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puppy's diary
Forum-Index → Diaries → puppy's diary
Posted: Thu, 26/09/2024 18:30 (2 Months ago)
Reiji/Leslie/Towa/Jiwoon ⋄ they/them ⋄ 20+
Please don't post here.
I am a very private person, so while I might
not want to share all my daily thoughts and
general information, I can talk about my
interests and things that don't necessarily
connect itself to me. Do it in moderation,
I'd say.
I don't watch anime or read manga often.
I don't watch tv shows that much either.
I only play videogames sometimes.
I love books and reading but I've found
myself unable to sit down and properly
read something to the end.
I really like military stuff and hot cocoa.
I love eating pasta. My favorite fruit is
mango. My favorite animals are snakes.
I've always been fond of writing, so I
might use this diary to write a lot of
stuff. I'm not really into PH as a game
anymore so none of that record
keeping endeavours. I'm here to
get my mind off things.
Posted: Thu, 26/09/2024 20:35 (2 Months ago)
Posted: Wed, 02/10/2024 01:01 (1 Month ago)
Recently I bought a physical copy of the r/nosleep story Penpal. It is my favourite story. I've also noticed that there are a lot of new details in the physical version of the book and I think it's worth writing down my newly-formed thoughts based on the new information. It is on theme with the story's narrative of figuring things out as you unearth past memories with new context. I'll keep updating this post with my review of each chapters. If you haven't read the story yet, I suggest you make some time to read it. The reddit version can be found here.
My general review of the story is that it's a good commentary on the disturbing reality of how helpless children are to trauma. The perspective of a child not understanding how the life they've lived is not normal and only realizing it years later when their memories finally resurface. Things that didn't seem to connect eventually pieced themselves together like a grandmother's quilt, forming either a blanket of safety or hostility and in the case of the story; both. Adults fail the children around them, whether through their actions or lack of them even if they've tried their best. Parents that tries their best to give their children a good life but fail to and it doesn't necessarily have to be of their own doing.
mild spoiler continuation of review
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My interest in true crime taught me one thing; to focus on the tragedy instead of the perpetrator. It is not about 'how could someone do this', but about the experiences that were lived. All that to say, I am drawn to the monster in the story due to its fictional nature and for the lack of a better word, love for the author. I remember how sick I felt when things were revealed and I'd like to think of myself as a hardened person. I consume horror and disturbing media religiously but something about following the story along and realizing what it all led to, felt like unwrapping a gift of a rotten carcass by your door. The present was neatly wrapped and I had unraveled each layers with great intrigue, even when I knew what was to be found when I finally opened the box.
Chapter 1: Footsteps
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I remember listening to this chapter,
the kind of intrigue that it filled me with. It's hard to imagine
that this was supposed to be a standalone piece by the author, a
one-shot that wouldn't have became what it is now. There were a lot
of circumstances that led to this book's creation and so was me
encountering it. I'm truly grateful for each of the step it went
through to reach me.
This will be a common occurrence as I continue the review but reading things in a new light after knowing everything is truly something special. Especially when the physical book I am reading had many new sentences that added to the already brilliant story. Unlike the web version, Dathan took more time to get out of the woods. It also showed just how close he is to his mother and gave more insight to his family dynamics. It's obvious that the father is not in the picture so instead his grandfather made an appearance in the chapter, filling in that role but only for a brief moment over the phone.
"How far can you go into the woods?"
"What?"
"How far can you go into the woods?" I repeated knowingly, though I knew nothing at all.
"Oh. Well, I suppose about halfway," he said, snickering.
"What? How come you could only go halfway?"
And then, as if he had been waiting waiting for this moment his entire life, he bellowed:
"Because if I went any farther, I'd be coming out!"
This will be a common occurrence as I continue the review but reading things in a new light after knowing everything is truly something special. Especially when the physical book I am reading had many new sentences that added to the already brilliant story. Unlike the web version, Dathan took more time to get out of the woods. It also showed just how close he is to his mother and gave more insight to his family dynamics. It's obvious that the father is not in the picture so instead his grandfather made an appearance in the chapter, filling in that role but only for a brief moment over the phone.
"How far can you go into the woods?"
"What?"
"How far can you go into the woods?" I repeated knowingly, though I knew nothing at all.
"Oh. Well, I suppose about halfway," he said, snickering.
"What? How come you could only go halfway?"
And then, as if he had been waiting waiting for this moment his entire life, he bellowed:
"Because if I went any farther, I'd be coming out!"
Posted: Thu, 03/10/2024 10:48 (1 Month ago)
Posted: Sun, 13/10/2024 19:27 (1 Month ago)
I got this two years ago but I love it so much...
Maybe on my bday this year I'll print this out to cherish my friend.
Posted: Thu, 17/10/2024 05:43 (1 Month ago)
I'm sure a lot of things I'm fascinated with by Dandadan has been done in other stories, it's nothing new, etc, but this is what I personally think. I love the voice acting and jokes, it's definitely up my style to have plenty of humor and then a few serious moments cutting in. I think that's my favourite type of stories, not necessarily comedy but something that flows naturally enough with its humor. A comparison I can make with my limited library is Mob Psycho 100. Something about a story that doesn't take itself seriously all the time always reel me in, just like LISA.
I've never been into the occult or supernatural so that aspect of the story didn't attract me at all but it's not like I dislike or hate it. I still love it for what it is and I can't wait for the next episodes! Waiting for episodes week by week is fun :) I just wish that my bestie didn't think the anime looked ugly so we could watch it together...
Also, it's free to watch on youtube, subs and all, legally. I'd recommend it but the first episode can be uncomfortable. Compared to normal fanservice in animes that I've seen, I don't think it's bad, just uncomfortable.
Posted: Wed, 23/10/2024 14:37 (1 Month ago)
Watched the entirety of season 1 for Mashle: Magic and Muscles last night (till this morning). I actually don't quite like the binge-watching culture but there's Dandadan to fill that hole for me as I wait patiently for its next release week by week. If I want to absorb an entire series in one sitting, I'd watch a movie, you know? There's also no time to digest what you just watched and it doesn't let your mind linger to the various art and effort put into each episodes. Still, despite all that, I did stay up all night to watch it. I wouldn't say I regret it but I should take better care of this shared body.
As for my actual thoughts so far, the anime is right up my alley. I love well done parodies, but as the backbone of all parodies are comedy, it's subject to whether or not a person would find the references and jokes funny and I surely did. I mean, I didn't burst out laughing but I wasn't bored or anything. If something is well written enough I wouldn't even care and continue to watch even if I can predict all the plot points. I'm not super into shonens- obviously I'm not the target audience but I think it's well-paced and I didn't skip the action scenes. I'll watch season 2 gradually, I don't want to binge watch and call it a day again.
Some of my thoughts that came to me while writing and mulling it over is that I'm definitely a person that likes an unserious story in a serious world(?). Despite all the gags and jokes, the themes and storyline is very obviously about fascism and overcoming it through acceptance. There's also the minor theme of self-realization that you can be a good person. It's an idealized view and it's definitely a fantasy, but people do go into fiction as an escape, it gives you hope even in this made up story.
I mentioned LISA the last time too but it's such a perfect but extreme example of what I'm talking about when I say I love these kinds of story. It's set in a horrible, disturbing world while telling the story of generational trauma both literally and philosophically- but there's so much dry, dark humor and general silliness that distracted you until it no longer does. It's just like real life. No matter what you do, you will get a bad ending, the weight of your trauma and deeds weighing you down. You're not a good person, you were shaped into the man you are not just because of what you went through but because you lacked the strength to break the cycle. Even if you try to do good, the end that awaits you will always be the same. The journey that you went through to reach that ending is what matters, even if your fate was already set in stone. Maybe even I'm destined to have a sad, lonely end where I will not be held and loved the way I wanted to, but at least I tried.
Posted: Sun, 27/10/2024 12:18 (1 Month ago)
Posted: Sun, 27/10/2024 22:55 (1 Month ago)
God gives me a painful life so he can give me good gacha luck... I'm going to (try) roll for Acheron e2 but if I lose the 50/50 I'll get Sunday and skip Fugue. I've been doing well using Boothill with Bronya/Ruan Mei/flex and then Rappa with HTB/flex/flex so I won't be needing her. Then I don't think I'm rolling for anyone else? Maybe Herta and the eventual Screwllum (hopium) but I'm definitely pulling for Jiaoqiu rerun for Acheron. My wife. I love my wife.
Also I have like, 60 pity in weapon banner because I was trying to get As Charmony Falls for Rappa. I only got up to r2 though and I don't wanna risk it for the biscuit because I don't really want/need their LC since I don't love them THAT much. That being said, that Yunli LC was for my Clara, she's on e4 and I love my daughter.
Oh I'm a they/she Rappa truther btw. Nobody will stop me.
Posted: Tue, 29/10/2024 10:58 (29 Days ago)
HSR ID: 805370353
I have e0s1 Black Swan, e1s1 Ruan Mei and e1s0 4k Def Aventurine support.
This will be a tangent of paragraphs with very little connection other than that of my chaotic cognition that could relate something like 'eldritch horror' to 'life after death and what it means to live'. For one, HSR is definitely my favourite of the Hoyoverse games, though I was there for Genshin on day 1, the limitations of my hardware had prevented me to continue playing it. I still try to play it using the cloud gaming app but it limits my playtime to less than 30 minutes per day unless I want to burn through my free credits. I don't have much connection to the story or characters either. If you asked me for my favourite genshin character, I couldn't answer you immediately because I'd take my time considering what is my first answer. None of them is really my type and the one I do like the most, Freminet, is due to a sense of familiarity and relatability.
To this day I still cannot swim, but one of my fantasies is to dive deep into the deepsea with newfound gills and the physical ability to be in such depths. Perhaps like a siren that is meant to live in the darkness, with a large body due to the lack of natural predators and to just swim endlessly with my only worries of being food and shelter.
Halfway through I felt self-conscious that I'm writing words upon words without purpose or reason than to let things out. Nobody will read these, I'm not that interesting. But if art was created with only an audience in mind, is it truly an expression of yourself? The first audience that you must present to is the one etching these words into history. Even if not a single living soul find my words interesting or my very self at all significant, let it still be known I have once existed and that I had my own thoughts and lived experiences.
To end this entry, my favourite thing about HSR is the story— the worldbuilding, the concept and the lives of those in it. Genshin bores me to death, not to mention Paimon gets on my nerves and so to have the Trailblazer, you, be the source of chaos and silliness felt refreshing because it is of your own accord. The choices still don't matter but an illusion of it is still present and you could do worse sins than that. I like Simulated Universe the most as well as the geniuses working on it, that's why I can't wait for Screwllum.