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The Writing Clan (Corner)
Forum-Index → Fan Clubs → Inactive Clubs → The Writing Clan (Corner)
Posted: Sat, 01/08/2015 00:41 (9 Years ago)
Kind of.
She seems like the typical main female lead with a smart mouth who has to deal with way too much.
I don't dig the female characters much anymore due to the sexist portrayal of them. Most of the stories I pick up from the library starring a female character usually has a harem, a perfect personality, and is a Sue.
So, yeah, if you gave her more of a unique personality I think I'd like her more. Or give what she has to deal with to a secondary character. It makes the characters far more likeable.
Posted: Sat, 01/08/2015 00:57 (9 Years ago)
Username:PrincessIchigo
What I am looking for here:since i am a new writer,i want to know the various styles of writing from the other writers
A sample of my Writing:this (put in a link or a spoiler)
Other: #934412412
Posted: Sat, 01/08/2015 01:20 (9 Years ago)
Posted: Sat, 01/08/2015 01:25 (9 Years ago)
Be careful! When you base a character around yourself, or make him/her a Self Insert, they are very prone to being a Mary Sue. It's better if you don't try and make her similar to you. I suggest that you try creating a character which you think is different from you, but with the same home life etc. and see what comes of it. (:
Try Lair of the Beast; they have some really nice advice you can pick up from other reviews! I linked it to both you and Ufimtsev earlier. ^^
Posted: Sat, 01/08/2015 01:25 (9 Years ago)
Okay, before I move forward, what do you think of this beginning?
Also heading to bed, good night!
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Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.
My life story. I close my eyes, washing my thoughts out of my system, tapping the arm of my chair, immersing myself in the facade of happiness it brought me. I snapped my eyes open, and began to stab my keyboard with an almost malicious intent.
But, eh, hurt keyboards were the least of my worries.
I was more worried about my hurt family.
For, like, the last eight years of my life.
Now, look, I’m not the keeper of my family, that’s more of my brother, Max, than me. I’m just that one in the background, worrying but not doing anything, you know?
My life story. I close my eyes, washing my thoughts out of my system, tapping the arm of my chair, immersing myself in the facade of happiness it brought me. I snapped my eyes open, and began to stab my keyboard with an almost malicious intent.
But, eh, hurt keyboards were the least of my worries.
I was more worried about my hurt family.
For, like, the last eight years of my life.
Now, look, I’m not the keeper of my family, that’s more of my brother, Max, than me. I’m just that one in the background, worrying but not doing anything, you know?
Posted: Tue, 04/08/2015 07:47 (9 Years ago)
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Don grinned at Marie, his sharpened teeth glittering white in the light of the campfire. "I'll just be a minute dear, I have to find us food."
Marie grinned back, her own teeth merely a white mark in her face. "I hope this time you at least bring back something edible, last time was such a disappointment."
Don sighed as he left. Oh for a day without the nagging of a woman! Not even death had stopped that part of being married, so why should camping?
Of course, it was different now. It was forbidden now, but the clan leaders couldn't do anything about a pre-existing marriage, especially one like this, a marriage of love. They'd sent him and Marie into the woods, hoping they'd learn to hate each other.
Honestly, he just couldn't hate her. She was even more beautiful now, for all the nagging. And nagging, well, Don expected it. Nagging was Marie's way of caring. The last meal he'd caught hadn't made her sick, nope. Just Don.
Don was a werewolf now, though he often mused that he was the most picky of them all. Before dying, he had been a vegan, and he'd tried to keep that habit with varying degrees of success. Certain leaves and vegetables were fine. Poisonous berries, not so much.
He was just lucky death had made him immortal. He couldn't die from the poison, but he'd be sick as a dog...
And Marie, well she was a zombie, though a well loved and hardly decaying one. She could eat anything, though she preferred fish.
Don sighed as he reached the river. Staying vegan was impossible, because without meat, he became weak...
And if he became too weak, the clan leaders would feed him beef.
Fish it was. Fish for him and Marie, perhaps with some of the rice? His mouth was watering already as he shifted into the wolf. As he fished, he thought of all that made Marie enjoyable.
Her hair was always a silver-blonde, even when they were young college students. Her lips were full, and her body was perfect. Her eyes, once green as springtime, were now pale orbs like the moon. And her skin? Previously darker white, now it was the tanned color of treated leather, making her hair even more striking.
And she loved him. Despite the wars in the zombie and wolf clans, they were immune to both sides, bound by a love that transcended death.
And so it was, that in this wood away from the battle, they lived simply, camping by night, exploring by day.
Trick and Treat art by Podunk
Posted: Sat, 08/08/2015 09:36 (9 Years ago)
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Gloochan:
His friends called him Rocky. The truth was, his parents had been an unfortunate couple who'd accidentally drunk a love potion meant for someone else.
That didn't stop them from loving each other of course, dad always carried mom around under one arm. It just made introducing people to his parents weird, because they were obsessed with egg groups and right and wrong.
Of course, no one acknowledges us, the fusions....he thought. Because we are different, we can't breed, we can only learn two moves, what's the point
Rocky giggled. No one ever told him no anymore. Probably because he could throw 300 punches in the blink of an eye thanks to dad's training, and his poison from mom kept all others far away.
In fact, the only one who'd ever picked on him was his uncle Hitmonlee. Uncle Lee had a problem, he expressed displeasure with kicks.
But Rocky was stronger than Uncle Lee now. His two moves, Bullet Punch and Mega Drain, were a fierce combination on their own.
He didn't need a trainer. He, he'd beat the gyms on his own!
He'd overtrained of course, because that was the only way to stop the psychics from having an advantage, but with mega drain, he could take back his HP from them.
Rocky slowly wiped the drool from his chin as he neared the door to Lance's gym. It wasn't unheard of for pokemon to challenge Lance, though none had earned a badge yet...
But before he reached the door...
AN ABRA!
And he was four regions away in the middle of the woods...
Great... he thought as he started walking towards home...
---
To be continued never because im tired and this sucks.
Trick and Treat art by Podunk
Posted: Sat, 08/08/2015 15:45 (9 Years ago)
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 01:31 (9 Years ago)
I think its pretty funny! Just some critique, try to fix up the grammar a bit. :3 Otherwise, its great!
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 01:33 (9 Years ago)
Who would like to see that?
⠀⠀⠀
⠀call me ender/victor/damie(n) ! she/any prns ! oc enthusiast
⠀. . . ☆ the character in my icon and profile decor is my own oc, please don't use these assets!
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 01:34 (9 Years ago)
*Raises hand*
Just be careful with making characters that you know before-hand. When I do that, they lean to become Mary-Sues/Gary-Stews. Hope this helps!
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 01:45 (9 Years ago)
⠀⠀⠀
⠀call me ender/victor/damie(n) ! she/any prns ! oc enthusiast
⠀. . . ☆ the character in my icon and profile decor is my own oc, please don't use these assets!
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 01:48 (9 Years ago)
Okay! I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to do what I did and had to scrap the whole project. X3
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 01:52 (9 Years ago)
Anyway... I feel like I'm spamming XD
⠀⠀⠀
⠀call me ender/victor/damie(n) ! she/any prns ! oc enthusiast
⠀. . . ☆ the character in my icon and profile decor is my own oc, please don't use these assets!
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 01:59 (9 Years ago)
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 02:40 (9 Years ago)
Username: Neverlight
What I am looking for here: Critique, Ideas, Things of that nature
A sample of my Writing: A portion of a story I am writing
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I stood behind the one way glass,
watching the young man in the room. On the desk in front of me sat
a file, labeled, CONFIDENTIAL: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. Below that were
the words that had caused so many so much grief. Project Awoken. I
stared at the boy in the room, trussed up in a straightjacket and
chained to the floor. He didn’t look like anything special. Just an
average teenager. Snatching up the top file, I flipped it open to
the first page.
Project Awoken: Subject 1911
Project Name: Kinderfusser
Birth Name: Derrick Souza
Current Alias: SK
As I read the door of the interrogation room opened. Glancing up, I saw two officers enter. They would be the ones to try and get information out of the kid. If he had any accomplices and such. My eyes wandered back to the page. As I skimmed the boys brief history section, I could hear the senior officer begin speaking. "Why'd ya... Why'd ya do it kid?" A long pause. The other officer stood in the corner behind the boy, his arms crossed, and a look of barely contained rage on his face. The Senior rubbed his face, apparently trying to focus himself before continuing. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" The chains clinked as he raised his head, staring directly into the officer's eyes. Then he began to laugh. A sick, twisted, psychotic laugh filled with villainous glee. Shivers ran down my spine like you wouldn't believe. It felt like my heart was seizing up, and ice ran through my veins. The younger cop slammed a fist on the table. "You sick bastard!" He cried. "Because of you, dozens of families are at the cemetery. You are the most vile piece of scum I have ever had to deal with!" The boy sighed, a wide smirk stretching across his face. "Oh you think I'm bad do you? You don't even know the meaning of the word! Just wait till you meet "The Scissor Witch." Now there's one bad bitch. And that's saying something, coming from me." He glanced up at the clock. "Would you look at that? 19:11. Sorry boys, but I really must be going." The Senior glared at him. "What are you talking about kid? You're not going anywhere for a long t-" There was a flash of movement, and the walls were painted red. The kid had managed to cut himself free of the jacket with a beautiful, ornate letter opener. How had he even gotten that?! The senior officer clutched at his throat, which now sported a large red smile. The other man fell back in shock as blood spurted out of the wound. The boy moved fast, plunging the blade into his heart. Pulling it back out, he swung several more times at whatever hallucinations his schizophrenic mind had conjured up, as both officers lay dying. The one with the slit throat began to gag and sputter, as blood drained into his lungs, drowning him. I stood in shock, unable to process what had just happened. The boy turned to look me dead in the eye. Somehow, he knew I was in here. He grinned wildly, placing his blood soaked hands against the glass. "Tell everyone what you saw here. Make them fear us. For we are Awoken. And we're coming for you."
Project Awoken: Subject 1911
Project Name: Kinderfusser
Birth Name: Derrick Souza
Current Alias: SK
As I read the door of the interrogation room opened. Glancing up, I saw two officers enter. They would be the ones to try and get information out of the kid. If he had any accomplices and such. My eyes wandered back to the page. As I skimmed the boys brief history section, I could hear the senior officer begin speaking. "Why'd ya... Why'd ya do it kid?" A long pause. The other officer stood in the corner behind the boy, his arms crossed, and a look of barely contained rage on his face. The Senior rubbed his face, apparently trying to focus himself before continuing. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" The chains clinked as he raised his head, staring directly into the officer's eyes. Then he began to laugh. A sick, twisted, psychotic laugh filled with villainous glee. Shivers ran down my spine like you wouldn't believe. It felt like my heart was seizing up, and ice ran through my veins. The younger cop slammed a fist on the table. "You sick bastard!" He cried. "Because of you, dozens of families are at the cemetery. You are the most vile piece of scum I have ever had to deal with!" The boy sighed, a wide smirk stretching across his face. "Oh you think I'm bad do you? You don't even know the meaning of the word! Just wait till you meet "The Scissor Witch." Now there's one bad bitch. And that's saying something, coming from me." He glanced up at the clock. "Would you look at that? 19:11. Sorry boys, but I really must be going." The Senior glared at him. "What are you talking about kid? You're not going anywhere for a long t-" There was a flash of movement, and the walls were painted red. The kid had managed to cut himself free of the jacket with a beautiful, ornate letter opener. How had he even gotten that?! The senior officer clutched at his throat, which now sported a large red smile. The other man fell back in shock as blood spurted out of the wound. The boy moved fast, plunging the blade into his heart. Pulling it back out, he swung several more times at whatever hallucinations his schizophrenic mind had conjured up, as both officers lay dying. The one with the slit throat began to gag and sputter, as blood drained into his lungs, drowning him. I stood in shock, unable to process what had just happened. The boy turned to look me dead in the eye. Somehow, he knew I was in here. He grinned wildly, placing his blood soaked hands against the glass. "Tell everyone what you saw here. Make them fear us. For we are Awoken. And we're coming for you."
Other:#963683527 (Is this what you wanted?)
Welcome To The Family
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 09:20 (9 Years ago)
It's not very great and has a tone of mistakes, but I gave it my best shot. Hope it's readable..
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A pokemon fusion is a strange and rare occurrence. Mostly it happens when two pokemon from different egg groups breed, but sometimes even that isn't the cause.
However in my case, it was the different egg groups. Being born different is definitely hard, but at least I'm alive. My siblings died before they hatched.
That's why I think I'm lucky; no I'm very lucky. I have loving and supporting parents, a scary Haunter and a powerful Venusaur, I managed to evolve once, strangely only my Bulbasaur features changed, and I have a few friends. Not to mention I don't need to worry about being caught, no one would want a pokemon like me!
Not that I'm no good in battle, having both ghost and grass types, my move set is one to be reckoned with. I have won not two or three battles, my evolution just proves it. I wonder if I'll evolve again..
Most of my Ivysaur friends already have evolved, and I've noticed that I have to work twice as hard to reach the same goals as them. The same thing happened when they evolved the first time. But I won't let that get me down, I'm simply special, so I need to work specially hard!
Like anyone else, I have a dream and that's to mega evolve. Both my mother and father are from the few species that can reach this goal. But nether did, that's why I have to, I have twice as much potential for it!
I heard that to mega evolve you need a trainer to love you, have a special bond. If that turns out to be true, then I'll find a one. They'll like me the way I am and I'll return the love tenfold. We'll be an unstoppable team.
Just you watch, I'll make it all happen, because I'm special, I'm a pokemon fusion!
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 12:19 (9 Years ago)
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 12:26 (9 Years ago)
Posted: Sun, 09/08/2015 12:52 (9 Years ago)
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A pokemon fusion is a strange and rare
occurrence. Mostly it happens when two pokemon from different egg
groups breed, but sometimes even that isn't the cause.
However in my case, it was the different egg groups. Being born different is definitely hard, but at least I'm alivewas born. My siblings died
before they hatched.
That's why I think I'm lucky,; no I'm very lucky. I have loving and
supporting parents, a scary Haunter and a powerful Venusaur, I
managed to evolve once, strangely only my Bbulbasaur features changed, and I have
a few friends. Not to mention I don't need to worry about being
caught, no one would want a pokemon like me!
Not that I'm no good in battle, having both ghost and grass types, my move set is one to be reckoned with. I have won not two or three battles, my evolution just proves it. I wonder if I'll evolve again..
Most of my Ivysaur friends already have already evolved, and, I've noticed that
I have to work twice as hard to reach the same goals as them. The
same thing happened when they evolved the first time. But I won't
let that get me down, I'm simply special, so I need to work
specially hard!
Like anyone else, I have a dream and that's to mega evolve. Both my mother and father are from the few species that can reach this goal. But nether did, that's why I have to, and now I have twice as much potential for it!
I heard that to mega evolve you need a trainer to love you, have a special bond. If that turns out to be true, then I'll find a one. They'll like me the way I am and I'll return the love tenfold. We'll be an unstoppable team.
Just you watch, I'll make it all happen, because I'm special, I'm a pokemon fusion!
However in my case, it was the different egg groups. Being born different is definitely hard, but at least I'm alive
That's why I think I'm lucky
Not that I'm no good in battle, having both ghost and grass types, my move set is one to be reckoned with. I have won not two or three battles, my evolution just proves it. I wonder if I'll evolve again..
Most of my Ivysaur friends already have already evolved, and
Like anyone else, I have a dream and that's to mega evolve. Both my mother and father are from the few species that can reach this goal. But nether did, that's why I have to, and now I have twice as much potential for it!
I heard that to mega evolve you need a trainer to love you, have a special bond. If that turns out to be true, then I'll find a one. They'll like me the way I am and I'll return the love tenfold. We'll be an unstoppable team.
Just you watch, I'll make it all happen, because I'm special, I'm a pokemon fusion!