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Forum Thread

Lei's Leitmotif

Forum-Index Diaries Lei's Leitmotif
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sat, 14/01/2017 12:47 (7 Years ago)

feelings





pretty much
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Mon, 16/01/2017 16:21 (7 Years ago)

gmaes



I suck at finishing games
I have a whole bunch of all kinds of games that are about half finished
and I hate it
so I thought that publishing the list of those games might stop this procrastination of mine


Limbo (PSV)
a small ambient game, but I just can't finish it. Shame on me.


The Last Door Season 2 (PC)
not sure why I stopped playing that one, I remember the first one to be awesome but I can't remember anything about the second one


Tekken 6 (PSV)
I made it my goal to beat all the story modes in every Tekken-game, and this one's not an exception 3u3 I'm just too lazy for some of the fighting styles


TES IV Oblivion (PC)
(argonian run) played it through already though I want to beat it as an argonian. It's just such a long game :'D


Earthbound (SNES)
played it through when I was smaller though I'm stuck somewhere now and I can't even remember where. I have to finish it


Pokemon Snakewood (GBA)
I had so many attempts for this rom in particular |D and I always start over again and still can't beat it. It's a disgrace because I really like that one.


Void Pyramid (MOB)
(small) game on mobile that's really interesting. I want to finish it already so I can delete it :>


Silent Hill - Book of Memories (PSV)
not what I imagined but it's an SH game
that almost obligates me to finally finish it


and probs more I have already forgotten about


I have another list of games that I got but haven't started yet
guess when this list is cleared/almost cleared I drop it here
o boi


considered done

Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Thu, 19/01/2017 09:14 (7 Years ago)

future gmaes



I have the bad habit of buying new games despite of having too many already
this is a list of games I haven't started yet but are burning a hole in my heart for a long time now.



list got too big ;;
forged a must-do-list including videogames, otomes, movies, series, comics and mangas I still have to delve in

(started/almost finished stuff)

Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Thu, 19/01/2017 17:32 (7 Years ago)

minirant



It's really petty ok. First world problems.
Like,, I don't even want it to get worse



I just hate it when friends you want to see cancel the meetup just before the event -u-
It's not like I aready looked forward to it and sheduled my life around them.
If the excuse were legit I wouldn't be as mad as I am but excuses like "decided to go shopping that day" or "I doesn't make sense if we meet one hour later" just don't float with me gdi

Gh,,

If they decide to dissapoint me they should at least tell me the truth uwu
But now I have a bunch of food and beverages and these butts won't even chip in.
Now I don't feel like seeing them for a long time |D it just was the straw that broke the camels back.

Hope they regret leaving me stranded like that :p


also
The Life Of Pablo is one weird album

Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sun, 22/01/2017 07:55 (7 Years ago)

ugh



what do you do if somebody gives you the silent treatment for no reason?
well k there's a reason but it's a really stupid one
I tried making her laugh but she shut the door in my face
I always thought you can measure maturity in age but apparently you can't
co~ol


Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Wed, 25/01/2017 06:10 (7 Years ago)

~just dm things



As a dm (dungeon master) in most d20 games you have the power to kill off NPCs you don't want there/don't need anymore
in theory.
But idk,, there's always a PC that got attached to one of them and they're sensitive af.
Of course I want them to have fun and stuff, but sometimes characters must die to push the plot forward. There's even one NPC I adore but I need him dead so things can be revealed/happen.
It can be a really straining job at times :'v this even cuts ties with friends, I swear.

Idk if I should rewrite my story a tad bit to leave certain NPCs alive or just continue it as I had planned - with the risk of one or more players dropping out b/c I killed their love interest.


maybe I'm not fine when I'm drinking wine straight from the bottle

Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Thu, 26/01/2017 20:57 (7 Years ago)

ITS ON



darn it I'll be trying for a mega-able Kangaskhan for the third time now - I'll start when I collected 12 eggs or sth. I won't back down this time, even if these hunts are annoying af!

I'm coming for you, mega kangaroo!



edit: got that thing at chain #35

bl e s s
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 27/01/2017 17:32 (7 Years ago)

y tho



Instead of playing these new, awesome games that I got I dug up the oldest games I have and started playing those?
I'm so attached to the past and the old things that I know and love and I'm scared to move forward.

aT lEAST fINISH tHE gAMES yOU hAVEN't fINISHED a hUNDRED tIMES aLREADY
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Wed, 01/02/2017 13:28 (7 Years ago)

gwah



tfw u make space for something but then u forget hwat was it you wanted to write down


the d20 game ended I guess?
Came to a bad-ending-ish scenario and ended.
Seems like I have time on the weekends again yay


also Joyner Lucas - I'm Sorry kicked me in the balls and I can't get up
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sat, 04/02/2017 07:12 (7 Years ago)

insert blatant yms reference here



I just watched The Truman Show and Jacob's Ladder back to back

instant sadness for the next 2 days

such powerful movies o boi

cheer me up, phelous

you're next, breaking bad season 3



2/3/17, 18:24 : reached Trainerlevel 100
jk everything is a lie
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sun, 05/02/2017 07:23 (7 Years ago)

random thoughts in the morning



I spent yesterday's whole evening with waiting; some friends told me that they'll fetch me later and we'll hang out
Psyche -
They forgot about me and invited other friends? Wow guys that's a new low. It's petty to complain about stuff like that but I was really looking forward to see them again |D
If you're reading this guys: 'Idc if you come or nah' is a pretty weak way to tell me that you forgot about me.

I thought I'll be better with this situation after a good night's rest but I'm still annoyed; I expect little from them - one of those things is to tell me if we met up or no since I have to take care of other people also.
But if you guys need something - like correcting your essayes, drawing stuff for you, come over if you're sick, help you with breakups, entertain you or cook for you - I'm a bad person for not instantly getting my butt to your place and comply.

How's that fair?


ugh

when there's a song you can't stand in your head for days on end

gdi brain u r suposd 2 h8 pop music
get ur slack tgther


some drawing todayyy will fix my mood yay


[sTILL wAITING fOR tHOSE uPDATES]
I imagine that this programming/coding stuff can be pretty challenging though

n no pressure

Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Mon, 06/02/2017 17:32 (7 Years ago)

hngh



//blasts tloz shop music in the background//

AREN'T CRUSHES ON FICTIONAL CHARACTERS JUST THE GREATEST
?????


Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Tue, 07/02/2017 09:18 (7 Years ago)

fill egg dex pls



I filled that old list, only a smallish amount remains (check first page!)

Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Thu, 09/02/2017 07:57 (7 Years ago)

obsession



ob•ses•sion (əbˈsɛʃ ən)

n.

1 : the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2 : the idea, image, etc., itself.
3 : the state of being obsessed.

Obsession.
It's one of the driving forces in my life to be enamoured with certain things, thoughts and ideas. I'd probably just lie down and die if I wouldn't have the things I love to wake up for.
The danger of being that dependant on certain things that when you don't have your 'sting' anymore you're just - nothing.

At this time in my life I'm missing one of the core things that kept me going -
and I'm having a hard time to handle that rn.
Despite having a lot of alternatives for activities I look back to that one thing I don't have anymore.
It's unhealthy and I know it, but I'm a person of habits.

/sighs

time to get over it
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 10/02/2017 22:41 (7 Years ago)

just b/c




heavy mood swings ig

ily ♥️
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sun, 12/02/2017 11:07 (7 Years ago)

dark



"When you have certain experiences
You respond with various emotions, Stimulus Response
Just that as this sort of stimulus
Produces this sort of involuntary muscle response
Well, that's a rather simplified suggestions
Of a complex mental process
But you get the idea.
Cause, Effect."

"Nature endows us at birth with 3 general patterns of emotional response

Rage: Is the response to the primary stimulus of Thwarting
Something interfering with our behavior, our action

Fear: Is the response to loud noises, or loss of support

And the emotional response to Love
Is usually the result of a show of affection, or favors"


[Benjamin Burnley moaning and screaming]

"--the primary stimulus of Thwarting
Something interfering with our behavior, our action

Fear: Is the response to loud noises, or loss of support--"

[cuts off]
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Tue, 14/02/2017 20:30 (7 Years ago)

don't be a fly in my martini baby c'mon down



"Dear Agony
Just let go of me
Suffer slowly
Is this the way it's got to be?
Don't bury me
Faceless enemy
I'm so sorry
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Dear Agony

I feel nothing anymore"

(1/13/2012)



hwat no me
sad oN VALENTines dAY?
impossibruuu
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Wed, 15/02/2017 18:22 (7 Years ago)

map fighters



wanted to do this for a longer time now - to make sure I have a strong mon to fight any map boss eheh
╭(♡・ㅂ・)و ̑̑

I do, huzza
also it doesn't matter anymore, there's no stat growth past level 100 anymore |3


Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 17/02/2017 18:14 (7 Years ago)

[sighs]



It kinda sucks if you have so many ideas in your head but you're just not able to fulfil those expectations you've set for yourself - the stuff you're drawing turns out really wonky, the novel you've been writing ended unexpectedly, learning any instrument you tried to learn didn't work out well and you started balding recently -

I know life never is and never will be easy but atm I just feel kicked down and I like not being able to stand up again alone.

I'm sure these feeling will fade w/ time, as they always will. I'd just wish to get well soon so I can move on with my life and appreciate the joys that are out there.
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sat, 18/02/2017 19:59 (7 Years ago)

"CHEER UP FAM"



you guys are amazing, even if you may or may not have stalked this diary - thanks for the support and the uplifting messages ♥

this thread def needs more phelous
hwatyoudontlikephelousohwellsorryaboutthatthen









I feel better already |D
not from a creative standpoint but from a "guess my life isn't as bad as I previously thought" - standpoint.

yay


on a side note

I'd love to have a vault system like in FlightRising so you can collect&contain stuff for other people, birthday gifts, due payments or future goals.
Currency and summon items just aren't safe from me help