When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker
for theft. I couldn’t believe he could do such a thing, but when I
got home, the signs were all there.
There was actually one time where the clock in the first class was
broken. My teacher told my friend to bring it to the office. People
in the hallway kept asking him what he was doing, he told them he
was time travelling.
There was actually one time where the clock in the first class was
broken. My teacher told my friend to bring it to the office. People
in the hallway kept asking him what he was doing, he told them he
was time travelling.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole
in one
I got hit in the head with a can of Coke today. Don’t worry, I’m
not hurt. It was a soft drink.
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go
over people’s heads.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When
the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I
don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
There’s a reason why I don’t trust stairs, they are always up to
something…
Does an egg from the royal tunnel break my chain?
R.I.P. boiled water, you will be mist
Person1: what is the difference between the shower curtain and the
toilet paper?
Person2: I don’t know
Person1: so it was you!
I’ve been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing. The
neighbors keep demanding that I put it back.
If a child refuses to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a
rest?
My dad told me to go to the store and get 6 cans of sprite, by the
time I got home I realized I picked 7 up.
I wanted to eat healthy, but every time I look at that chocolate
bar it snickers.
What do u call a belt with some watches? A waist of time.
How rare is it to get a shiny in rumble, I see that my Pokémon has
a recruit vulpine with a star