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I'm Feeling Lucky
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User OFFLINE   Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Thu, 22/09/2016 14:55 (8 Years ago) |
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Thanks for the trade ^^ [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Thu, 22/09/2016 14:45 (8 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Tue, 20/09/2016 01:28 (8 Years ago) |
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Thanks for the trade ^^ [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Sun, 11/09/2016 04:45 (8 Years ago) |
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Very very long long time no see my dear diary. I have been busy with Exam studies and after my exams ended, I had to move. And then I got a new internet which is really slow. It's telephone line internet connection which is the slowest from what I know xD But I have no alternative so what to do. Anyways, that's the reason I couldn't write for exactly 4 months xD Let me start writing now. I usually write in chronological order, but I will just finish off with Emera Beach shinies before anything. Mostly because there are quite a lot of them xD I will just write them in the order of their dex number. And probably write why I gave them such names. Capsule because it looks like capsule xD Berrie because it looks berry much like berry. It is a star that looks like star. Caught yesterday only, I don't know how the colour 'Aquamarine' appears, but I guess it isn't a bad name. I used to have Starmie in Psychic mono type run for Pokemon Reborn, and it was so OP. Surf, Psychic, Minimize and Confuse Ray for its moveset. It is fast and hit hard and it's not that weak defensive either. So good xD Don't have Ice Beam because Reborn doesn't give good TMs so easily. Starmie carried the Ground Type Gym too xD So I like Starmie quite a lot. Rodnia because its hidden ability is Lightning Rod xD It kind of has the pattern of tiger. Serious natured Male Gyarados, so perfect :'D Although I don't like Gyarados specifically xD Named it Rager because it is Atrocious and often used the move Thrash often. I actually had another shiny Gyarados, but I replaced her. I don't usually do that, but I did that for her. Aww, hope she found a good home. So, they are both Rash natured female. Aww, I love them both <3 I kind of prefer female gender for Marill evo line xD They have the same nature too, so I guess I can consider them as sisters. 'Secret' and 'Hidden' part of their name comes from the ability Huge Power, they appear to be weak but they are super strong xD So yeah, they have Secret/Hidden Power, definitely. 'air' part comes from 'Fairy'. Names are kind of strange, but they have meanings in their name I guess. Also, Hiddenair was my first beach shiny :3 Riana because she calls rain with drizzle ability. Rain, rearrange it and you get Rian. Add a and you get Riana xD Jumper because it jumps for Mantyke/Mantine I guess. I have bad memory of Huntail killing my Finneon in Pokemon Insurgence egglocke. I used Charm twice and it got critical hit on Sucker Punch. Oh well. Her name was Lumi (Given from the state of egg already, not made by me), and she was the only dead pokemon from that run until now (I am too lazy to finish it). They all have 31 IVs on all the stats so they are super strong. Plus they have egg moves too. So yeah. But anyways, I named the Huntail Venon because it did a fatal damage to poor Finneon which died before it evolved. T^T I named her Amelia which I corrected to Amaria afterwards xD I named her Amaria after a character in Pokemon Reborn. Amaria is a Water-type Gym leader which is kind in my opinion. However, she isn't that strong mentally so.. well.. yep, I won't spoil the story too much xD But anyways, Piplup is a water type too, and that light-blue colour fits Amaria who also has light-blue coloured hair. So yep, I like her name :3 Camouny because I think she will be good in camouflage. xD Foamey because it is related to foams if I am correct. Thriclaw from 'Thrice' and 'claw'. It has two claws and its head looks like a claw too, so 3 claws xD It looks like Q, so yeah. And I thought of naming it PULSE, like the one in Pokemon Reborn, since there is PULSE Clawitzer (I haven't encountered it yet though). But PULSE pokemon suffer a lot, so nah. And that's all for beach shinies. Ah, that's a lot of work already xD Let me refer to my feeds and write the diary now. Mhm, I guess the earliest one is that I reached Dream Level 7. Yay :'D I get 7 DP every hour and so much as bonus if I do other things. Talking about DP, I started collecting DP. Kind of desperately xD I will get a shiny Mew in the next year, definitely *^* Shiny Mew is so cute <3 Oh yes, I had a shiny Mew in Pokemon Insurgence Randomizer. xD I don't know if I will name the shiny Mew after her though. If I get it. But not sure if I can give a better name xD And I need to collect much more. There would probably be shiny plushie events meanwhile, and I probably should try to get all those too. So yeah, trying hard for that xD Although there is internet lag + PH lag. And then my exams finished and I moved my house. And I didn't tell this in a feed, but I am satisfied with my exam results ^^ Won't specify the grades though. I know some people read the diary so yep. But I am happy, hehe xD Exam results were out on 25th August only, took about 2 months since the exams ended (at 17th August was my last exam, Physics) I guess studies paid off :3 Oh yes, Graduation ceremony! It was amazing! I had a wonderful time with my friends and teachers. Took pictures, got a lot of good wishes and did the same to many other people. I think I will kind of miss my teachers too. I loved them. I think I will miss my friends too, since we are all going to different colleges/courses. But oh well, trying to keep in touch. Although.. I don't think I will have topic to approach them xD But anyways, that is it for school I guess. And then I got another year of premium. Woohoo, so nice that I had the nuggets beforehand. No stress at all. The benefit of planning & preparing beforehand.jpg xD And then I caught the Strange Ornament at the beach myself after quite a long time. Didn't want to buy it because I wanted to get it myself. Maybe because I didn't want to sell one when I get my first one, I am not sure. But anyways, that's like 2 months ago xD And then for the Shaymin event, I think I did a decent job. Got about 4-5 Shaymin encounters I guess? 1 of them was a Shiny plushie too, I was lucky with that xD Shiny Shaymin plushie is so cute <3 One day, I want to get a Shiny Shaymin myself. But I don't have that high hope on it. So yeah, I will probably go crazy if I get it, but if I don't, nah, no disappointment :3 I don't even interact much compared to others xD And then I caught this cutie <3 Teddiursa is so cute xD Named her Mintna because she has the colour of mint I guess. Oh yes, I got a Ho-oh code about a month ago. Maybe I could've sold the code instead of redeeming it but I think there is a chance to get a shiny, so wynaut try it xD Again, even if I don't get it, I am ok with it. But since there is chance, wynaut. I also realised that I am on the ranklist for WT. Wow, I surely did a lot of WT xD Then another Mega stone from the Treasure Hunt. Yep, that's right, Treasure Hunt loves me xD I got an Enigma stone yesterday too. And I get dragon gems from it quite often too. I surely have Treasure Hunt luck. And then, yay, all puzzles completed xD Maybe it's good for nothing. But I felt good from it. So now, it is good for something :3 Logic xD I don't know when the new puzzles will be added if they do, but if they ever come out, I guess I will have fun again then. I guess that is all I can write from my feeds. So let me talk about something I didn't write in a feed. Actually there's one thing only. (Actually there is many, such as getting white powders, but let me just skip those things xD) I changed one of my OC's name, from Ys -> Yis. Her name, which is in Korean, didn't change. But like, her name is so hard to translate to English. Ahhh xD But I guess Yis can't be pronounced the other way, right? Pronounce 'Yi' first and then 's'. No other way I guess. Well, SeAh's name was changed for better pronounciation too, from SeA -> SeAh, a long time ago xD But I guess that doesn't really matter too much. Their Korean names stay the same. And I realised that I've come quite a long way in my shiny chain. Actually, 2500 isn't that long it seems. People got to chain 8000 with no shiny mega, so I won't complain anyways. Also, it is Yis I am hunting for, so I need to get a female Shiny Mega xD Well, it's a greedy goal, so I am ready to go all the way until I get her. Mmm, prepared for about 10000.. or 20000 since it is 50/50 for Absol's gender. But I don't really mind, I love Yis that much. As an OC of course. Well, she is a beautiful girl, but her only lover is Shine xD So yeah, I need to get Shine his lover too, right? Not giving up on that. Actually she was there for like years. Even before I planned this hunt. So he got his lover already but I am going to get Yis on PH too. Actually I am not sure if I can call her a 'girl' because she is like 20-21 and she is an adult already. And she is older than me too so I don't know how to address her xD But who cares, she is still a girl. Maybe I am being rude but what to do. I am kind of hesitant to call her a 'woman'. But anyways, I guess that is all. Ahh, that was a lot of work xD It was good writing on you, dear diary, as always. Thanks a lot :3 See you again~ Maybe soon since I am free most of the time now xD [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Tue, 30/08/2016 10:07 (8 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Mon, 29/08/2016 14:30 (8 Years ago) |
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12th September I guess I have some weird thoughts about these things. While I didn't want to disclose these thoughts, I also wanted to reveal it. I am filling in this post quite late (about 13 days after reserving the post), probably because I don't want people to see it. But I guess I want some people to see because anyone can see this diary, ain't I right, diary? Yeah, that's some of my deep thought already. But this is not what I wanted to write in this post. But if I am going to fill this post, why not disclose most of my thoughts anyways? Not like anyone cares for this post being long. But I guess the conclusion is that I want someone to see while I don't want anyone to see this. I don't know why, I am not a psychologist. I know myself the best, more than anyone, but even I don't know why I am being like this. But anyways, I guess I can't answer that question myself. At least for now. So as the title says, I will post some of the deep thoughts and my beliefs which I got from those deep thoughts. Most of these thoughts came to me while I was trying to sleep, because I can't fall asleep easily. Also when I was thinking about Shine and my other OCs. I might add on my other thoughts later, I guess. And I would probably strike out the beliefs I no longer have instead of erasing them. I guess I kind of want how myself is growing up and changing. So yeah. But for now, I will just write out some thoughts here. Maybe I wanted to speak this out to someone. So my first belief I always had is that I am the happiest person. Why? Because I think I am the happiest person in the world. That made me the happiest person. I think that, just by thinking that I am the happiest person, I can be the happiest person. What if someone else also says 'I am the happiest person'? It doesn't change anything. For me, myself is the happiest. The definition of being 'happy' is not that clear, isn't it? If you ask the definition of being happy, it would differ from people to people. And my opinion about that is, you are happy if you think you are happy. And if I am given the question: 'are you happy or unhappy?', whether I am happy or not depends on my answer, following my logic. So that means I am given the choice: 'will you be happy or unhappy?', according to my logic. So I decided to be a happy person. In fact, the happiest person in the world. Who doesn't want to be the happiest person in the world? So I am the happiest person in the world. I think the most important thing in one's life is happiness. I thought about this question: Why do I live? And apparently my answer is: I don't have any reason to live. So yeah, I am just living on with my life. After all, I don't want to die. I once heard this from a psychologist (from somewhere I don't remember), human beings are naturally afraid of death. So yeah, people will live on. Maybe their reason is because they are afraid of death. I guess that can also mean that people want to live? But I am not sure. Some people don't want to live because their life is so hard. Some people suffer depression. And some people even commit suicide. So yeah, I guess that doesn't apply to everyone. So I won't say all people want to live. And I believe people who commit suicide are afraid of their life more than death. So there are such people in the world. There are so many people who die from diseases because they are poor. People who have disabilities. People who don't even have all 4 limbs. People who die miserably from hunger and thirst. People who don't have parents since birth. And so much more. This is why I think: all people on PH are very lucky people. They have money to support themselves with food, drinks and shelter. They have money left after that, which is why tey even get to experience the luxury of using computer and even internet. They probably have at least one parent too. That itself make me think that they are lucky. But those people you mentioned are extremely unlucky people, and people on PH are those with average luck. Yeah, someone might say this. But I would rather think on my way. People on PH are lucky, extremely lucky because they didn't end up like people I mentioned above. But I think people I mentioned are unlucky. But if you are not unlucky, you are lucky, isn't it? Even more because people on PH all get education, and that luxury of internet. They don't even worry about food, do they? So yeah, I think they are lucky. However, the luckiest person would be me again. Because as I said before, I think happiness is the most important thing in one's life. And the happiest person is the luckiest person too. The way I got lucky is because I appreciate things, in my opinion. I was immature before, and I didn't appreciate much things. I never used to appreciate food, drinks, shelter, education, etc. But I later realised that there are so many people who don't get those things. And then I started to appreciate things. And then, there were so many things that were given to me, when I thought about it. Food, shelter, education, wonderful parents, and so many more. But many people do not appreciate those things. Especially education and their parents. I agree that education can be boring and even stressful. But if people didn't go to school, they would've never learned about the language they speak, they would've never got their friends in real life, they would've never learned to behave, and how to socialise. Yeah, some people may say that you don't need school for education now that technology is so advanced. We can learn English with computer too, isn't it? But I disagree. Teachers helped me greatly with my studies. I asked a great amount of questions to teachers, and they always made me understand the lessons in the book. Yeah, you can ask those questions to your parents and through online. But I still disagree. I once typed the word 'Philosophy' online, and I never understood its meaning. But if I asked my English teacher about that word, I am sure she would've made me understand. I will cut this here I guess. And school also helped me with being disciplined. So yeah, I think school should be appreciated. There were so many people who wanted to study, or go to school, when I saw a TV program. So I appreciate it since then. And parents, yeah, people often get into arguments with them. Some of them often get serious. Some people say, I hate my parents. But I think, they never imagine a life without them, and what they do for them. They do all the work including earning money, cleaning, laundry, cooking, and all the housework. Yeah, some parents let their children to do some of those work. While it might be because they think it is too much for them to do by themselves, it is also a good experience for children. And I never understand those who say, I hate my parents. Most parents love their children. Even if they might say 'I hate you', they love them. Why would they work for someone who they don't love? They can just abandon them. And they can live on with easier life. So if you get abandoned, you would probably go to orphanage and.. I can't assure you that there will be someone that loves you as much as your parents. Probably not, in my opinion. Anyways, I guess that is it for why I think people should appreciate things. Oh yeah, talking about appreciation, I pity Professor Rowan and other NPCs of PH so much. Especially Professor Rowan. When people get their starters, they never thank him. When they get a Mega-able Charmander, they never appreciate him. I think less than 10% of people do. And what happens when people make feeds saying, 'I hate it when I gift someone something and they never say thanks'? So many people agree with him/her. While they don't appreciate Professor Rowan. After all, he gifts us so many things. And then he even cares about us all, doesn't he? Like, he wishes you happy birthday, congratulates you when you hatch a shiny, and now he even calls you 'awesome' when you collect a lot of dex pokemon. But all I hear about him is.. 'he is lazy, why can't he raise pokemon on his own?' while he clearly gives you a choice of not accepting the quest, and even if he explains that he is too busy. And some people complain to him about not giving him legendary birds/ditto. Although he just supplies eggs and it is they who grab the eggs. Anyways, I will stop about Professor Rowan. That is briefly why I pity him and like him. Also, I hate bad words/swear. I think they are useless words which can be easily replaced with, and good for nothing except hurting people. Yeah, like, what are they good for, except insulting someone or making that person feel bad? So I quitted using it when I was in primary school. I used to swear, just like other immature kids. And when I realised that I was swearing at someone who I don't even know of while playing a game, I just felt like I am so pathetic. So I quitted swearing. Now, I just use the word 'trash' at some people, which I think, have terrible personalities. Used it like twice or thrice on some cartoon/game characters I guess. But I hate swearing anyways. Why I hate swearing so much is also because people don't consider the feeling of the person hearing it. Yeah, I do not like people who do not consider about their actions before carrying out the action. Switch the positions and think about it. Wouldn't the person getting sweared at, feel bad? But yeah, there are exceptions. If someone has terrible personality, I am not going to protect that person. That person deserves to be sweared at, I feel like. But terrible personalities aren't that easily seen, in my opinion. It is really rare. Being immature or greedy isn't terrible I guess. So, kind of continuation. I don't think being greedy 'itself' is bad. I thought of this situation to persuade myself. A child scored 80% in an exam to make his mother happy. And as he wanted, his mother was so happy and proud of him. After he saw his mother being happy, he got greedy and wanted his mother to be even happier. So he studied harder and got 90% in the next exam. And he made his mother even happier. When I thought of this, I realised that being greedy isn't bad. I even heard one of my favourite commentator saying (in Korean, translated to English by myself): Greed is a good source of motivation. And now, I definitely think being greedy isn't bad. After all, isn't every human being greedy? I think it is just natural. Although, I was quite surprised on PH. People gifted so many things which were valuable/expensive. Even though they could definitely sell it and get a huge sum of money/etc. So yeah, some people on PH impressed me. Quite a lot actually. Maybe they aren't greedy for money. If I may say, I think they are kind. If I am to tell from what I know only. But another continuation from the last point. Even if you think you know so much about someone else, you don't know so much of that person too. Especially for person like me. I've been friend with some people for a long time, if I may say 1 year is long. I even chatted with that person. And that person calls me nice. But I think people don't know much about me. Only a few people who read this diary on a random post in page 2 would know that Shine is my OC, right? Same with that, people would rarely know about those things of mine. And some of the things, I never disclose it. Even on my diary. So how would they know that I am nice? They know like less than 20% of me probably. Probably the worst quality of mine is that I often get jealous of people. I hate that about myself. Not about PH stuff though. But when.. like.. someone gets a lot of love, I get jealous. When it is one of my friend, it is often worse. Why is that so, I wonder? So I wondered and found some of the conclusion. Maybe I unconsciously think that if someone becomes closer with someone, they become further with me in terms of how close we are. Honestly, I think that is ridiculous. So I always say 'no' to that unconscious part of mine. But feelings are weird I guess. I couldn't control myself until now. Trying so hard to do that, but so far, there hasn't been success. Yeah.. I surely have a long way to be mature. I am still, an immature child. This is why I never think myself to be mature, I guess. Every time I think that I am mature, I turn out to be immature. So I will try to be more mature and control myself even more. Maybe one day, I will not be jealous about anyone. One day. I feel so good to write this on you, diary. I knew this terrible part of me, and I could not tell this to anyone. I never imagined that I would tell you this, either. But I wrote it now, and I will never erase it. It was a good idea to write here. Thanks diary, as always.. ^^ Anyways, I have more to write. So the conclusion is that I will try to change. Talking about changes, I heard some people saying things like, 'Everyone hates me because I am whiny and I am always depressed..' 'Everyone hates me because I am greedy, and terrible..' But why is it that they don't change, even when they know they are disliked for that? I realised one thing. When someone is hated, there is a reason. Definitely. Even though that reason can be ridiculous like, 'I hate him because he is ugly and I feel so disgusted every time I see him'. And I kind of hate those people. But in most cases, such as given examples, they aren't hated for those ridiculous things, isn't it? If you are whiny and depressed, you can change. You can try not to whine, and you can try to be cheerful. I was hated at one point in my life, too. When I was in like Grade 5-6, I used to cry a lot in school, for literally nothing. Even though I was not a baby. I was a child then, I guess. And then I used to be arrogant, and noisy, troublesome, etc. I didn't get good grades either. I used to try to get involved in so many things. So yeah, I was kind of hated. I had no friends either, and that time was like nightmare for me. But thinking now, I deserved that kind of behaviour. Why would people like such an immature kid? I think I would've hated myself too. And since then, I unconsciously began to change, probably because people hated me. I began to grow up as a quiet kid. At Grade 7, people kind of hated me, still. Probably because some of them hated me when I was in Grade 6. But at Term 3 (of 3 terms of the year) of Grade 7, I don't think people hated me then. Just that they didn't approach me because I was quiet. Also, I began to get good grades since then. I guess that was another reason why people didn't approach me. However, I don't think I was hated, since then. So yeah, that's my story on how I changed. So why aren't people trying to change even though they know that people dislike them for something? In case of being whiny, it is annoying to many people. Isn't it better to change themselves so that they won't annoy other people, and they won't get hated anymore, for that quality? Yeah, I agree that it is very difficult to change themselves. As for my jealousy I talked about in the last paragraph too, it is really difficult to change and I haven't changed until yet. But it is worth a try, I would say. Yeah, it is difficult to change. But it would be so much better to change. Another opinion of mine is that optimism is really really good. I love optimism. Meanwhile, I kind of dislike pessimism. Why I like optimism is because it makes my life so much happier, and prevents me from feeling bad/sad. Example would be me thinking that I will get a Shiny mega someday, instead of thinking 'Will the shiny mega ever come? I feel like I will never get it....' I will get it if I continue to try, even though that can take long. Another would be that 'Nice, I got a shiny' instead of thinking, 'why couldn't you be mega-able shiny?' So yeah, I think optimism can never be bad, except that I have hard time understanding pessimistic people. You know what? The worst pessimism I heard was: 'I got Zapdos.. Ugh! I already have a Zapdos! Why couldn't I get an Articuno or Moltres -.-' And yeah, like, not a trace of happiness from getting a Zapdos from the lab. I even wondered if that person deserves such luck. So yeah, I kind of dislike pessimism. Because pessimism is just the opposite of optimism, isn't it? It makes your life sadder and prevents you from feeling good/happy. I wonder if they thought what pessimism does to them. But I guess they most probably didn't consider that. So yeah, I like optimistic people more than pessimistic people, of course. Too bad that pessimistic people won't get persuaded easily to be optimistic. But anyways, I guess that is it for optimism/pessimism. And another belief came to me when I was thinking about Shine, my OC. I gave him an ability to read other people's mind, upon looking at their eyes. Looks like a cool ability, right? That's what I thought when I was a child. But turns out it's terrible. You know why? Because no one wants to go near him. Same with anyone who has this ability, isn't it? If someone can read my mind, I would be afraid of that person. I have my secrets, and most people would want to keep their secrets. So if your secrets would be read on contacting your eye, you would want to avoid that person. Yeah, you can keep your ability as secret. Just that it is rude to do so. I made Shine as a kind person. So he ended up disclosing his eyes' ability. So yeah, he suffered a lot from that. Because no one wanted to go near him. I honestly think it would be same for any ability. If someone can teleport, that person is scary. If someone can be invisible, you will be in fear every time you imagine that person being near you. Reading other people's mind? Stated above. So yeah. Being an ordinary, normal person is the best thing. No need to be special, or different from others. We are all unique individuals anyways. I don't read news at all. This started because news was boring to me. And then I later realised: All the news is so sad. All these news is about people getting injured/dying. And that makes me/people to feel sad. Not like it is a matter to laugh about. So why is there a need to see/read news? So yeah. I never read or watch news because it is all about sad news. I think the most important thing is happiness, so I would rather be happy than watch news. Plus, I can do other happier things in the meanwhile. Some people will call me ignorant, and I admit that I am ignorant. But I would rather be ignorant and happy than knowledgeable and unhappy. I would rather play games than watch news. Not like watching news benefits me. Oh yes, I almost forgot to say this. I also realised that I can't change anything even if I watch news. I don't even have the control of my bank account to donate. So since I can't even change anything, I would rather avoid the sadness. Some people may say that we should all share our sadness. But I realised one thing. Even if I watch news and get sad, no one feels less sad. People watching news don't even know my existence. No one will be like: Oh, this 375839485th person is also sad, I will feel less sad then. So even if I watch news, it just increases the amount of sadness obtained from that news. And news is boring too. So I don't watch news. I guess that is all that I can remember, for now. I am sure there are more things to write, but I guess I can't remember everything. So I would probably come back when I remember more thoughts I have, or I get more thoughts. And thanks again, diary. I am so glad that I wrote on you. Feels really good after writing. I feel like I ranted, kind of. Especially my jealousy thing. I promise you, I will try to change. Because that part of mine is so terrible in my opinion. I hope I will be a better person when I write about my new thoughts next time. And thanks for the third time, diary. I feel like you deserve a hundred thanks from me, for hearing from me. So thanks ^^ 13th September So I thought about that 'change' part I wrote yesterday. I wrote that people should try to change. But am I actually trying to change? I say I am shy, but I don't think I tried to change. But when I thought more about it, I realised that I am kind of scared of not being added after adding someone on my friendlist, I guess. That would be why I don't add people first. Why I do not talk to people first is because I am not good in making conversations. You know, I have like nothing to talk about. I never go out, so nothing much happens in my life everyday too. I don't want to go and say 'hi, how are you' because people don't like it much, either. So yeah, I guess that is the reason why I am staying shy. I also realised that I am scared of making friends. Once, I made a friend in Grade 7. I thought he was my friend. But I later realised that he wasn't. He considered me a friend and I did too. But later when I entered Grade 10, I realised that I could never rely on him. I wanted to stay away from him, too. I didn't like him much, either. And trying to stop being a friend with him was.. quite scary I guess. Because like, if you end a relationship badly, the person becomes an enemy of yours, isn't it? So yeah, that is my excuse I guess. I don't think I can change easily on that part. But I will try, I guess. Although another reason I found is that since people don't hate people for being shy, I don't need to change. But I think I should try not to be so shy. I also hate art. But if I want to draw my OCs, I should change. But I don't think I would change for that. I don't think it is wrong to hate 'doing' art. Not like I hate seeing art too. People hate Maths, Science, History, etc. because they are hard for them. Same with me, art is too hard for me. And like, being 'good' in art would be so hard too. Because the definition of 'being good in art' is different for all people, isn't it? Someone may say someone's art is bad while other person says it is good. But conclusion is that I don't think I will change on that. The last thing I am not changing on is that I hate eating vegetables. And I think this one is quite serious one. My mother faces a lot of challenges because I don't eat vegetables. Yeah, people won't hate me for that, but I think I am being a bad son for that. So I think I should change. However, chewing on vegetables just take away all my appetite. Especially ones like onion and cucumber. I hate the textures a lot, although I don't know why. I don't think I tried to change, actually. I think I should change someday, though. But.. oh well, I don't know what to do I guess. I hate vegetables so much to try eating them. My mother used to say: 'You will change when you enter the military service.' I hope I change then. But until then? Do I need to try and change? Oh well. I don't know about that. I will just drop this topic here. I guess I have not come to conclusion on this yet. Oh yeah, I also forgot to tell this yesterday. I think all people are selfish naturally. If someone was given a choice: 'Will you make your friend happy or a nice stranger happy?' I think most of people would say that they will make their friend happy. I think that is because they want their friend to be happy more than a stranger to be happy, because their friend being happy would make them feel happier than a stranger being happy. Someone might say: 'My friend is amazing and deserves love'. But you don't know if the stranger will be even nicer. So yeah, I don't think that matters at all. Because he/she wants his/her friend to be happy. Well, I guess I can give more examples, but I will just cut it here. I don't think that example above was good, by the way. And then I thought of this question when I was thinking about examples: If your parent or someone else's mother has to die, who will you choose to live? I think most people would choose their parent. Unless they hate their parent. Yeah, even if someone else's parent dies and that someone will cry for days and even commit suicide. Even if that person's life will be miserable. And you know what I realised? This question is just made to make people feel guilty. Yeah, you are most likely going to choose your parent to live and end up making someone's life miserable anyways. And my conclusion about this question? This question is unworthy to spend time thinking about the answer. You won't face this situation in real life, our lives aren't dramas, movies or fantasies. You don't need to consider the answer to this question and feel guilty. I also remembered someone asking this question: Will you choose to be unhappy while everyone else is happy, or you being happy while everyone else is unhappy? I heard this from someone's feed on PH. Many people chose to be unhappy while everyone else is happy. But when I thought of what I will choose, I didn't know what to choose. Because you know, I want to be happy. But I don't want to make others unhappy for that. I don't live to make others happy, after all. If someone asks: why do you live? Some people may say they live to make others' life happy or to save others from illnesses, etc. But I don't think I live with those reasons. I just live to be happy myself. I don't live for others, I live for myself. And you know what, I feel like 'I live to make others happy' is kind of absurd. If you like to make others happy, you feel happy from that. And ultimately, you want your happiness from that. Whether you are conscious or unconscious about that. Although I think most people are unconscious about that. But you know, choosing the second option of being happy while everyone else is unhappy make you feel like you are a terrible, selfish person. And then I realised, this question is unworthy of thinking, too. Firstly, you don't have the power to make everyone else happy anyways. No one will ask you this question unless it is for fun/curiosity. I wonder if people who choose the first option of 'being unhappy while everyone else is happy' will actually choose that option if asked anonymously and that answer will actually have effect. Because as I said, I think everyone is selfish to some extent. But the second reason why I think this question is unworthy to think of: You won't be unhappy if everyone else is happy. You won't be happy if everyone else is unhappy. Because some people feel happiness from others being happy. And some people probably choose that option because of that. But you suddenly won't feel happiness from that? Well, that seems quite ridiculous. Yeah, that's the reason anyways. Oh, and I almost forgot about this one. I used to hate myself before. I thought I was terrible person. Even now, I don't think I am good person, to be honest. But I love myself a lot. I thought I should love myself. So yeah, now I don't have that much of self-hate. Although I hate many parts of mine, including that jealousy part I wrote about yesterday. I thought about that part, too, after I wrote that. And I think I still haven't overcome it because that doesn't come often. Yeah, I don't get jealous that often. If it was, I would've changed already. So yeah, I will just think this way: Who cares. Although I think I was already doing it. So I guess I should try not to get jealous in the first place. I will definitely try. I think that's all. But I may come back today. I am kind of forgetful and often forgets the points I thought of. The last point was added some time after I wrote the first two points, too (about 30 minutes before I wrote the last point). But anyways, I guess I wrote everything for now. Thanks again and see you again :3 21st September (I had this thought since like 5 days ago) So I thought of this, what if I die? Will people on PH know? Because my family doesn't even know that I would play this game. So if I die, people would wonder, why is this person not coming online? Actually, not much people. Only some people who consider me as a close friend. But anyways, they wouldn't know. So should I write something like, 'If I am not online for a few weeks/months, assume that something happened to me?' Then I started to wonder, is telling people those things good? Because you know, if I die, my friends would be sad. So is it better for them to wonder forever? I don't know. But even after I realised that they would be sad with that news, I kind of wanted them to know. Maybe I want attention. And this made me to bring back the belief I had: Everyone needs attention to live. I think someone would go crazy if they don't get attention. Maybe they will suffer depression and end up committing a suicide. But there are people called 'attention seekers', aren't there? Well, actually, maybe it's not their fault to be attention seekers. Because as I said, we all need attention to live, in my opinion. They don't need to think that they want attention, to do something attention-seeking. You know, I realised that we do some of the things instinctively. Some of them are called 'protective actions', too. And those things touched my heart thrice, which is every time I realised that someone's action was a protective action. Because you know, they weren't protecting themselves physically, but emotionally. Coming back to the original topic, if someone is seeking for attention because no one, including their parents, don't give attention to them, I think the major fault is with the parents, not the child which became an attention seeker. I believe that parents have the responsibility to care for their children. However, this is not to be taken for granted either, in my opinion. We should all thank our parents for being responsible. They could abandon us any time and live an easier life without us. Well, I am speaking without considering the emotions, such as love, for this one though. Anyways, I guess this is it. I think I forgot something, but I will come back when I remember it. See you diary ^^ 10th November So, long time no see. I guess I didn't think much about things deep recently, or I just didn't write them here because they were small things. Like my mother being a bit inconsiderate when she had guests, I guess. But you know, that's a small thing. I hope she was considerate then, but not a big deal. Since I wrote that here, guess I will forget about that already. The reason why I am writing here again is because of something I really hate, the use of offensive language towards certain nations or people of certain nation. Not really related to that US politics that was an issue yesterday and today though. I have been seeing words that were insulting towards certain countries, on Korean sites. Not going to specify the words or the nations' names, since people might feel bad when they see that it is their country and its people which are being insulted. Honestly, I think use of those languages are close to racism, because people are insulting a huge number of people just because some people from that nation are bad. But don't they know that all nations have some bad people, or should I say, some weird people that seem uneducated? I am sure all countries have them. But they still use it. And no one actually cares about using those insulting words. Rather, if one Korean says "why do you have to use that word?", others are like, "Are you from this country? lol". So yeah, there goes my hope of speaking my opinion. What's funny though, is that people think racism is bad. They say "Racists are trash." And there are rarely people who disagree with them, while they actually show racism. Well, according to my logic at least, because those words seem really insulting. Do they not know that those words are insulting? I don't think so. And I thought for a while, am I being too serious? Actually, probably yes. No people from other countries see those comments. That probably means that there is no one that will feel bad, except for people like me. But I thought it was better to not be insulting for all the time. Like, I thought not being insulting only when people from other countries are with you was similar to being two-sided. And it's easy to not be insulting, isn't it? In Korean language, you need to type 3 blocks of characters to not be offensive, but the offensive word is 2 blocks of characters. I don't think it is that hard. That is why I do not understand why people have to use the offensive word. But.. I guess I can't do anything, right? I learnt that a long time ago with swears already. People don't care if I hate it or not, they probably don't even know my existence. At least most people wouldn't. So yeah, nothing will change, so I just have to accept it and live on. That's probably what people will have to do with US politics too? But enough with that, I think I have heard enough of it already that I just want it to stop. People are just spamming things on chat about that when it's totally unrelated with the stream. So yeah, let us stop about that between us, ok? Ok. I guess I will still hate to hear those insulting words. But I guess this ranting got a bit of frustration out of me. Nothing will change for me, so I will have to change. Well, not like I will also use it or like it, but at least I will have to adapt to listening to those words. Yes, I would still hate it, but.. well, yeah. World is a pretty hard to place to live on, isn't it? Sad but can't do anything. Anyways, see you, diary. Always nice to rant here. And thanks. [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Mon, 29/08/2016 09:43 (8 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Mon, 29/08/2016 02:52 (8 Years ago) |
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They are all up on GTS. Thanks for the trade ^^ [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Sun, 28/08/2016 12:45 (8 Years ago) |
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They are all up on GTS now, thanks for the trade (: [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Sun, 28/08/2016 02:36 (8 Years ago) |
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If you are fine with the prices, I will set them up. (Also, you don't need to type 'thanks for the trade' again) [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Sat, 27/08/2016 07:01 (8 Years ago) |
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Anyways, let's cut the chat here since this is a shop. They are both up on GTS now. And they would be 3k together. Thanks for the trade (: [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Sat, 27/08/2016 06:54 (8 Years ago) |
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Do you mean a buneary and a lopunny? Or if you want 2 buneary, I can find another female one in another box. I will set them up when this is clarified. (And no need to say thanks for the trade again) [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Mon, 22/08/2016 04:51 (8 Years ago) |
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Sorry for accepting the offer late, I was fishing. xD [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Mon, 22/08/2016 04:08 (8 Years ago) |
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Pokémon ID: 11612483 Comment (additional): Thanks for the help, in advance ^^ [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Thu, 18/08/2016 04:21 (8 Years ago) |
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You can offer on them, and send the PD. Thanks for the trade ^^ [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Thu, 18/08/2016 04:16 (8 Years ago) |
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However, I couldn't find Kingdra in my trade boxes. Do you mean Seadra? I will set the pokemon up once that is clarified. [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Thu, 18/08/2016 01:31 (8 Years ago) |
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I just noticed that I don't have any Piloswine, and seeing that you are collecting Sinnoh pokemon, I have assumed that you want Mamoswine and have set Mamoswine up instead. Anyways, all the pokemon are up on GTS now. Thanks for the trade ^^ [Read more] |
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User OFFLINE Forum Posts: 552 |
Posted: Sun, 14/08/2016 05:45 (8 Years ago) |
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They are all up on GTS now. Thanks for the trade ^^ [Read more] |