didn’t! Do you… really think I’d kill my own father? Do you have that little faith in me?”

“No… I… of course not. I love you, Peter.”

“I… I love you too, Kyle.”

Kaya watched as they embraced and locked lips. Ew. Gross.

But… cute. That had been… a lot easier than she’d thought it would be.

It shocked her, how quickly everything changed. As they walked off, hand in hand, the red sky faded back and the sun emerged from behind the clouds.

My namesake.

The world had healed.

And all it had taken was an honest conversation.

“Toshiko… it worked! IT WORKED! You did it!” She flung her arms around her, bringing her into a tight embrace.

“No, you did it, Kaya papaya. I just told you what to say, silly.” She hugged Kaya back, and patted her head.

She stroked a lock of Toshiko’s long blue hair behind her ear. “We… both did it. So, what happens now?”

“Why don’t we get some ice cream? We deserve it.”


—

Kaya brought the pencil down along the page, pausing to sketch in the shadows. Slowly, a face came into view. She worked on the feathers along the edge and had just started on the-

“Kaya!” he banged down the door. “It’s time to go the Room of Order! Order has summoned…”

He stared at her, his deadpan expression obvious even under the hood.

“Get out.” She flung her pencil at his head.

He laughed the whole way out.

So what if she’d been drawing Toshiko? The crows motif was fun. And cute. Toshi’s side profile made for really good art.

—

“Sun,” Order spoke. “Embodiment of life. Dweller of the world of men and the realm of Aden.”

A blinding light shone in her face, almost freezing her in place. Except… it didn’t. She wasn’t afraid of it anymore.

“You have brought peace and prosperity to the residents in the living world. For that, I wish to reward you. You have done what no other predecessor of yours could do. You have… destroyed Chaos.”

“Reward me? Well. It’s about time. I have been doing this for way too long, after all. Could’ve happened around the turn of the last century, you know. Wouldn’t be any complaints here.”

“...as snarky as ever, I see. You have retained that about you… or perhaps, regained it in a new fashion.” Order thought for a second. “Are you not curious about your reward, little Life?”

“Well… duh. It’d be stupid not to be curious about it, am I right?”

Order sighed. “I suppose so. Very well, then. I’m offering you a promotion. Far above your station now. It would-”

Kaya shook her head. “Nope. Nah. No thanks.”

“Ah, but listen. You would be able to-”

She raised her hand. “I’m not interested.”

“But… why?”

Kaya shrugged her shoulders. “I’m happy with my work the way it is now. I don’t think that has to change. Does it have to?”

Order considered this. “Well, I suppose not. If you’re quite certain, then…”

“There is something I’d like to ask of you, though,” she interrupted. “If that’s alright and everything.”

“I suppose that can be arranged. What is it?”

“I would like to ask for the freedom to continue my work as I please. So long as I manage to keep everything in order, with no consequences.”

“Very well. Is there anything else?”

She hesitated. The seconds turned to minutes, and the minutes threatened to turn to hours, once again, and…

“Well, if there’s nothing else…”

“No. There is one more thing.”

“And just what would that be?”

There was a blazing fire, fitting of her amber eyes, and an undeniable conviction in her voice. “I would like to be allowed unlimited access to Toshi- Death’s realm. So that I may visit her whenever I like.”

Order stared at her as if she had two heads. “Are you positive that’s what you want? Have you truly thought about this? Death?”

“Yes. I have. What, did you really think I wouldn’t think hard about something like that?” She raised her eyebrows.

There was a tense silence.

“So… do you think you can make it happen?”

Order knew when it’d been beaten. “Very well. If you’re sure that you can fulfill your duties, and that it won’t interfere with them. May the humans have mercy on you.”

“Thank you.”

—

“Hey, Kaya, wait up!” he hurried after her. “Did you get the promotion?”

“Refused it,” she replied.

“Hah,” he snorted. “Sounds like you.”

“Yeah.”

Silence fell over them as they walked down the hallway. Deities bustled around them. She saw Peace and War and Love and Hate. They all seemed to be moving in unison. The agents of the universe.

That’s what she had saved.

Everyone. Everything.

“You know… I really do care about you, Kaya. I was a jerk in the beginning…”

“But so was I,” she finished.

“Ha,” he laughed. “Yeah. Sorry, not sorry.”

It was quiet once more. Kaya entered her room, which seemed dim and sad with Chizu gone. It was almost as if it were dead once more. She found herself wishing for another roommate. Someone to fill the awkward silence.

“Yeah, Kaya. I’m sorry. I think I messed you up something.”

“You did, but I think part of it was me.” Kaya looked at her feet. “I was looking for meaning. Maybe too intensely. I clung onto everything you said. I villainised the people I wanted to villainise. I came to hate Toshiko, even though she later turned out to be my favourite person in the world.”

Sighing, she sat down on her bed, examining her pillow. It was sad and flat and generally a disappointing pillow. Maybe she’d figure out a way to fix it… eventually.

But for now…

He sat down on the floor in front of her, crossing his legs. “All the same, I’m sorry. And I do support you. Even if you’re infuriating at times. Do you think we can still be friends?”

“You’re infuriating too,” she muttered. “But I guess I fell in love with my worst enemy… so maybe I can come to care about you too.”

“So does that make me your father, then?” His eyes glinted with mischief.

“Fat chance.” She flung a pillow at him. “How about a sibling?”

“Sure. Then you gotta call me by name.”

“And what might that be?”

“Briar. Briar Aden.” He smiled. “Taken us long enough to get on with the introductions, hm? Not like you haven’t forgotten to introduce me to your girlfriend.”

Kaya scoffed, though her cheeks had gone red. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“You sure?” Briar’s smile morphed into a mischievous grin. “Maybe you should ask her about that before you make any assumptions you might regret.”

Even as he left, the words were spinning in Kaya’s mind. The memories. Her question… and cheesecake. He’d been right about things before. So… was it possible…

Or maybe he was just an idiot with a little bit of luck. To hell with it, who knew.

—

Kaya knocked on the stone door that served as the home of Death. She could hear the sounds of Death Metal behind the door and nearly snorted at the pun. She’s gotta make everything a joke. And Kaya was too whipped to care.

Sighing, she decided to wait a minute before she started banging. Though, judging by the noises in there, Toshiko probably wouldn’t be-

The door slammed into the wall, revealing a Toshiko behind it.

The two stared at each other for a very long moment.

Kaya opened her mouth to-

Toshiko blurted out, “Hey, there’s a circus thingy happening. Free admissions, because there’s some sentimental old man running it and they’re playing for a hospital. Totally not relevant to anything at all. But uh… Mrs. Smith’s supposed to have a kid that day so… you can go breathe life into the babies or whatever, Sunny-D. But maybe after, you could come watch with me?”

Kaya stared at Toshiko. “That was a lot of words for ‘do you want to go on a date’.”

“Hey!” Toshiko’s face went red. “Shut up. If you’re gonna be a jerk about it, then maybe I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Oh shush.” Kaya rolled her eyes, smiling to herself. She leaned closer and clasped Toshiko’s face between her hands, enjoying how the girl’s breath hitched at the contact. “We could do it to celebrate your hundredth birthday.”

“O-Oh! Okay!” Toshiko’s face got somehow redder, though she didn’t make a move to get away. “It’s a date then?”

“It’s a date, Toshi.”

—

The circus was beautiful. It was easy to see how it was always the talk of the town. And at night, when they set off the fireworks, it was as if the whole world was lighting up with joy and laughter.

“Hey, Kaya, I hope you know that setting fireworks off into a bin before the show is technically a crime. Like, theft. And arson, possibly. So you’ll definitely be arrested if someone catches you.”

“The only crime is keeping me from my urge for violence,” Kaya retorted, lighting a fresh one. “Besides! Listen to the crowd, they’re loving it.”

“Who’s the crowd? Me?”

“Yes, you, my darling. Do you deny it?”

“No, I am very much enjoying this. Would you like another match?”

“Yes please!” Both quasi-deities snickered.

“Hey! You can’t be back here!” A security guard blocked their way.

“Scatter!” Toshiko yelled.

The man had no hope of catching them by the time they reached the fence. Laughing as they hopped it and the guard yelled, they scurried off to rejoin the crowd.

All around them were the people of the town. The sweet watchmaker, laughing at his grandsons as they gawked at the lady on stilts. A woman carrying a fresh loaf of bread, smiling at the boy by her side. And a man at a stall serving cakes- not cheesecakes! Turns out he had variety!- who brightened visibly when he saw them and waved them over. Probably missed his best cheesecake-loving customers.

“You think I can find a papaya cake?” Toshiko asked and Kaya swatted her.

“Definitely not a thing,” Kaya muttered back.

“In the town for the circus?” he asked cheerfully. He served a sample strawberry cake to a boy who beamed at him with a mouth full of missing teeth. “Ah, shoo, shoo.” He happily ushered the boy away. “You two going to be coming by with the circus every year?”

“Naw. I think we’re staying. At least for a while.” Toshiko smiled at Kaya and kissed her on the cheek.

“And just as well. It’s very nice to see a couple young ladies together. I think this town could really use some perspective. And you two seem like just the kind to give it- with some fiery entertainment, of course.”

Judging by his smile, Kaya suspected he knew a little bit more than he let on, particularly in regards to fireworks and arson charges. But as he laughed and turned to serve another customer, she couldn’t help a matching smile spreading over her face.

“Thanks sir,” she said. “I think this town might be just the right place for us too.”

“Hey… don’t I know you?”

The two turned around… and there stood Kyle and Peter, holding hands, wearing matching wool sweaters.

“Maybe you do,” Toshiko said. “Maybe you don’t. You lived here all your life?” She grinned at Kaya.

Kaya rolled her eyes. Really… even now…

“I moved out for a year, back when I was a kid. But otherwise…” Kyle stared at them. “Hm.”

Peter frowned. “We probably shouldn’t obstruct the stand. Come on, we can go by the bleachers.”

“Yeah, that works.”

The four of them moved through the crowds. No one seemed to notice them, just laughing and having fun. The cheesecake man grinned and shot them a thumbs-up. Make friends, he mouthed.

They stopped by the bleachers, and for a long, awkward moment they just stared at each other.

“I’m Kyle.”

“Pete Dylan.”

“Kaya Aden.”

“Your worst nightmare.”

Kaya elbowed her. Toshiko snickered and stuck her tongue out.

“Nightmares, huh?” Kyle raised an eyebrow. “Pretty sure we’ve just been through one. Though I don’t think you featured.”

The two boys exchanged glances.

“Care to elaborate?” Toshiko grinned.

Kaya elbowed her again and Toshiko laughed.

“Nightmares…” Peter frowned, staring at Toshiko. “Is that how I know you?”

Toshiko cocked an eyebrow. “You been dreaming about me?”

Peter visibly recoiled. “Ew! Ew! No! I am very homosexual!”

Kyle and Kaya both laughed. Toshiko shot them a delighted grin, but Peter looked more disgruntled than anything, crossing his arms.

“Okay, Kyle. No more laughing.”

Kyle stopped laughing and ducked his head. “Understood. Order received.”

“You two seem very… happy.” Kaya noted. It was such a contrast to a few days ago. When the whole fate of the world had rested on their trepedious relationship.

The two exchanged glances. “Yeah. We’re happy,” Peter said quietly. They stepped closer together and cautiously, they linked arms.

“Happy, huh…” Toshiko echoed.

“With some baggage. But that’s a given for any relationship. There’s no future in love, if you don’t know you can get through the rough patches together.” Peter inhaled softly, and gave Kyle’s side a squeeze. “I think… we’ve figured some stuff out.”

“That’s right. We’ve got some stuff to work through in our relationship…” Kyle looked at Peter. “But I think for now… we’re fine.”

“Better than fine,” Peter said quietly, reaching over to hold Kyle’s hand.

“Sorry,” Kyle laughed a little. “I don’t know why we’re telling you guys this. It’s not as if we know you or anything.” His eyes trailed away from them, towards the stage. “Though… maybe we do a bit.”

“I think we do.” Peter wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “In some way… I think everyone’s connected, in this town. We all know about each other. We all serve some kind of role. Even if the roles we’re put in aren’t meant to be jammed together at all… I think we’re all meant to be here. So we’ll find a way to make it work no matter what.”

“That’s how we fell in love,” Kyle interjected. “The roles we played. And how we figured out how to make them work for us. You know… together.” He thought for a minute. “Well, that, and Peter being crazy smart and weirdly philosophical. It kinda rubbed off on me, if you can’t tell.”

Peter laughed and the two smiled at one another in a icky puppy-love kind of way. Ew. But also kinda aww.

“The show’s starting,” Kaya mentioned.

“The fireworks!” Peter gasped. “Come on Kyle! They say that if you wish on one, whatever you wish will come true.”

“Isn’t that shooting stars?” Kyle laughed.

“Shooting stars don’t exist, dummy. They’re just an old Earth tale.”

The two left, giggling and kissing all the way.

“Super gross. Super cheesy. Wishes don’t exist!” Toshiko rolled her eyes. But there was a certain glint in her eyes as she turned to Kaya. “Say, Kaya, don’t you think we should see the fireworks anyway? Just to… make sure they work.”

“Sure, sure.” Kaya laughed.

Kaya and Toshiko walked hand in hand past the crowds of people whom they cared for. Everyone was looking up towards the sky, peering eagerly for a glimpse of the fireworks.

Toshiko gave Kaya’s hand a squeeze. And then a spark of purple hit the sky and it exploded in colour.

The embodiment of Death was laughing. So happy. Tears were in her eyes as she whooped and jumped in the air, long blue hair flowing behind her. Her crooked nose was beautiful, and her smile was as if the whole world had been given to her with just a spark of gunpowder and colouration.

The embodiment of Life knew she was beautiful. And that she was all hers.

A wish…

Closing her eyes, Kaya came to the conclusion that she had everything she could’ve possibly wanted. There didn’t need to be universal love, or earth, or meaning, or any of those other things she’d decided had value. All she needed was this girl and this moment, hearing her cheer for the fireworks.

I wish that next year, when the circus comes around, I can be here with Toshi. We’ll spend the night watching fireworks, and then…

Her eyes opened. She reached up and clasped Toshiko’s cheek. Toshiko beamed at her, and they leaned in and finally, finally, they kissed.

And if I’m ever reborn again… that I can do this all over again.

---