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Omnia OFFLINE   Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Fri, 08/12/2017 20:23 (6 Years ago) |
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felix was eliminated. WELP. so much for stray kids debut. rip my dreams //pls feel free to ignore this random post ahahah [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Mon, 04/12/2017 10:10 (6 Years ago) |
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Honey, it doesn't mean jack that there could've been someone else, that there was a chance you didn't exist, that you didn't do what you did to get where you are now. It doesn't mean anything. Because there was a chance that anything that led up to this never happened, but you're sitting right here anyway. Just remember that so many people worry about time travel and how changing one little thing could radically change the future, but no one in the present believes they could do something so seemingly insignificant and change the world as you know it in the future. Yeah, maybe you don't deserve happiness. Who deserves that even? I wouldn't know. But you deserve peace of mind, you deserve rationality, you deserve a chance, and sometimes that's really all you need. One more chance, one more percent. It matters. [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Wed, 29/11/2017 09:19 (6 Years ago) |
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Barbie: Princess and the Pauper has a song that speaks to transgender people and I'm forever screaming about this and singing it to my trans friends. [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Thu, 16/11/2017 10:00 (7 Years ago) |
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i'm glad i woke up. [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Mon, 23/10/2017 05:52 (7 Years ago) |
 Despair is anger with no place to go. @me: ye I promise to fix this whole diary soon but it's not like anyone except you reads it and it's a you-place anyway and... you can't do cool graphic stuff to spruce it up and that's ok. ok? OK. [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Wed, 11/10/2017 13:59 (7 Years ago) |
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It's one of those moments when everyone is asleep and I'm just crying my entire soul out. I just went back to that really old poem of mine; there's a part of me wondering how I could ever have written something that expresses such a silly feeble hope of mine. I don't know how to act anymore around old friends out of fear that they'll leave me. They'd have every right to. I want to scream but I know I shouldn't and I can't. Looks like it's going to be another night letting salt accumulate on my pillow. My chest is actually dramatically tight and it's hard to breathe and hold the loud annoying sobs in. AHAHAAHAHAHAH all I ever wanted to be was not to lie when I say I'm okay and I'm fine. Yet a lot about me has changed and that's the only thing that more or less didn't. I'm so sorry. I'm so freaking sorry. I thought I could do it alone but I'm too weak to do it. I want to ask for help but I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be a burden more than I already am. And those times, when I wanted to die so badly, I was too cowardly to do it. Because I'm really messed up; because I don't want anyone to get hurt if I did stop breathing; because my relief isn't worth another weight on someone's shoulders. If that freaking pill that killed you without anyone ever finding out existed, I would take it and I wouldn't say sorry because I'm a selfish little ****. I just found this bipolar sheet on tumblr and even though it's hardly related i remembered Nastya crying over the anorexia tag on tumblr which led to me remembering about crying during that time when I came across a link on mental help dad came in while i was typing this and ii was almost crying and i had to stop right in the middle and pretend i was fine and he started on about how i'm not doing my homework again and i DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO OKAY I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE NO FREAKING MOTIVATION AND I'M SO STUPID fudge fudge consarn it all what the freaking hell is even wrong with me I'M SORRY OKAY I'M SORRY I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT THESE STUPID EMOTIONS OR ELSE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING I'M SO FREAKING SORRY edit: wishing i wasn't me wishing i didn't have feelings wishing i nevr existed wishing wishing wishing wishing wishing WHAT IS THE POINT OF CRYING ANYMORE STOP CRYING STOP CRYING DAD'S IN THE OTHER ROOM AND HE MIGHT WALK IN THE MIDDLE OF IT JUST STOP JUST STOP FEELING HOW HARD IS THAT WHY CAN'T YOU BE NORMAL i'm a mess again no surprises there. earlier and for a moment, I was wondering what would happen if I swallowed all my vitamin pills at the same time. This was probably just a silly, stupid notion because I doubt I'd die. probably will just puke all of them out because the body rejects the stuff or something. Part of me just wants help so badly but the majority is winning out and telling me that I probably don't even deserve it + I shouldn't burden people. ahahahahahah i'm so screwed. i'm selfish and i'm a coward. some things just don't ever change. when you don't know what to do first because you're out of time this day and it's pretty much goodbye for real. i'm really not sure how long i've been crying but yeah. i'm going to miss everything and everyone. wondering how long i'll last. clinging to that last sliver of hope that they might change their mind. i'm just being my overdramatic self again, haha. maybe this is really for the best. or maybe i'm going to be gone by the end of this year. i don't know what's relief anymore. blasting music in my ears to help numb everything. but either way what's the point in internally screaming for help when nobody can actually save me from myself, right? what a joke i am. okay miserable day whoop-de-do but i kinda wanna rant. to those people who shake their head at internet relationships: **** you. these "fake online friends" saved me from taking my lifeline into my own hands. you have no right to judge me for having online friends i love so much. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE MY CHOICES IN MY LIFE AT ALL. For a long time (probably four years now?) I've been not okay at all and I've tried to avoid putting a label on it because it feels wrong to self-diagnose (and tbh, it really is wrong.) I decided to look through mental disorders again and I'm seriously wondering if I do have some form of bipolar depression. It feels kind of offensive to even think it though, since I actually am acquainted with someone who's been diagnosed with it and just... I dunno. I feel bad trying to pin this all on a mental disorder when it might in fact just be and my effed up psyche. 23 March, 2016 - 10:45 PM Well, I can mark this as the first time I ever cried when it was hours before my birthday. i didn't want to post anything depressing af anymore here (am i allowed to use af on ph forums i'm not sure crud) but it's been a long year and i'm a burden and all my friends are moving on w/ their lives while i'm busy being a burden and useless bahahaha crud i'm pathetic. [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Sat, 30/07/2016 06:41 (8 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Thu, 07/07/2016 09:48 (8 Years ago) |
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Witnessing the angry look aimed at the other two, Rani felt herself hesitate and wonder if she had walked in on the worst possible moment. Even so, there wasn't much she could do about it in her current position. Straying eyes regarded the two males curiously for the breadth of a second before being averted. It was never polite to stare, and of all people Rani hated being pitied. Ultimately, she refrained from commenting. "I hail from Vacuo as well, but I was raised in Mistral," she said, her standard measured tone overcoming her anxieties for the moment. The small line that formed a bridge between her eyes was the only indication Rani was thinking. It flattened and smoothed out a moment afterwards. "I'm at my best when working from afar. My weapon relies a lot on accuracy, and I don't hold up well against close-ranged attacks... but I believe you might have come to that conclusion already. The explosion on the airship did quite a number on me." As fleeting as the smile was, it was hard to miss the solid exhaustion etched in it. "I've been told I'm arguably good at reading people, but I'm terrible at understanding. Communication in general is a bit problematic." Her cheeks were suddenly injected with color, and her tone turned faintly apologetic. "Er, I have almost no qualms on being unsportsmanlike if necessary. I daresay my Semblance encourages it." Clearly flustered, Rani abashedly fished out a few black buttons from her skirt's pocket. She closed her fist around them for several seconds then splayed her fingers. The buttons shot out as blurs and frolicked about in the space in front of her. "I can move and interact with things after touching them. It doesn't work on living things, as far as I'm aware, and works well with gravity and air Dust." Holding her hand out again, the brunette watched as the buttons dropped back into it. "Contrary to what may be assumed, I can move efficiently and briskly enough." She ran a critical glance down her own getup, pursed her lips, and rolled up her sleeves to expose the gleaming metal braced against her forearms. "The usual transforming paraphernalia fad," she summarized. Arms returning to their original positions at her side, she leaned back against the nearest wall. Dust, she was tired and feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. "I'm good at improvising, keeping my mouth shut, and cooking. I get easily emotionally compromised, become too focused on the future, and can't be straightforward to save my life." Mentally, Rani was doing her best to shrink into herself. Did she talk too much? Did she say anything irrelevant? Were some of her words utterly unnecessary? Worrying her lip till she tasted blood, she resisted the urge to add anything else. Though she had half a mind to mention that she was good at picking pockets, but that would be another secret out in the open. How was she even sure she could trust these people? Yep, she was being a complete worrywart again. All of a sudden she found her boots very fascinating. [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Sat, 02/07/2016 21:10 (8 Years ago) |
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Despite her immediate misgivings, Rani sensibly reasoned that it would be a terrible first impression if she stalled any longer. It didn't seem he was going to listen to any protests if his tone was anything to go by, ergo she wordlessly shambled after him. Besides, she was inquisitively curious about the mug the professor was carrying. What was even in it? The blood in her ears had settled down to a dull, unpleasant throb. Needless to say, the brunette was relieved. Noises of a higher frequency still didn't sit well with her, but those were scarce along their path to the dorms. Even as she registered this fortunate outcome, her hands began to expertly navigate through the bedlam that was her hair. She might as well take advantage of her clearer head and extra time to appear at least somewhat presentable. Invested in her endeavor in every respect, Rani found the short exchange between Ozpin and Josh rather convenient. If it wasn't already obvious, she clearly wasn't too keen on speaking in general. Her hands had just dropped back to her sides with her long sleeves fluttering down with them when Ozpin turned back to her. "Your team, Team Orange, is in room 106. I hope you'll get along with your team." Her only response was an uncertain nod. She bit back the swirling flood of her questions: How many would-be students died? What happened on the ship? Is it really a mix up or were switches needed to make up for the lack of students? How does the school pick teams and their names? What is in that mug? It was times like these when she wished she could dredge up a fragment of courage to speak, to give her never-ending curiosity a chance, to not be so crippled by her fear of her own kind. She wondered when that day would come. Homesty time: Rani delayed as much as she could on the very short trip down the hall. Maybe she couldn't halt the inevitable, but she could at least attempt to brace herself for it. Faced with the door of room 106, she swallowed back her nausea and tried to bite down the apprehension that was harrassing her at the last moment. With one last self-conscious check on her fishtail braided updo and her rumpled clothes, she turned the knob and took her first, wary step inside. As a disclaimer, Rani wasn't the type to swear. But the situation she just walked into was the kind where swearing mentally was a bit of a no brainer, and she did exactly that. Her grey eyes swept over the three other people inside tentatively. There was the girl in purple and white; Rani made a mental note that aggravating that one felt like a terrible idea. The guy in red and black sported horns and was no doubt a Faunus; she didn't fail to note that doors probably did not like him. Blue and grey identified the other one, and she couldn't get any solid idea on him yet. The hoodie kind of discouraged that. And here came the dreaded talking moment. "I apologize for my tardiness. There's been a mix up with student names and it took some time for it to be corrected." Rani almost winced at her choice of words. Even though she didn't trip over them, the way she produced her syllables let unease trickle through their gaps. "I'm Jorani Meas, and apparently I'm your teammate. Josh Luteus - I believe that was his name - is on Team CYAN." During the entire time she was speaking, her eyes flicked from person to person. She had long since mastered the art of looking at someone in the face without looking them in the eye, and she employed this readily. Internally, she was fretting about how badly she could've possibly messed up. {{{It's fine. :3 I hope it's alright that I assumed he was carrying his signature mug... It was more to lighten up the atmosphere of my post, but I'll remove it if needed.}}} [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Fri, 01/07/2016 19:55 (8 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Fri, 01/07/2016 19:49 (8 Years ago) |
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Frankly, the sarcastic comment of "started school with a bang, did you?" would have been very appropriate for the current situation. In fact, Rani could've sworn she had heard someone drawl it out, but the ringing in her ears had deterred her from trusting her hearing. She had been a wee bit closer to the blast than she would've preferred, and her evasion of medical assistance didn't help matters. Surely, she had thought, other people would need the attention more. Soon enough she was regretting this decision. As she ducked past the other students and spilled hurried apologies left, right, and center, her ears were positively killing her. This didn't warrant anything but a strained expression; her aura was bound to remedy it as soon as it had replenished. Unless her eardrums had burst (which she very much doubted), she was sure they'd be back to normal by the end of the day. Aside from her hearing, Rani was relatively unscathed. The soot should be easy enough to clean up and her tangled hair was fixable. She'd survived by a combination of luck, spatial reasoning, and her Semblance. Although unreasonably so, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed of her method of escape. A smidgen of guilt mixed into the base of her thoughts even as she headed to the amphitheater. It had taken her no less than three minutes of straining before she finally made out the essential bits of information from the AI, and her doubts rose with every passing moment. By the time she had arrived at her destination, the ringing had lessened significantly. Enough parts of the speech made it to her awareness to cancel out the possibility of ignorance, but the pain had yet to cease completely. When the students started to file out, no doubt ready to explore or find their dorms, Rani lingered behind. The ringing in her ears had been replaced with the pounding of her own blood. Only now had the full impact of the recent events sunk in, and the feeling could be likened to being sucker punched. She would only take a moment or two to recover, she told herself. Her eyes had yet to be briefed by the blue screens, but she was sure it wouldn't take long to find her own name. [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Thu, 30/06/2016 20:15 (8 Years ago) |
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Username: Omnia Character Name: Jorani Chantrea Meas Age: 17 Gender: Female Species: Human Weapon: Two sets of seemingly innocuous metal "hair ties" (to be honest, they're a lot more like metal arm wraps) that are commonly found encircling her forearms. They can conjoin at a moment's notice (and a flip of a tiny switch) to form the weapon that would be more appropriate for the situation: a misericorde and a small shield, a semi-automatic shotgun with razor sharp edges, or two chakrams. Semblance: Anodyne - "I can make things move after touching them." At first seemingly harmless, the Semblance couldn't have been any more misleading that it already is. Spawning from Jorani's odd kind of aloofness, her Semblance allows her to interact with objects from a distance. Although similar to telekinesis, it has its differences. For one, Rani must have had physical contact with an object beforehand for at least ten seconds. Once that's done, she can manipulate the said object for half a minute. Physical properties of the object are taken into account. [10 sec (min.) = 30 sec of interaction.] Her absolute distance limit is a forty-two meter radius, regardless of whether its in her peripheral vision. She can conjure the image of the actual object in her head and interact with it if it's out of sight. Aura Colour: Ash grey Physical Description: A bit on the tall side and awkwardly so, Jorani is glad to know that the days of sticking out because of her height are long gone. Her once accident-prone legs have finally decided to settle down and quit tripping over themselves. Aside from her embarrassing lack of coordination, Rani's first impression is nondescript at best and lackluster at worst (or so she thinks.) Frequently made distinctive by glowing olive skin and serious grey eyes, Rani is far from the usual face in the crowd. Not only does her constant balking make a chip in the unremarkable persona she believes she possesses, it also adds to the novelty of seeing her unmitigated smile for the first time. Her heart-shaped profile suffuses her with a delicate elegance that tops off her regalia excellently, while umber-and-cocoa tresses bring out the hazel flecks in her eyes. Embroidered silk layers of pale gold cocoon Rani's physique, misleadingly diaphanous and "impractical." Anchored to one shoulder by a wide strap of a firmer material, the otherwise unfettered bodice is bound to raise eyebrows on the battlefield. A gossamer cloak-like extension is pinned to the strap by a reliable brooch, although it cannot utterly halt its ward's flirtations with the wind. At times when improvisation is a must, the gauzy extra can turn in its flashy charm in exchange for much needed pragmatism. A sleeveless tunic colored like the edge of a knife sits as the bottom-most layer, grants the thermal heat needed, and balances out the carefree appeal of her apparel. A grey cord akin to a belt clasps together Rani's outfit and aptly echo her eyes. Below the waist, her membership in the Combat Skirts club is made evident by the carefully hand-crafted, embellished mesh. Leggings hug her calves and are synchronized with the gold theme by sporting a flaxen shade. In contrast, they seem to pair up with her tunic if you consider their plain textures. Soft brown boots trimmed with silver are laced up to protect her bare feet. Personality: Hare-hearted and self-effacing, Rani is perhaps another typical example of walking social awkwardness. Set on believing that simple is all she will all ever be, she fails to realize her own potential for personal development or the impact of her personal achievements. While a fumbling mess in the social background, she leaves her soft-spoken reputation behind more often than she notices. Firm in her beliefs and lacking the usual scruples, her faith in herself may be fairly stronger than anyone, herself included, would've expected. Not one to wear her heart on her sleeve, the guarded body language claims easily enough. In spite of being easily flustered, offending Rani is a feat worth noting. Insults tend to only have their intended effect if she respects their opinion, otherwise her reply will be an unimpressed raised eyebrow. Trust is a heavy burden she doesn't bestow on just any stranger. Look past the flushed expression and frantic gestures, and maybe you'll catch a glimpse of the Rani that she herself doesn't acknowledge. Spare her the theatrics. On the field, Rani acquires many uncharacteristically intense habits. Her social inabilities are pushed aside for the moment and it becomes even harder to pull a genuine smile out of her. Personal discomfort hits rock bottom on the list of her priorities, so don't expect any complaints from her in those situations. She's no fan of unnecessary war and bloodshed, and if you dare make a joke about such things, you're asking for a piercing look that clearly indicates that she disapproves of you and your lifestyle. Curb the sarcasm, because chances are Rani won't get it at all. Predisposed to taking everything literally, she probably will ask if a punch line is some kind of attack strategy. Her obliviousness has hampered many a good joke; according to her adoptive Faunus parents, she's a bit of a hopeless case in that aspect. Notwithstanding, she's surprisingly not that much of a killjoy. It would be really great if someone explained what's so laughter-inducing about an innuendo though... Background Information: Faunus and humans have had more than their fair share of skirmishes and wars, and plenty have been unsuspectingly caught in the crossfire. Rani's parents were only two of the many casualties during riots, and she was orphaned when she was barely a year old. She was sent to her nearest remaining relatives, but they realized they were quite financially unprepared to feed another mouth. Eventually they came to quite a controversial decision, and sent Rani to live with a Faunus couple who were close family friends. That was how Rani grew up with two mothers. They rebuilt the foundation of her childhood with no small amount of love. Although Rani knew they weren't her biological parents, she loved them fiercely. Most of her childhood and teenage years was composed of fending off her peers' scorn. However, even the strongest bonds fracture and fail. One day, Rani came home to find out that one of her parents had been hospitalized. The stigma against Faunus had finally taken its toll on her tightly-knit family. Her other parent grew reclusive, and at one point, stopped going home. With one in a coma and the other no longer acknowledging her existence, Rani was forced to grow accustomed to the silent walls of her house. It seemed that Mak would never wake up, and Maeh was gone. With a heavy heart, Rani returned to her relatives (who could now support her) and was advised to try for Beacon. There was nothing left there for her, so she went for it. Her arguably poor performance on the test made her doubt she would be even accepted, but to her surprise, she was. Password: ~☆¿☆~ [Read more] |
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Omnia OFFLINE Forum Posts: 129 |
Posted: Sun, 27/03/2016 15:22 (8 Years ago) |
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This is all totally the Daycare Owner's fault. They're probably mistaking everyone's Easter eggs for normal Daycare eggs and cooking them. (WE ALL KNOW WHAT GOES BEHIND THAT CUTESY DAYCARE LOGO, DAYCARE OWNER. QUIT LYING TO US. EVEN THE HARVEST SPRITES KNOW IT. AND I CAN'T BELIEVE PROFESSOR ROWAN IS IN THE CONSPIRACY WITH YOU.) The temerity, nhn. This year's Easter apparently isn't my Easter. About to retire for the night with still two eggs missing. Didn't help that I was denied half-decent internet access for a few days. I'm resisting the urge to drool at the sight of Ferrerocoal though, and that's kind of good enough for me. It was one fun Easter. :3 [Read more] |
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