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Forum Thread

Dead Corpse [CREEPYPASTA]

Forum-Index Fanmades Fanfictions Dead Corpse [CREEPYPASTA]
Remilia-Scarlet
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Trainerlevel: 28

Forum Posts: 238
Posted: Sat, 20/12/2014 13:19 (9 Years ago)
One day from graveyard was a man walking alone.
Ghosts are real, Don't believe it?
He seen a white girl crying blood.
''Why you're crying blood?'' He said.
The girl creepily screamed and disapeared.
''I did not expect this to happen'' He said.
A spider apeared which attacked the Man and he lost one of his eyes.
''Ouch!''
Everything he sees got blinder.
There was house he did go into it to see what's in.
Man walked down the stairs to basement.
There was door to basement.
He opened it and there was another.
He looked at it.
A speech he heard ''Who are you...?''
He looked at the girl who said it.
''I am human!'' Man said it.
The girl attacked the man and cut it's head off.
The human was dead.
She hanged herself.
And wasn't seen again...

This is my second creepypasta and please say if it's good or bad.
Thunder_God
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Trainerlevel: 17

Forum Posts: 29
Posted: Sat, 20/12/2014 13:29 (9 Years ago)
Good:D

Name: ~
eisner
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Trainerlevel: 38

Forum Posts: 1,615
Posted: Sat, 20/12/2014 13:31 (9 Years ago)
Oh my,

It's okay I guess.I give it an 8/10

Now, I'd say that's a task well taken care of! Uh… were you expecting something more?
SandeviRae
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Trainerlevel: 32

Forum Posts: 996
Posted: Sun, 21/12/2014 22:13 (9 Years ago)
Eh, I would work on fixing the grammar a bit more
It's not really creepy as much as completely random
Try to add more detail, emotion, and suspence
I honestly would rate it a 6/10
Better then some I've seen, but it's no masterpiece
Keep working on it :3
japendix
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Trainerlevel: 18

Forum Posts: 25
Posted: Mon, 02/03/2015 19:46 (9 Years ago)
I see this more as like a song.