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Forum Thread

Munkiki's diary

Forum-Index → Diaries → Munkiki's diary
Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Mon, 20/02/2023 13:18 (1 Year ago)
This is my attempt at a diary, I'm not sure how it's going to go though

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sat, 04/03/2023 11:22 (1 Year ago)

Title: 4/3/2023

Hullo! Just realised I forgot about this. I’m quite worried because my best friends birthday is in 9 days and I love her /p but I have no idea what to get her and now I’m worried and feel really guilty. She’s always listens to me rant about my special interests but rarely talks about her own :(

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sun, 05/03/2023 15:44 (1 Year ago)

Title: 5/3/2023

I’m going to do my best friends gift then work of my Mother’s Day gift for a bit then might write some fanfics - I went into town and got some sunstone, lavender calcite and more as well as sweets and a purple unicorn squishy =D I’m happy

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Tue, 07/03/2023 13:46 (1 Year ago)

Title: 07/03/2023

I've got gardening club later! I get to make a poster - I'm excited.

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Wed, 08/03/2023 17:36 (1 Year ago)

Title: 08/03/2023

I’m really struggling feeling comfortable in my own skin today - it’s very annoying. Why can’t I just be happy? Or Normal? We had the morning off of school today because of the snow and I went and help my wood work teacher with some chores.

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Fri, 10/03/2023 12:25 (1 Year ago)

Title: 10/03/2023

My ankle is playing up today and it really hurts so I'm struggling to go to my lessons but I've also been told off for missing too many sciences but I need to go to my other lessons. it's been fairly stressful but I survived so far..?

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sun, 12/03/2023 15:43 (1 Year ago)

Title: 12/03/2023

I kinda wish I was in more role plays and my shinx hunt chain is at 86 which is a tad annoying

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Mon, 13/03/2023 19:12 (1 Year ago)

Title: 13/03/2023

My shinx chain is over 100 and I have to keep a diary of when I get dizzy from standing up in case my mom has to call the doctor so now I’m worried. They might make me take medicine or tell me to drink more. Neither of which am I any good at - I might keep track of the daily overalls on here.

Today’s dizzy spells that I can remember: 1 (around 7pm)

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Wed, 15/03/2023 13:40 (1 Year ago)

Title: 15/03/2023

Yesterday I got dizzy once and today (so far) I’ve gone dizzy twice :)

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Thu, 16/03/2023 09:33 (1 Year ago)

Title: 16/03/2023


Name: Silver
Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage
10:20 - went dizzy again
And 2-3 times after that
Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Fri, 17/03/2023 14:22 (1 Year ago)
I had therapy today D:

I got to talk about my proudest moments tho :)

Now I get to chill on YouTube and PH while my friends are in school
Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sun, 19/03/2023 08:59 (1 Year ago)
It’s mother’s day and I got up at 4:30am because I couldn’t sleep. I’m exhausted and I’ve gone dizzy 3 times before 9am (i have drunk)

Went dizzy approx 5 times in my bath (felt like i was about to pass out approx 2 times)

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Mon, 20/03/2023 12:25 (1 Year ago)

Title: 20/03/2023

I have gone dizzy 1 time so far today and I have IT exam last period. I saw some lovely crystals today (in science) if i remember I will link them :)

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Fri, 24/03/2023 16:17 (1 Year ago)

Title: 24/03/2023

Today was a fire bell. IN THE F***ING RAIN

We got to go home at 12:30


Just calculated and since 14th March I have gone dizzy approximately 19 times - moms gonna call the doctor on Monday hopefully
What I was doing (what I remember):
Resting head on desk x1 (today..? In English)
Getting up from bed x?
Bath x5?
Shower x?
Gotten up from chair x?
Walking around x?

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sat, 15/04/2023 09:24 (1 Year ago)

Title: 15/04/2023

*screams and cries* I'm fine :) I just hate ever fibre of my being right now

I have to take mom's bp cuff to school and i'm dreading it bc its so dam loud :/

I'm scared... help?

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sat, 15/04/2023 11:04 (1 Year ago)
My head feels like it's shrinking, i want to pass out and i have far too much to do, i dont have time for health. I'm told to stand slowly, i dont have the time! too much to do, too little time. too much overwhelm, too little managing. I want to scream but i cant. I want to cry but i cant AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sun, 23/04/2023 19:40 (1 Year ago)

Title: 23/04/2023

"How are you?"
I'm not good enough. Why did I ever think I was good enough? I'm pathetic, can't do anything right. I'm useless. I couldn't protect anyone if their life depended on it. My body is disgusting and weak. It looks better bleeding or injured. I can't do anything correctly even if my life depended on it. I'm going to fail my GSCEs because I'm so stupid. ARGH! I hate myself so flipping much it's almost comical. Nah idc if you hate me or not, I hate me enough for both of us lmao. help? I'm crazy, I belong in a mental institute. I don't have enough braincells to let me remember what I did more than like 3 hours prior! I'm so pathetically weak I get blown over by the wind. Why am I never good enough? What's wrong with me?
"Oh, I'm fine :) you?"

I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. Yes you are. Stop lying. YOu lie to everyone around you including yourself. Stop it. You are crazy in a negative way.


I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. Yes you are. Stop lying. YOu lie to everyone around you including yourself. Stop it. You are a monster.


Here's a day Inside my mind (apparently on a relapse day). First and last time I'm doing this. Sorry. Enjoy your day if ur reading this. No Munkiki's were hurt in the making of this, huge achievement!

This was likely triggered by finding out my grandad caught covid. Which although is a large anxiety trigger, was not the sole reason of today's relapse.

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Thu, 04/05/2023 19:10 (1 Year ago)

Title: 4/5/23

Thank you JJLA008


Money: 503,420

Only time I will have this much </3

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Munkiki
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sat, 06/05/2023 19:30 (1 Year ago)
Why can't my brain just shut up? It's annoying and loud. I'm bored. Help. hehe >:D
I'm so switchy it's annoying, I've blocked emotion but now i seem sarcastic/sassy
Brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
This hurts. My brain is hurting my head, it's not powering off. Help me? I'm scared
I want to peel of my skin or gouge my nails into my skin and watch the blood trickle.
I don't like blood or pain. But it'd be satisfying? lmao you can't do anything. hahaha
They'd judge you, you're pathetic and useless. the cogs are going to fast. help?
ones gonna burst out of place!

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Munkiki
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 93
Posted: Sat, 13/05/2023 11:49 (1 Year ago)
Yeah I’m fine.

Final straw
I am not ok
Never doing what I’m supposed to be doing
Eternally stressed/overwhelmed

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