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𝑾𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒌
Forum-Index → Diaries → 𝑾𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒌
Posted: Wed, 21/12/2022 20:36 (1 Year ago)
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𝑾𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒌
“Silk moths can’t fly. It’s been bred out of them for five thousand years.
The adults are only needed to make more worms.
Most aren’t meant to live long enough to break the chrysalis; flight’s an unnecessary trait.”
— Genevieve Valentine
✧₊⁺ Estella Blake ⁺₊✧
OC Spam Thread
contents
Canon ♥ || Picture (not-so) Perfect
Father ♥
|| Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧ CALLISTUS INTRODUCTION || link
__❀ GALLERY || link
__❀ INSERT I || Matricaria chamomilla || link
__❀ PROMPT I || What daddy doesn't know... || link____
Estella's Alternate AUs ♥
✧ GENSHIN IMPACT !!
__❀ INTRODUCTION - wip || link
__❀ INSERT I || Gypsophila paniculata - tba || link
__❀ PROMPT I || Flower Language - tba || link
✧ HIS DARK MATERIALS !!
__❀ DAEMON || Blanche || link
✧ GENERAL FANTASY !!
__❀ ANTHOUSAI NYMPH - wip || Hedera || link
✧ ESTELLA INTRODUCTION ||
link✧ CALLISTUS INTRODUCTION || link
__❀ GALLERY || link
__❀ INSERT I || Matricaria chamomilla || link
__❀ PROMPT I || What daddy doesn't know... || link____
Estella's Alternate AUs ♥
✧ GENSHIN IMPACT !!
__❀ INTRODUCTION - wip || link
__❀ INSERT I || Gypsophila paniculata - tba || link
__❀ PROMPT I || Flower Language - tba || link
✧ HIS DARK MATERIALS !!
__❀ DAEMON || Blanche || link
✧ GENERAL FANTASY !!
__❀ ANTHOUSAI NYMPH - wip || Hedera || link
__❀ TIMELINE || link
__❀ HEADCANONS || link
__❀ GALLERY || link
__❀ MOOD BOARD || link
__❀ WORD ASSOCIATION - wip || link
__❀ PLAYLIST || link
__❀ BTS: CREATING ESTELLA - tba || link
__❀ INSERT I || Solanum dulcamara || link
__❀ INSERT II || Adonis annua - tba || link
__❀ INSERT III || Daphne mezereum - tba || link
__❀ INSERT IV || Papaver somniferum - tba || link
__❀ INSERT V || Anemone coronaria - tba || link
__❀ PROMPT I || What's in Stelle's Bag? || link
__❀ PROMPT II || Stelle & Jealousy || link
__❀ PROMPT III || "Shark Week" || link
__❀ PROMPT IV || Driving With Stelle || link
__❀ PROMPT V || An Alternative Arc - wip || link
tentative prompt ideas
❀ Why Stelle doesn't talk to her mother; pressure, expectations, and jealousy
❀ Summers in Marseille; teen!Stelle who visits her grandparents over summer breaks; picking up an interest in art from her grandfather
❀ Stelle's Social Media
✧₊⁺ Disclaimer ⁺₊✧
This thread will cover sensitive topics!
I do not condone any toxic or unhealthy behaviours that may be portrayed here.
All images used in this thread are AI-generated unless stated otherwise.
I love her so much; girly gets her own thread <3
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Posted: Sat, 24/12/2022 14:24 (1 Year ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Character Sheet ⁺₊✧
✧ Theme Song - World’s Smallest Violin, AJR
_____✧ Etymology
Estella - es·tel·la - Latinate form of 'Estelle'.
From an Old French name meaning "star", ultimately derived from Latin 'stella'.
May be alternatively addressed by: Estelle, Stella, and Stelle.
Is affectionately referred to as 'ma étoile' ('my star') by her father.
✧ Demographics
★ Date of Birth: June 30th | ★ Star Sign: Cancer | ★ Age: 23 years old
★ Gender: Female | ★ Pronouns: She/Her | ★ Sexuality: Lesbian
★ Nationality: Franco-American | ★ Place of Birth: Paris, France
✧ Introduction
“Estelle, my dear. Can you call me back when you get this message? Love, Dad.”
While her name and face have long since faded from the media, Estella Blake was a name that was once on everyone's lips. Known for her endearing charm and effortless grace, she was a promising child star, rising to fame at a young age. However, that was ten years ago. Estella's career was cut short in the blink of an eye, leaving everyone wondering what happened to the bright young talent. It was a sudden and unexpected disappearance from the fashion world, leaving her fans and followers baffled. The reason for Estella's abrupt departure from the industry still remains a mystery, to even her parents. To this day, Estella cannot force herself to spill the sickening secret of what had happened that day. At least, not while sober. Her past is a secret she's determined to keep hidden, quick to change the subject or brush off any attempts to pry.
Despite her vow never to return to the modeling industry, fate had other plans for Estella.
After a sudden phone call from her father, requesting a favor from her in the form of a job offer, inviting her to take his place in managing Illusion Studios: a prosperous modeling agency that he'd bought and reformed when Estella was just a child. Despite initially rejecting his offer, Estella would eventually sign the contract out of guilt, obligation, and false assurance of adequate training. But as she walked into the House of Illusions for the first time, Estella couldn't help but sense an overwhelming feeling of dread and regret. Estella knew better than to believe that everything was perfect, as depicted by the press. After all, she was all too familiar with the dark side of the industry, the one that was hidden behind the glamour and glitz.
✧ Appearance
The embodiment of quiet elegance, her appearance is a perfect blend of natural beauty and deliberate refinement. Standing at 5’7” with a slim, almost delicate frame, Estella’s physique is a testament to both her years as a model and the expectations she has confronted along with it. While graceful and enviable, her willowy figure carries a faint fragility that betrays the struggles she continues to navigate. Every movement she makes reflects the ingrained poise of her past, with a straight-backed posture and deliberate grace that hint at her modelling roots. Even in her most casual moments, Estella’s bearing remains model-like, a subconscious habit from years of living under the spotlight.
Her face is striking in its understated charm, possessing a timeless quality that captures attention without the need for exaggeration. Estella’s features are soft yet refined, a harmonious blend of her American and Southern French heritage. Her hazel eyes are perhaps her most expressive feature, shifting between shades of gold and green depending on the light. They are windows to the complex emotions she often keeps concealed, revealing hints of vulnerability and melancholy beneath her composed exterior. Her nose is petite and straight, adding to her classic profile, while her lips, naturally pink, are usually adorned with subtle, neutral shades of lipstick that emphasize her effortless sophistication.
Estella’s platinum blonde hair is a defining element of her appearance. Naturally brunette, she dyed it blonde during her teenage years in an act of reinvention, and the style has since become a signature part of her identity. Cut into a chic, shoulder-length bob with loose waves, her hair frames her face in a way that softens her overall look while maintaining a polished and professional appearance. The golden tones complement her fair yet warm complexion, which she maintains with meticulous care. Her skin is unmarred except for a single small scar - barely even noticeable - just above her right eyebrow, which serves as a reminder of a drunken mishap from a few years earlier.
Her wardrobe reflects her role as the director of Illusion Studios—a balance of professionalism and fashion-forward sensibility. Estella gravitates toward neutral tones like white, beige, and soft pastels, highlighting her warm skin tone and lending an air of subtle sophistication. She often pairs tailored blouses with high-waisted skirts or trousers, her outfits carefully chosen to flatter her figure while ensuring practicality for her demanding workdays. Accessories are minimal but deliberate: thin gold necklaces, small earrings, and delicate bracelets that add a hint of understated elegance without drawing attention away from her overall look. Her shoes, often low-to-mid heels, reflect her preference for comfort without compromising style.
Estella’s makeup mirrors her approach to fashion—minimal yet flawlessly executed. Her foundation is light and natural, just enough to even out her complexion while maintaining its natural glow. A soft blush highlights her cheekbones, and subtle eyeliner frames her hazel eyes. Her lips, typically adorned in neutral shades, complete a look that exudes professionalism without feeling overly curated. However, the occasional signs of stress—faint dark circles or tension around her mouth—betray the emotional toll of her responsibilities and personal struggles.
Beyond her polished exterior, Estella’s mannerisms expose the quirks of her character. Though she moves with the confidence of someone accustomed to being in the spotlight, there are moments of self-consciousness in the way she tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear or fidgets with the cuffs of her sleeves when lost in thought. Her hands, slender and nimble, often bear faint traces of pencil smudges from her private hobby of drawing—a creative outlet that provides solace amidst the chaos of her life.
✧ Personality
★ Personality type (MBTI): ISFJ-T | ★ Personality type (Enneagram): 9w1 | ★ Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good
Once filled with boundless energy and a zest for life, Estella’s early years were defined by an infectious enthusiasm and a natural magnetism. She was a lively and ambitious child, unafraid to embrace new challenges or stand in the spotlight, a quality that made her a natural fit as the poster child for Orchid Boutique. However, a harrowing trauma at the age of thirteen shattered this youthful effervescence, leaving her to grapple with an identity transformed by pain and survival.
As a child, Estella was known for her vivacious personality and her ability to charm everyone around her. She had an inherent ability to seize every opportunity that came her way, her charisma and unfiltered joy making her a rising star in the modelling world. Her early experiences on set were marked by a sense of wonder and excitement, and her natural confidence made her a favorite among photographers and clients alike. However, this bright and carefree disposition was irrevocably altered by the abuse she suffered during a photoshoot. The trauma forced her to abandon her burgeoning career, and with it, the lively, optimistic girl she once was began to retreat into the shadows.
The Estella of today is almost unrecognizable from her childhood self. Where she was once bubbly and outgoing, she is now quiet and reserved, her demeanour shaped by years of battling anxiety and self-doubt. Her natural exuberance has been replaced by subtle elegance, a professional poise she maintains as the director of Illusion Studios. She is resiliant - disciplined and uncomplaining: qualities that have helped her navigate her role as director, despite her discomfort with the industry. Yet, this discipline often serves as a mask, concealing the disorganization and emotional turmoil under the surface. Despite constantly being under judgement for her inexperience as a manager, Estella maintains a formal and reserved demeanor in public, guarding her emotions behind a wall of professionalism for the sake of the company's reputation.
Her professional relationships, furthermore, reflect her discomfort with leadership. Estella approaches her role as director with a casual, almost overly accommodating attitude, much like her father before her, preferring to maintain a friendly rapport with the models rather than asserting her authority. She dislikes conflict and strives to meet others' demands, even when it strains her own resources. This submissive tendency, coupled with her anxiety, often leaves her feeling overwhelmed, though she rarely complains or lets her struggles show.
✧ About: Acedia
Acedia—often described as spiritual apathy, emotional exhaustion, or a profound sense of stagnation—casts a long shadow over Estella Blake’s life, intricately weaving into her daily routines and habits. Manifesting as debilitating anxiety, this ancient sin (if it's even fair to call it a sin) permeates her thoughts, actions, and relationships, creating a vicious cycle of self-sabotage and inner turmoil.
Estella begins each day with a heavy sense of inertia. Mornings, for her, are not a fresh start but a continuation of the emotional weight she carries. Her anxiety manifests as an overactive mind filled with self-doubt and dread, particularly about her role at Illusion Studios. While she adheres to a disciplined routine to maintain appearances, these actions are often hollow, driven more by habit than purpose. The act of facing her responsibilities—whether leading meetings, reviewing portfolios, or making decisions—feels like an overwhelming burden, draining her before the day has truly begun.
Her fear of cameras, a cruel irony for a former model, shapes her interactions with the industry she now oversees. Simply entering a studio or attending a photoshoot can trigger flashbacks or panic attacks, forcing her to compartmentalize her emotions just to function. These moments of professional necessity are emotionally taxing, leaving her mentally depleted and prone to avoidance. This avoidance feeds into her acedia, as tasks pile up and the overwhelming sense of failure looms larger.
To cope with the unrelenting anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, Estella falls into self-destructive behaviours. Her eating disorders, a lingering result of her trauma, are worsened by her desire to maintain control over something—anything—in her life. Restrictive eating and purging rituals serve as temporary reprieves, offering a false sense of mastery over her spiralling emotions. However, these habits weaken her physically and mentally, leaving her even more vulnerable to the cycles of acedia.
Alcoholism is another coping mechanism she turns to in moments of despair. After particularly stressful days, she seeks solace in drinking, numbing herself to the feelings of failure and self-loathing that acedia whispers in her ear. Yet, the brief escape alcohol offers is quickly replaced by guilt and shame, deepening her emotional paralysis. Each drink is a small rebellion against her responsibilities, a quiet surrender to the overwhelming apathy that defines her acedia.
✧ About: Callistus
Estella’s relationship with her father is a tangled web of love, resentment, and unspoken pain. Though he has always been her loudest cheerleader, unwavering in his pride for her achievements, their bond has been deeply strained since her assault and subsequent decision to leave modeling. This fracture stems not from a lack of affection on her father’s part but from Estella’s perception that her feelings and decisions were never truly acknowledged or validated by her parents during her most vulnerable moments.
Her father’s initial refusal to accept her departure from the industry—an act she saw as essential for her survival—felt to Estella like a betrayal. This dismissal, coupled with her mother’s overt disappointment, left Estella believing that her parents valued her career more than her well-being. It’s a belief that hardened over the years, making her hesitant to seek their consolation or support regarding the trauma she endured. How could she? Her parents’ unwavering trust in Orchid Boutique, a company that treated her like their own child, left her convinced that they would struggle to believe her accusations. That fear of disbelief, of being dismissed again, has silenced her, creating an emotional chasm between them.
Her father’s laidback demeanour, which once brought lightness and laughter to their relationship, now grates on Estella’s nerves. She finds his corny humour and attempts to cheer her up insincere, a superficial balm for wounds far deeper than he seems to realize. While she rolls her eyes at his efforts, there’s a lingering ache beneath her irritation—a longing to reconnect with the man who was once her biggest supporter. She misses the closeness they shared, the way he championed her ambitions without hesitation. Yet, his inability to engage with her pain in a meaningful way has left her feeling unsupported and misunderstood, emotions that are as frustrating as they are heartbreaking.
Complicating matters further is Estella’s inner conflict. While her father’s attempts to bridge the gap between them often feel tone-deaf, they are undeniably rooted in love. Estella knows this deep down and even admires his unwavering optimism, but her resentment and unresolved trauma make it difficult for her to accept his support. Instead, she oscillates between longing for his validation and pushing him away, unable to reconcile her conflicting emotions.
Alternatively, also posted here
Posted: Thu, 05/01/2023 15:26 (1 Year ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Character Timeline ⁺₊✧
“Though they shine for many thousands, and even millions of years, stars do not last forever.”
Content/Trigger Warning For:
heavily implied CSA; mentions of eating disorders, alcoholism, and substance abuse
Nebula || Birth || ♫ Ma p’tite étoile - Hatik
- a cloud of gas and dust in outer space, visible in the night sky either as an indistinct bright patch or as a dark silhouette against other luminous matter.
A little earlier than expected, Estella Blake makes her debut into the world on June 30th, in Paris, France - had it been just a few minutes later, she would have been a July baby. Her father had spent the early hours of her labour anxiously pacing the birthing suite: he’s still not great when under pressure. However, he thanks the stars when she arrives - tiny, but healthy and without complications, and she looks just like him! Large brown eyes and dark curls already adorning her head. She has that silly little pitiful pout that he does, too. Her father suggests her name; He thought it was cute to name her after the stars, considering how late in the night she was born.
Protostar || Early Childhood || ♫ Best Day Of My Life - American Authors
- A contracting mass of gas, which represents an early stage in the formation of a star, before nucleosynthesis has begun.
For the first three years of her life, Estella lived in France with her parents. Their main residence was in the vibrant city of Paris; however, they also had a family tradition of spending a few weeks each summer in the southern coastal city of Marseille to visit Estella's grandparents on her father’s side. Once her mother was fit enough to return to the modelling scene, they made the decision to move to New York in the United States: her mother’s birthplace. Despite being a huge transition, as well as being Estella’s first time leaving her home soil, she adapts relatively easily, unlike her father who initially struggles with the permanent culture change - he had only visited the country a few times prior, for business.
As an only child, she clutches the attention of both her parents. They’re so involved in her life, that everything revolves around Estella and her needs and wants. Her parents are very different. Her mother is the more authoritative of the two, the one who instils self-discipline and poise into Estella - being an ungrateful, spoilt brat isn’t a good look. Her father, on the other hand, takes on a more relaxed approach, often testing or completely ignoring the boundaries set by Estella’s mother, for their daughter, believing that freedom and experiences are important for her development as a person. A troublesome duo: Estella and her father, like two peas in a pod. She’s, very much, a daddy’s girl.
A social butterfly with a large circle of friends. Estella was probably one of the only kids who genuinely liked and looked forward to going to school. No one was left out, not on her watch. She was the child who fought to ensure everyone was included in the playground games. In the classroom, she was notably bright and eager to get involved in activities, and not one who was afraid to raise her hand and ask questions. Her bubbly nature, however, did get her into trouble on a few occasions. She wasn’t so much a troublemaker, but her excitement and over-enthusiasm sometimes made her a distraction to her classmates.
Main Sequence || Modeling Career || ♫ Show & Tell - Melanie Martinez - tw: heavily implied CSA
- the main sequence is the stage where a star spends most of its existence.
Estella doesn’t quite understand the meaning of privilege, but she understands that not all families have a lot of money, like her parents, and can give their children the same luxuries that she receives. She’s a curious child who is adamant about trying everything she sees, despite any attempts her parents might have made to persuade her to wait until she’s a bit older. After witnessing her mother’s re-debut as a model, Estella is left in awe, her mind subconsciously connects the image to the descriptions of the princesses told by her father in her bedtime stories. She decides, there and then, that she, too, wants to be a “princess” like her mother. So when the opportunity arises, scouted at the age of four while shopping with her mother, Estella is ecstatic.
Her father is conflicted over the news. While he’d love to support all of her ambitions, he finds the idea of his daughter beginning a career - especially one that would focus on her appearance and at such a young age, too - rather uncomfortable. He compromises with Estella - she wouldn’t get to sign with an agency but would, instead, be managed by her parents. Estella begins her career, completing small commissions here and there, a few times a month. She’s a natural for the camera. Dedicated, she’s studied her mother's work, absorbing her steps and manipulating them as her own, almost seeming too mature for her age had it not been for her innocence.
Soon enough, as her name and face became increasingly recognised, commissions for her were pouring in from all kinds of brands. Even with full-time schooling, Estella remained tireless, handling each job professionally, as prompted by her mother. At the age of eight, she was approached by an ambassador of Orchid Boutique: a fairly young, designer brand for children. She’s so excited to finally be able to sign a contract with a company, proving her wholehearted commitment to what was thought to have just been a phase of her “trying everything” mentality. After only a short while with the brand, Estella is considered the face of the brand, front and center on the covers of their magazines and starring in their adverts.
Her parents were both busy that day, but Estella, having recently turned thirteen, was certain she would be able to handle everything on her own. By now, she’d done hundreds of photoshoots, and she knew the routine and what was expected of her. She bids her father goodbye with a signature smile as he drops her off at the boutique, unbeknownst to him, it would be the last one he sees for years to come. The day starts out as normal: she greets everyone and gets snacks while she has her hair and makeup done. They’re like a second family to her, Estella could gossip with them for hours and not get bored.
Things begin to get strange when she is followed into her changing room by a staff member, insistent that they help her put on her outfit. While it wasn’t uncommon for the younger models to have assistance, Estella was confused. It wasn’t her ego - she was quite clearly competent enough to dress herself. Reluctantly, she agrees to accept their help. After all, they’ve helped in taking care of her for the past five years, it wouldn’t - shouldn’t - be any different now. Estella realises her mistake when their hands are wandering across her body in ways and places that she’s been told, by her parents and teachers, not to allow people to touch. There’s a sick feeling in her stomach as they tell her how beautiful she is, and how much she’s matured over the years. She won’t forget the flash of the camera on their phone, requesting a private photoshoot from her.
When she finally steps out for the actual planned shoot, she’s a trembling mess. She’s never had so many re-takes but plays her inconsistency off as just feeling unwell. Technically, she wasn’t lying; however, she also couldn’t bring herself to tell them the truth. They’d never believe her.
Red Supergiant || Post-Retirement & Teen Years || ♫ Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold - tw: mentions of eating disorders
- an ageing giant star that has consumed its core's supply of hydrogen fuel.
The household had never witnessed so much volatile energy: Arguing, screaming, crying, mother and daughter at each others' throats. As Estella declares her unwillingness to return to modelling, her mother remains aggressively insistent that she continues for the sake of her future. She's having none of it. Her father finds himself in the middle of the crossfire. It's awkward, heartbreaking; yet, he can't force himself to pick sides - that's just not like him. Admittedly, he's also confused and shocked by his daughter's outburst. He'd known her to be somewhat stubborn at times, but never with such desperation. His intuition takes over, stepping in to ask Estella the simple question "Why?". The silence, the pale look of horror on her face and the way her lip quivered as if she were struggling to spit out the right words, almost had him regretting asking. If only the honest answer was just as simple to provide: she evades telling them the truth, they'd be so much more disappointed if they knew.
Estella doesn’t want to be beautiful - she feels betrayed. No one ever mentioned the pain that came with it, her father never included that part in her bedtime stories. At the age of sixteen, she’s at her sickest, her anxiety and depression taking a massive toll on her health. The constant fear that she would be preyed upon again made her stomach turn. Despite never being a picky child when it came to food, Estella was completely put off thanks to the perpetual feeling of nausea, causing her to skip meals. If she did eat, she was often sick shortly after. She struggles with anorexia and, due to her lack of energy, ends up missing a lot of school because of it. Being practically home-bound, Estella spends a lot of time drawing, her interest in the art sparking after discovering her grandfather’s sketchbooks during their yearly vacation to Marseille. She was initially scolded for snooping around before he opened up and explained that his art was his way of expressing his feelings.
Her liveliness has gone. She is quiet, wanting nothing more than to be unbothered, sitting at the back of her classes and usually alone during recess. It annoys her when her peers still recognise her for her former fame and try to get close to her. Was it asking too much to want to leave it all behind her and forget everything that happened? When pestered about her status, Estella would lie and tell them she was on a hiatus to focus on school - it was hard work managing them both at the same time, she made it work before, but now she constantly feels drained. However, she's doing anything but focusing, finding it hard to pay attention in classes. Her grades slip significantly and her attitude turns sour as her diligence is compared to that of her younger self. Furious, she couldn't understand why was everyone so obsessed with the child who blindly followed childish dreams.
She isn't present for the majority of her junior year, due to ill health, but returns for her senior year. In spite of her break, Estella is no better productive, skipping classes and hanging out with the wrong people who introduce her to the ways of delinquency. Being around these people makes something in her brain click. Perhaps the lack of expectations, besides loyalty, and the absence of care for the image they put on. She finds a sense of security within the mean girl cliche, ignorant to the fact that they only accept her for her social status.
Supernova || College & Bad Habits || ♫ Hot Mess - Zoe Clark - tw: alcoholism, substance abuse
- a star that suddenly increases greatly in brightness because of a catastrophic explosion that ejects most of its mass
As soon as she's able to, Estella learns to drive, desperate for independence and to get away from the tense circumstances at home. She may not be doing well at school, but Estella makes damn sure she passes her driving exams first time. By eighteen, she'd bought her first car. It's not a birthday present, nor did she allow her parents to chip in, proudly purchased using her own money. Between the time of ownership, and going to college, Estella is barely seen at home, always out with friends and often gone for days at a time. She refuses to see herself as just a personal Uber for her friends.
Attending an out-of-state college was an easy decision for her, although against her parents' wishes, concerned for her wellbeing. However, the way Estella saw it, it would be a clean slate for her: a new place, somewhere that no one would know her (as her) and could judge her, meaning that she'd be able to focus and better herself. The college isn't anything to brag about; after all, the results of her final exams were nowhere near adequate to get her into the more prestigious institutes - and she was completely fine with that. Estella studies languages, to be specific, French. Considering she's been fluent since being able to talk, there should have been no reason for it to have not been a breeze for her. For the first time in years, she's top of her class, though only for her first semester.
Estella never planned on standing out. Maybe it was the branded clothing she modelled or the $200k car in the parking lot that gave her away. Ultimately, all it took was a search for her name and, pretty much, her whole childhood and net worth were on show for the globe to see. A dedicated wiki page, her social media handles - suddenly she wasn't as basic as everyone else. She finds her popularity growing rather rapidly and for all the reasons she despised. The attention is overwhelming, being constantly under fire by prying questions, Estella reverts to her nonchalantly lying, once more. She claims her notoriety wasn't a huge deal, just the odd pretty picture on the cover of a magazine, to be thrown away upon the release of a new collection. Only creeps would hold onto photos of a child that wasn't theirs.
You were considered 'cool' if Estella turned up to your house parties - not by her - by those who practically worshipped the ground she walked on for the sake of a glance. Estella was only there, personally, for the alcohol provided. It eased her anticipation, allowing her to be somewhat normal in an otherwise discomfiting scene. By the time when everyone is too drunk to care for her presence, she's already retreated to a quiet corner. She's not exactly sober, by any means, but she's not having a good time either. Estella is approached by a group of girls who point out to her that she's just being used, that everyone just wants a piece of her royalties, only to dump her once they've gotten what they need. They seem genuinely nice, inviting her to hang out with them for the rest of the night so that she doesn't have to spend it alone and around a bunch of intoxicated animals.
Lured back into the cliche by their faux kindness, hanging out with them becomes a regular occurrence, so much so, that she's skipping classes again to meet their demands. It's fine, right? Her grades are stable - how does a French person even fail French, anyhow? They're possessive of her: Estella thinks she's safe when they're the first to shoo off unwelcomed attention. They check in with her regularly, inviting her everywhere with them - brunches, shopping, parties, late-night drives (in Estella's car). They appear to be genuinely good friends, Estella doesn't think twice about sorting their bills when they "lose" their purses and are unable to pay their share of their dates.
They're terrible influences and Estella is kept on short reigns. When house parties become too dull, they have fake IDs forged to get into the more exciting clubs downtown. It's a dangerous game they play, but a sweet smile and a show of some skin seem to be the cheat code to succeeding. After a few drinks, a tipsy Estella is down for anything - she thinks: she's not really in the right state of mind to say 'no' to her friends' misdeeds. Bathroom trips turn into suggestive trysts of roaming hands and the swapping of lipgloss in the stalls. Despite the slurred "I love you"s exchanged, it goes no further than casual flings: sober Estella's anxiety would never have allowed this. There's not much that drunk Estella hasn't been tempted into trying. This was not what her younger self would have had in mind when she wanted to try everything.
Falling back into old habits was inevitable. Estella can't keep up with the work and she's failing again in the second semester. Her attendance in classes is concerning - either just not turning in, or being too sick or hungover to attend. She barely sleeps, or eats, using that time to try and catch up, but it's eating her alive. She's not okay, it's embarrassing. Ignoring her parents' messages asking how she is, finding comfort manifests in the form of hypersexuality: inebriated hookups, no strings attached - like her original pledge to get better. Trapped in a vicious cycle, it doesn't hurt quite as much when you don't remember a thing.
Neutron Star || Pre & Canon Illusion Studios || ♫ Don't Blame Me - Taylor Swift
- the collapsed core of a massive supergiant star.
It’s the morning after one of her nights out, twenty years old, severely hungover and in the bed of one of her regular hook-ups when she gets the initial call. Estella’s too delirious to make out the caller ID, immediately hitting the reject call button before falling back to sleep. She wakes up to a voicemail left by her father. They’ve barely spoken since she left for college: she avoids his attempts to keep in contact with her. Begrudgingly, Estella agrees to meet with him later that evening for dinner - he sounded stressed, which was uncharacteristic of him.
Upon meeting, her father is his typical jovial self, initiating small talk between the two. He asks about college, she provides curt answers, and then he moves the conversation onto work. Estella isn't super interested in his rambling. He's the director of a modelling agency and it's doing well, or so she sees when she occasionally checks in on its social media pages. A part of her resents him and them when she sees all of their smiling faces. Another part wonders how many of them were truly happy, and how many were mistreated before reaching that point. She promised herself that she'd never go back to that kind of environment - she'd rather be a check-out girl for the rest of her life. After dinner, her father pops the question to her - to take over the company - to which she declines without hesitation.
She's not certain what possessed her to eventually give in to her father's proposition. Maybe it was because she felt sorry for him, or because she was failing in college and the idea of being a check-out girl for the rest of her life might have been a little dramatic. Sure, she might have missed classes and spent her evenings participating in no-so-legal recreational activities (but no one needs to know those details), but her health also played a factor in her inability to keep up and that was not her fault. At the end of her second semester, Estella decides to drop out and save herself from having to redo yet another year.
The autumn after she turns twenty-one is when Estella returns home and begins shadowing her father at Illusion Studios. On her first day, she had to be physically dragged into the building by security, overwhelmed to the point of panic by the sheer amount of paparazzi that happened to be stationed outside the front of the building - since then she always uses the back entrance. Her dad swears it wasn't his doing, and teases her about it, to her dismay: she's regretting her decision already and she's only just stepped foot into the place. Estella finds it embarrassing when he introduces her to his colleagues as his daughter, quick to tell them all about her past as a model, but being sure to leave out all the gauche parts. All she can force herself to do is smile politely and laugh along. If she made a good first impression now, then perhaps it would make the whole thing a little less uncomfortable when her time came.
Paperwork was expected and yet she's left dumbfounded when she sees how much there is to do (a lot). Spending hours sitting in an office, just staring at paper, became the norm, her brain working overtime as she tried to comprehend everything her father was explaining to her. Estella doesn't understand how there could be so much after learning that there's a total of seven models to the agency's name, she constantly forgets that she's not just a manager to the models but the entirety of the staff in the building - security, receptionists, make-up artists, stylists, general interns, the supervisors under her: the lot. The reality that she was here to become the "big boss" was so strange to her. She's certain that she was the last person any of them were expecting to see become the agency's future director.
Estella's encouraged to get involved with what would be her father's final project for the agency before it's left in her hands. She's provided a stack (more a mountain in her eyes) of portfolios and is prompted to narrow it down to a few potential talents: her father wanted to invite one more model to the team. She definitely didn’t dispose of half of them instantly, while her father wasn’t looking - how was she supposed to know who would be a good fit to complement the current troupe, just by looking at a bunch of photos? Not to mention that she’d only met the current residents extremely briefly, Estella had nothing to go off of. It was unfair. A long and gruelling process, her selection ends up being composed of some of the more quirky-looking models, for diversity purposes. After all, if the agency was to remain a standout from its competition, it needed to avoid homogeneity.
The Festival of Choir and Winds: a grandiose affair, and the last test of Estella's patience, which her father drags her along with him to. He enjoys attending functions like this - the highly sociable creature that he is - it also serves as the perfect opportunity to create connections for business. Had Estella not been left traumatized, she'd probably be on the path of becoming just like him. He's so carefree. She's careful, stiff, needing a proding reminder (or two) to fix her face, having developed a bad case of RBF. The second she's able to escape his attempts to lighten her mood with his, in her opinion, awful humour, Estella is gone and weaving her way through crowds with the lingering elegance of her past.
There was no doubt that she'd eventually run into him again, her father was so loud, that it was difficult not to his joyous laughter from across the hall. Right now, Estella just needed something to soothe her anxiety. They typically served champagne at these kinds of events - right? It wasn't her go-to drink, but at the end of the day, alcohol was alcohol, a temporary fix or liquid courage, as some called it. They wouldn't be lying: the things that it had allowed Estella to do - things she would never consider doing without - had become blurred memories by morning. Before she knows it, Estella finds herself stranded, not sure if she's even supposed to be there in the first place. Her attention is snatched by a voice of delicacy, and a song that resonates off the walls.
Estella isn't religious, but she swears she met an angel that day.
Waking up is the worst part of Estella's day because, no matter how long she sleeps, she never feels totally recharged, dreading the moment her alarm sounds to pull herself out of the cocoon she somehow manages to wrap herself in (she's a blanket hog: that's how). Her morning routine: teeth; shower - Estella is particularly fond of the coconut-scented conditioner she bought recently; skincare and make-up - natural with bold eyes; her hair's pretty fine so it's mostly dry at this point, she just finishes it off with a hairdryer on low heat to protect her curls. Most days, there is little effort that goes into styling her hair: Estella is content with the slightly tousled look it takes on naturally. Her wardrobe is large, with a lot of designer, and a lot of black, white, and neutral colours - you can't go wrong with that colour palette. For work, she typically wears some kind of three-piece suit, her favourite set is completely white.
At twenty-three years old, she has - so far and somehow - managed to survive her first year as the official Director of Illusion Studios. Most of her day is usually spent tucked away in the office, working on the behind-the-scenes tasks. Common duties include taking phone calls that aren't just general inquiries, overseeing the company's finances, making decisions to promote the company, and ensuring that everyone is performing to the company's standards. She's not sure she's cut out for this - completely unorganised, both her head and office space. There are occasions when she'll float around the establishment, usually when the paperwork gets a little too much, needing a break and a change of scenery. It also allows her to check in with everyone, she's gotten a little better at that, even though supervising shoots still makes her incredibly tense.
It's likely due to their similar ages that her relationship with the models is very relaxed. Estella doesn't have it in her, and lacks the experience in general, to be an assertive leader, simply a more awkward, less energetic version of her father who treats them more like friends than employees. While under the roof of the agency, she often blinds herself to their less acceptable antics, not wanting to stir up conflict and cause bitterness within the group. That stems from her childhood trauma. Discipline is typically left to be dished out by the group's manager: her darling. She's indebted to Dezerae, for all that she does. Hopefully, her adoration for her is enough to pay that off.
Posted: Sun, 22/01/2023 18:14 (1 Year ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Headcanons ⁺₊✧
Stelle, who..?
Themes...
✧ Stelle, whose signature flower is Ivy (Hedera helix); symbolizing everlasting life, devotion, fidelity, and loyalty.
✧ Stelle, whose signature animal is the Domestic Silk Moth (Bombyx mori); symbolizing loss, mourning, grief, and dependence.
✧ Stelle, whose signature color is Ivory; symbolizing innocence, opulence, and elegance; to some people, ivory represents a tainted purity.
Appearance...
✧ Stelle, who could be dressed each morning by the studio’s stylists, but doesn’t due to not being comfortable with the touch of people she isn’t close to; however, who is she to deny her darling’s want to fuss over her?
✧ Stelle, whose chapstick collection is absurd because she's always "losing" them, buying replacements, only to miraculously find them again, in her car, in the depths of her handbags... Her favorite flavor is strawberry.
✧ Stelle, who won't "excuse her French", reserving her native language to insult idiots or compliment her lover: "ma chérie".
Career...
✧ Stelle, who gets embarrassed when people discover her old modeling photos, to the point where she will deliberately deny them being her - it’s the same feeling when moms pull out the baby photos.
✧ Stelle, who doesn't realize it during the moment, but doodles on her paperwork when she spaces out while working. It typically looks like a bunch of scribbles but - if you squint - there is an actual image.
✧ Stelle, who is skilled at drawing and can draw faces from memory, when focused. She draws "fanart"- as they call it - of her darling, but is too embarrassed to actually give it to her.
✧ Stelle, who takes a risk and personally designs her models' outfits for their larger events, in secret. To avoid confrontation by the press, her designs fall under the alias "Étoile", which pays tribute to her father's nickname for her.
✧ Stelle, who signs off her work as, simply, "𝓔𝓑.".
✧ Stelle, who isn't great at being a spokesperson - especially a sober one - and prepares scripts/notes for meetings and interviews in advance. Despite her efforts, she usually gets nervous and improvises anyway.
Childhood...
✧ Stelle, who (when alone) apologizes for her actions to a picture of her younger self that her father had left behind - she keeps it in her desk drawer.
Lifestyle...
✧ Stelle, who is ID’d almost everywhere she goes because of her baby face; it’s a running joke at local bars that she’s been of legal drinking age for a while now - she hasn’t, it’s only been 2 years.
✧ Stelle, who updates her social media profile pictures once a year - or longer - due to her camera fear; Her personal accounts feature only a handful of portraits. It’s even rarer that she features on the company accounts.
✧ Stelle, who is a chronic blanket thief!! She claims it’s because she “gets cold”, but it’s more so because she craves the comfort of having something soft to hold.
✧ Stelle, who too often replaces meals with protein bars/shakes - she doesn't even like them that much: they're just convenient.
✧ Stelle, who never really knows where she wants to go out to eat; however, Italian dishes are amongst her favorites - she just doesn’t eat them often due to being scolded one time, as a child, for staining a dress with pasta sauce.
✧ Stelle, who is an emotional drunk - one too many is all it takes for all of the thoughts in her pretty head to roll off of her tongue, although they might not make much sense in the current moment.
Love...
✧ Stelle, who listens to her darling’s songs while driving, even though they often make her cry.
✧ Stelle, whose favorite way to hold her darling is from behind to hide a bashful smile; but, also to pretend not to hear them when cuddling time is over.
✧ Stelle, who loves candles that remind her of her darling and her favorite scents - she lights them in moments she’s alone, finding the aromas comforting. Very insistent on needing to replace them when she can no longer burn them.
✧ Stelle, who adores her darling, but finds their choice of pet names to be a little peculiar… like, in what way does she even resemble a moth?
Posted: Wed, 25/01/2023 20:00 (1 Year ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Gallery ⁺₊✧
AI Generated
"Flower Girl"
"Working Class"
"The Forbidden Baby Album"
"Alternative Outfit Inspo"
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Posted: Thu, 30/05/2024 01:16 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Mood Board ⁺₊✧
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Posted: Mon, 03/06/2024 12:25 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Word Association ⁺₊✧
lazy wip c':
An Animal || Domestic Silk Moth
“Silk moths can’t fly. It’s been bred out of them for five thousand years. The adults are only needed to make more worms.
Most aren’t meant to live long enough to break the chrysalis; flight’s an unnecessary trait.”
— Genevieve Valentine
Bombyx mori, commonly referred to as the domestic silk moth, is a type of moth that falls under the Bombycidae family. It shares a close kinship with Bombyx mandarina, the wild silk moth. Silkworms are the caterpillars of silk moths, and they hold great economic value as the primary producers of silk.
Compared to their wild counterparts, the domestic silk moths possess larger cocoons, bodies, and a faster growth rate. They have also developed an increased tolerance towards human interaction and living in crowded environments. These moths are unable to fly, so their male counterparts require assistance from humans to find a mate.
Due to their captive lifestyle, the domestic silk moths have lost their natural pigmentation and appear leucistic: camouflage is no longer needed. These significant changes have rendered Bombyx mori entirely reliant on humans for survival and have ceased to exist in the wild.
❀ Dependency || ❀ Transformation and Rebirth || ❀ Sacrifice
❀ Mourning || ❀ Seeker of Protection
A Flower || Ivy
“When the ivy has found its tower, when the delicate creeper has found its strong wall,
we know how the parasite plants grow and prosper.”
— Anthony Trollope
Hedera helix, the common ivy, is a species of flowering plant in the family Araliaceae. It is native to most of Europe and parts of western Asia. Ivy is a clinging evergreen vine that grows on tree trunks, walls, and fences in gardens, waste spaces, and wild habitats. It is popular as an ornamental plant, but escaped plants have become naturalised outside its native range.
However, ivy can be problematic. It is a fast-growing, self-clinging climber that is capable of causing damage to brickwork, guttering, etc., and hiding potentially serious structural faults, as well as harbouring unwelcome pests.
Ivy is closely associated with the Greek god Dionysus, often depicted in literature and art as being wreathed in ivy. He used ivy to ensnare women in mystical awe and delirium whenever they refused to worship him. Once they were caught under his spell, these women went to the mountains, where they joined the Maenads, Dionysus’ female followers.
❀ Clinging Fidelity || ❀ Eternity || ❀ Devotion
❀ Remembrance || ❀ Affectionate Attachments
A Colour || Ivory
“My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel.”
— George R. R. Martin
An off-white color named after, and derived from, the material made from the tusks and teeth of certain animals. As a neutral, ivory is a calming colour. It carries some of the same pureness, softness, and cleanliness of white but is slightly richer and a touch warmer. To some, however, ivory is seen as a symbol of tainted innocence.
Often associated with purity and elegance, in Western culture, it is frequently linked to weddings and similar formal occasions. In Eastern cultures, ivory has been used for centuries in the creation of decorative objects and religious artifacts.
❀ (Tainted) Purity || ❀ Peace || ❀ Surrender
❀ Passing Time || ❀ Slight Warmth
A Gemstone || Moonstone
“Cloud steamed from its scales – scales of moonstone, so bright they seemed to glow from within. A crust of gem-like droplets glistened on each one. Each eye was a burning star, and each horn was quicksilver, agleam under the pallid moon.”
— Samantha Shannon
Moonstone is a sodium potassium aluminium silicate of the feldspar group that displays a pearly and opalescent schiller. The name moonstone derives from the stone's characteristic visual effect, called adularescence (schiller), which produces a milky, bluish interior light, which is caused by light diffraction through alternating layers of orthoclase and albite within the stone.
Moonstone opens the heart to nurturing qualities as well as assisting in the acceptance of love. It is an excellent crystal for first or new love and is a comforting talisman if love must be kept a secret. It is also believed to be able to reunite loved ones who had parted in anger.
Moonstone is one of the best gems for emotional signs and is actually considered a traditional birthstone for Cancers. Connected to the mother moon and the water element, this stone is also full to the brim of Cancerian energy. The meaning of moonstone is also known for being an energy stone that illuminates truth and helps you tap into your intuition. Wearing moonstone can help you to feel nurtured, balanced, and connected to your sense of truth.
❀ Gentle Energy || ❀ Healing || ❀ Calm
❀ Protection || ❀ Yin
A Fragrance || White Florals
“Wearing the white flower of a blameless life, Before a thousand peering littlenesses,
In that fierce light which beats upon a throne, And blackens every blot.”
— Alfred Lord Tennyson
White flowers are some of the most romantic in perfumery. Examples include lilies, jasmine, ylang ylang, and lily of the valley. When these dominate - they can exist as an ode to a single flower or a bouquet - the fragrance is known as a ‘white floral’.
❀ Feminine || ❀ Sophisticated || ❀ Elegant
❀ Romantic || ❀ Dreaming
An Article of Clothing || Veil
“Virtue has a veil, vice is a mask.”
— Victor Hugo
A veil is an article of clothing or hanging cloth that is intended to cover some part of the head or face, or an object of some significance. The practice of veiling is especially associated with women and sacred objects, though in some cultures, it is men, rather than women, who are expected to wear a veil.
The veil has a history going back thousands of years, its evolution as religious symbols to fashion statements reflecting the changing currents of society. In ancient Greece, the veil was a sign of respectability and high status. It distinguished women who were protected and women with loose morals. With the rise of the Roman Empire, women wore the veil as a symbol of their marital bond. Even as a part of mourning customs, a veil was commonly seen as a means of shielding the mourner and hiding her grief. Widows in the Victorian era were expected to wear mourning veils for at least three months and up to two and a half years.
Veiling continues to play a role in some modern secular contexts, such as wedding customs, used to symbolize modesty before God, obedience, and when the veil is white, chastity, particularly in Western Christian Culture. Veils also serve to hide the bride's face from the groom prior to the wedding, as superstition says that it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony.
❀ Humility || ❀ Illusion || ❀ Pre-enlightenment
❀ Ignorance || ❀ Sheltered
A Time of Day || Twilight
“If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.”
— Khalil Gibran
In its most general sense, twilight is the period of time before sunrise and after sunset, in which the atmosphere is partially illuminated by the sun, being neither totally dark or completely lit.
❀ Uncertainty || ❀ Transition || ❀ Hope
❀ Impermanence || ❀ Reflection
A Season || Winter
“Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me.”
— Anne Morrough Lindbergh
info
❀ Death || ❀ Sorrow || ❀ Silence
❀ Hardships || ❀ Transitions
A Place || Paris, France
“Fluctuat nec mergitur: [She] is tossed [by the waves], but does not sink.”
— The city's motto
info
❀ Light || ❀ Love || ❀ Fashion
❀ History || ❀ Intellectualism
Posted: Sun, 09/06/2024 22:24 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Playlist ⁺₊✧
❀ Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
"If I just lay here | Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
❀ Clarity - Zedd (ft. Foxes)
"If our love is tragedy | Why are you my remedy?"
❀ Dandelions - Ruth B.
"And I see forever in your eyes | I feel okay when I see you smile, smile"
❀ Enchanted - Taylor Swift
"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew | I was enchanted to meet you"
❀ Even Though I'm Leaving - Luke Combs
"Daddy, please don't go, I can't do this on my own | There's no way that I can walk this road alone"
❀ Hot Mess - Zoe Clark
"I'm a blessed one, stressed one, a little bit depressed one | But if I'm a mess, might as well be a hot one"
❀ Hurricane - Luke Combs
"Then you rolled in with your hair in the wind, baby without warning | I was doing alright but just your sight had my heart storming"
❀ I Really Wish I Hated You - blink-182
"Save me from myself, the way you used to | 'Cause I don't really like myself without you"
❀ I’m a Mess - Avril Lavigne (ft. YUNGBLUD)
"It hasn't been the same since that night | I wish I said I loved you just one more time"
❀ Love Story - Indila
"Prends ma main | Promets-moi que tout ira bien"
❀ Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter
"Lookin' at you got me thinkin' nonsense | Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in"
❀ Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold
"Do you ever get a little bit tired of life | Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die"
❀ Rain On Me - Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande
"I can feel it on my skin (It's coming down on me) | Teardrops on my face (Water like misery)"
❀ Stargazing - Myles Smith
"Take my heart, don't break it | Love me to my bones"
❀ Strawberries and Cigarettes - Troye Sivan
"Long nights, daydreams | Sugar and smoke rings, I've been a fool"
❀ Take Me To Church - Hozier
"I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies | I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife"
❀ Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne
"'Cause I'm feeling nervous | Trying to be so perfect"
❀ Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
"I'm wide awake and I can see | The perfect sky is torn"
❀ World’s Smallest Violin - AJR
"Next to them, my ... don't feel so grand | But I can't help myself from feeling bad"
Posted: Sat, 15/06/2024 14:23 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Behind The Scenes: Creating Estella ⁺₊✧
tba
Posted: Mon, 17/06/2024 14:02 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Solanum dulcamara ⁺₊✧
Bittersweet nightshade | a symbol of fidelity
Wrapped in a blanket, Estella sits nestled in the corner of her couch, legs tucked beneath her, with a near-empty glass in her hand. A warm welcoming glow is cast through the windows of her penthouse apartment, hues of orange painting the walls, as the sun begins to set over the sprawling skyscrapers of New York City for the evening. The faint scent of cinnamon lingers in the air, sticky and sweet, just like the liquor residue on her lips. Licking them wet, notes of honey and spices dance on her tongue. It was almost the perfect way to end a long day of work. Almost...
She chuckles to herself dryly. What was she even doing here?
It had been a month since she had, officially, taken over her father's position as Director of Illusion Studios, and the regret that plagued her from day one had refused to settle. While most others would be over the moon about such a promotion, Estella couldn't feel more out of place. Despite all those years, swearing to herself that she would never have anything to do with modeling - or the industry in general - after the experience she had, yet here she was, expected to continue the legacy of one of the most prestigious agencies. Seemingly, an impossible task.
She brings the glass to her lips. This feels wrong.
The burn that surges down her throat as she swallows is one that Estella has become accustomed to, no longer one of discomfort, but the opposite rather; A bittersweet reminder of the risks she's taking. Nonetheless, this was just another promise she couldn't keep. She'll cut back - she said. She'll stop - she said. It was much easier said than done, especially when it was the only thing that could temporarily cease her worries. A moment of peace from her thoughts is all she craves.
She glances over to the bottle on the kitchen counter. One more wouldn't hurt.
Except it was never just one more. Not her first and likely not her last. But the bottle was now nearing empty, Estella taking that as her sign that her night was nearly over as warm fuzziness began to engulf her head. She’d regret it in the morning, when it all caught up to her, only for her to do it all over again. The feeling was hard to explain: the drinks, which were strong enough to block out her grief one moment, only to have her overthinking everything the next. One thing she knew for sure was that she needed to find a healthier coping mechanism as the liquor affected not only her mental state but her physical health too.
She feels a wetness roll down her face. God - why was she crying?
It was her fault - all of it. At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself. Had she been honest about everything from the start, would she be in this position now? Or could she be living out her silly childhood dream, still, wearing pretty dresses like the princesses in the fairytales that her father would speak of at bedtime? Estella had no idea how to begin putting together the words without feeling sick to her stomach from being reminded of that day. So she keeps it to herself, pushing it further into the back of her mind and hoping she just forgets. She doesn’t want to the disappointment on their faces again: her main reason for agreeing to this damned job.
She dabs at her weeping eyes, cursing to herself as her make-up smears on the cuffs of her shirt. She regrets this.
Yet, like the wildflowers that manage to bloom, even outside of their native habitats, Estella stubbornly refuses to ask for help. If proving her worth and devotion to her family meant enduring the torturous path until she, physically, no longer can - she would.
Posted: Tue, 18/06/2024 02:58 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Estella Blake: In The Bag ⁺₊✧
prompt
“Aha… That’s where it was…”
“It’s all essential - I swear!”
“I don’t even know how that got in there. This isn’t even mine, is it..?”
Estella hoards, unintentionally: She forgets it's in there and buys unnecessary replacements.
She looks like a squirrel when she's digging through the damn thing to find a specific chapstick she dropped in there.
Casually, just dumps the whole thing out in her car, but she's panicking internally.
Need something? Estella probably has it - you'll just have to give her a hot minute to look <3
Phone
"Those messages? It's probably just the work group chat - I'll check later."
Arguably, it is the most important thing in her bag. Estella uses the same phone for - both - work and whatever social life she has left. Why not just have two separate phones? She could easily afford to do so. However, she's a stress-head as it is, and having two phones constantly pinging with notifications might actually drive her to insanity. Estella finds using her phone to log upcoming appointments much more convenient than writing them in a physical diary, where they are more likely to be forgotten. Her lock screen wallpaper is a photo of her darling <3
Key Chain
"..and this one, I got from when I went to ... that one time."
The little twinkling sound that follows her. It holds her car keys, key card, and a key to her family's home back in Brooklyn. They tend to be hidden amongst the masses of charms she's obtained over the years, from gifts to travelling souvenirs.
Wallet
"No, it's okay - I'll pay for this, I insist."
And what's in her wallet? Estella doesn't usually carry much cash, not when she's paying for everything
Makeup Kit
"Stop staring at me, I need to concentrate - We're already late, and I can't be seen looking like this."
Tissues. Wipes. Small things like concealer, mascara, eye and lip pencils, setting powder, etc. Whether it be from listening to a particularly sad song or pre-meeting stress, Miss Girl cries a lot and refuses to be seen in such a state. So please excuse her if she's a little late, she just needs a minute or five to freshen up c':
Feminine Products
"Do I have...? Of course I have- oh... Don't worry, I've got you."
In case of emergencies - you never know! They should be a staple in every bag, even if it's to help another girlfriend out <3
Hair Elastics
"I think these might be yours?"
Now, these definitely aren't hers. Estella doesn't tie her hair up: she doesn't like the look, while having shorter hair. Her hair is fine enough to be pinned back with a couple of bobby pins, should she ever decide to change up the style. At the same time, she has no idea how she's managed to collect these. But, they're there if someone needs one.
Perfume
"It's 'The Alchemist's Garden', Gucci; I'd recommend it, if it's in your budget."
Estella's favorite scents for casual days tend to have sweet and light floral notes, nothing that's too overpowering but also tends to be on the pricier end. Cheap drugstore body sprays remind her of the nights spent in musky clubs during her rebellious teen years.
"Snacks"
"I'll join you for lunch as soon as I've finished this paperwork."
A protein bar that has been sitting in the bottom of her bag since last week. It was meant to have been her "lunch" but she probably got too busy and forgot. She keeps meaning to take it out and throw it, but as the saying goes: out of sight, out of mind. She also carries mints, or gum (bad breath isn't attractive!), as well as a container of gummy vitamins for the days she's feeling a little lower than usual. Electrolyte sachets! They were recommended to her, once, as a way to supplement her poor diet. The last thing she needs is to become dependent on caffeine to keep her fueled throughout the day.
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Posted: Tue, 18/06/2024 11:11 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Stelle & Jealousy ⁺₊✧
“My face..? What’s wrong with my face?”
“I’m not angry. What reason would I have to be angry?”
"You’re thinking too deeply into this, I said I’m fine."
Deny! Deny! Deny!
However, the pout on her face says otherwise, and the not-so-subtle side glances of judgment?
Girl. Is. Fuming.
Now, Estella is naturally a bit of a grump and, at times, a dramatic one.
She recognizes that she’s often triggered by things that may seem downright silly to others.
Please don’t bug her about it - she's embarrassed and hates the confrontation even more.
In the moments that she snaps back, she’s merely being defensive of her insecurity.
All bark, no bite - but she doesn't actually mean what she says (usually).
Estella takes a more passive/passive-aggressive approach to these feelings; She'd never consider raising a hand.
Stelle, who has been hurt in the past, her innocence taken advantage of by someone whom she'd trusted.
Stelle, who has been used by another and led to believe that it was love.
Stelle, whose feelings have become confusing, and even more so now when it's serious - she's doing her best.
Communication is a major struggle for her and in this case, conveying the issues that have caused these feelings to stir.
It largely stems from an unresolved assault on her, as well as her parents' inconsideration of her stress that resulted from it.
They were none the wiser, but perhaps she was just being a "spoilt brat" about it - a snide remark once made by her mother.
Estella becomes withdrawn, suddenly disappearing as she supposedly remembers something important she needs to do.
Resorts to giving the silent treatment: she won't tell you what you've done wrong.
She can't discern whether she's more angry at you or herself.
She’ll recollect herself in her own time, before reemerging like nothing had ever happened.
Whether it be after a few hours, a day, a strong drink, or a nap later.
It's not healthy to bottle everything up, but what other choice does she have when she feels as though no one takes her seriously?
"...can we still cuddle tonight?"
Stelle, who is extra clingy after recovering from a jealous episode, out of guilt; but also to get across the point of how much she truly cares.
Posted: Thu, 20/06/2024 15:04 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ "Shark Week" ⁺₊✧
“How do I cancel this subscription?”
“I’m gay - I don’t need monthly confirmation to tell me that there’s no child in there.”
"Why is my body angry for not having a child, when it'll only hurt ten times more to have said child?"
No, because why are the first few days actually the worst?
Stelle, who is usually pretty moody anyway, may just bite you if you touch her.
And while, yes, the cramps hurt, it’s the audacity that nature still forces her to go through it, that kills her off.
Stelle, who looks into birth control, because she heard once that they can end the torturous cycle.
Blanket thievery becomes more prominent; she makes a little nest, almost, just to get comfy.
Stelle, who wouldn’t typically refuse cuddles, but approach at your own risk (and bring painkillers).
While common cravings include things like chocolate and ice cream, Estella likes chilled parfaits!
Stelle, who rarely eats desserts - but a custardy French-styled parfait is just so nostalgic, while the American ones are super easy and convenient to make.
Although very dramatic about the whole ordeal at home, she still has an image and reputation to maintain when working.
Stelle, who isn’t swayed by that time of the month from wearing her favorite white three-pieces; she just takes extra care, even if it means attending to certain affairs a little late.
Stelle’s favorite shark? Admittedly, she’s not well-versed in the different species.
But, probably a hammerhead, because they look goofy.
Posted: Sun, 23/06/2024 02:20 (5 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Driving With Stelle ⁺₊✧
“Slow down? There's literally nothing in front of us-”
“Cet idiot-! Do they not know what their blinkers are for??”
"I don’t care who started it, if you all don’t start behaving like adults, I’ll stop this car and you can walk."
Estella got her car as soon as she acquired her license at the age of eighteen.
It's her baby, her first "big" purchase with this newfound independence.
We’re not talking a few hundred on a designer bag, or a couple thousand on a tailor-made dress: that’s pocket money to her.
She has, easily, dropped over 200k on the thing alone - in instalments, of course, for credit purposes.
That does not include the modifications and regular maintenance she's had on it since.
But, contrary to her investments, she knows near to nothing about cars - it simply being a symbol of her status, back in the day.
Estella is very insistent on being able to drive herself to places, in spite of the security concerns from others.
She'd roll her eyes at them, but that'd be unprofessional of her.
In her eyes, her fame has long gone, unlikely that anyone would recognise her for her past feats, now.
She finds the passenger experience awkward, not really knowing where her attention should be.
While she could have the luxury of having a personal driver, she'd just rather not..?
So chauffeurs are typically reserved for group events - her car just isn’t big enough to transport her whole team.
Despite her unorganised character, Estella’s car is immaculate (perhaps not the glove box, but no one needs to be in there.)
It always smells nice, like polished leather, and whatever fancy diffuser she has picked out.
She has the car professionally cleaned once a week unless she’s busy and needs the car for travelling purposes.
She doesn’t typically allow - trust is probably more accurate - anyone else to drive her car.
Estella made that mistake shortly after getting the car, mortified when it cost her a repaint to cover up some scratches.
If she’s in a good mood, she’ll toss the volunteer her keys for a reaction, only to quickly snatch them back.
Her darling gets passenger princess privileges, always!
Too stuffy? We've got AC. Cold? Heated seats. Music? Your choice <3
Estella won’t admit it, but she finds it somewhat amusing whenever anyone else tries to fight for that place.
AUX control is prioritised by: her passenger, first, and then backseat guests.
Don’t expect her to sing along, she isn't going to embarrass herself like that.
She’ll only play her personal playlists on solo drives - they contain sensitive songs that, more often than not, end with tears.
Estella considers herself a decent driver; quiet, but that’s because she’s focusing, especially in the city traffic - it gets chaotic.
All is usually chill until she hits the freeway and there’s a decent distance between her and the car in front.
Fasten your seatbelts and say your prayers, because the accelerator is being stepped on.
Road rage? She'll deny that, also.
Estella's not aggressive, it's just "the French accent" whenever she mutters to herself after crossing paths with a bad driver.
It's honestly understandable when people forget the basic fundamentals of driving,
She doesn't like drive-thrus, but if outnumbered by her entourage, she’ll begrudgingly divert to appease them.
While convenient, it leaves so much rubbish littering her car - she expects everyone to clean up after themselves.
Her standard order is just a small fries and diet soda.
Driving advice from Stelle?
Make sure you're in the right lane; Indicate your turnings; Don't drive up her rear - she will test your breaks.
Also, don't drink and drive! Because she's definitely never ignored that one, ever.
Posted: Sat, 29/06/2024 01:02 (4 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Dandelion ⁺₊✧
Alternate Arc / Stelle's Vengence
[ A Damsel in Distress ]
- with only a few more months until NYFW, a stressed Stelle calls her father for support.
Calling him was her last resort. Estella rarely calls (him, especially), but she’s dialled the number five times in the past half-hour, her voice painfully cracking as she leaves a voicemail when there’s no answer. New York Fashion Week was just a couple of months away, yet everything was in shambles. She’s stressed, evident by her panda-eyed look - Estella’s not sure if it’s just smudged makeup from crying, or dark circles from being unable to sleep. Her rough appearance is the last of her worries: she hasn’t emerged from her apartment in three - or was it four? - days now, nothing but silence from her. If anyone had the ability to find a light amidst the tumult, it would be her father. It would always be him.
There’s no warning, not even a reply from him. Estella’s so out of it that she doesn’t hear him arrive, scaring the living daylights out of her when she finally notices him standing at the office door later that evening, a takeout bag in hand. The gloomy state in which he finds her is pitiful. Few words are exchanged between them before she disappears to freshen up with her father promising to put together dinner. By the time she gets back, their plates are on the dining table: shrimp fettuccine, salad, breadsticks with various dipping sauces. She’s speechless, grateful for the thought. Though, the fearful expression on her face at the amount of food before her may have indicated otherwise. The last time she had a proper meal? Who knows.
"I hope you don't mind that it’s not the authentic stuff, but it was the closest place - the traffic is awful around here at this time.”
"I also have strawberry cream cake, if you can give me back an empty plate."
[ Deal with the Devil ]
- Callistus presents his daughter with a solution, but she's not amused by his suggestion.
✧ meeting with her father the following day, and listening to his solutions
✧ rejecting them bc of trauma :)
“It's a terrible idea - do you have any idea what image that would leave on the company?”
“I’m not doing it. Like you said, there’s not enough time to prepare someone new. I’d rather go with one less model.”
[ Undertaker ]
- to give her younger self the send-off she deserves, Estella begrudgingly agrees.
✧
✧ down the rabbit hole that is childhood memories w stelle !!
✧ estella never "officially" agrees, but starts taking care of herself for the sake of healing the ghost of her past
“quote”
“quote”
[ Fit for a Sinner ]
- collaborating with designers to create her outfit, fulfilling the role of 'Lust'.
✧ estella entrusts the agency in her father's hands while she travels and meets with designers
✧ artist!stelle; so many sketches, so undecisive
✧ exploring the implications of 'lust'
“quote”
“quote”
[ Flash-Bang ]
- confronting trauma; Estella is scheduled for private photoshoots to acclimate her back into modelling.
✧ panic- help- it's so awkward, her body will not work the way she wants it to-
✧ she thinks they're silly, and doesn't take them seriously
✧ playing off her fear as just being insecure about herself
“quote”
“quote”
[ Blindsighted ]
- figuring out a way to make Stelle more comfortable in front of the cameras.
✧ seeing her outfit for the first time and hating it
✧ participating in a dress rehearsal and lowkey embarrassing herself in front of everyone?? she just can't do it-
✧ a lot of angry French noises in her office; girl's so frustrated and actually threatens to quit
“quote”
“quote”
[ Death Comes Knocking ]
- on the day of NYFW; Estella getting cold feet.
[ ... ]
“quote”
“quote”
[ Katabasis ]
- Stelle's final runway walk.
[ ... ]
“quote”
“quote”
[ Resurrection ]
- putting her past to rest.
[ ... ]
“quote”
“quote”
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Posted: Tue, 02/07/2024 02:35 (4 Months ago)
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Callistus
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Character Sheet ⁺₊✧
✧ Theme Song - info
_____✧ Etymology
Callistus - cuh.lis.tus
Derived from the Greek name Κάλλιστος (Kallistos) meaning "most beautiful".
Other variants of the name include: ‘Callisto’, ‘Calixte’, and ‘Calixtus’
The spelling perhaps influenced by the Latin ‘calix’ meaning ‘wine cup’.
✧ Demographics
★ Date of Birth: December 2nd | ★ Star Sign: Sagittarius | ★ Age: 46 years old
★ Gender: Male | ★ Pronouns: He/Him | ★ Sexuality: Hetero
★ Nationality: French | ★ Place of Birth: Marseille, France
✧ Introduction
“Stelle - I didn’t pass my good looks on to you for you to look so miserable. Lighten up a bit: smile!”
Callistus, a magnetic and influential figure, held the esteemed position of director at Illusion Studios, a renowned modeling agency nestled in the bustling streets of New York City. Nearly twenty years ago, he made the pivotal decision to acquire the company, which at the time bore a different name and did not enjoy the same level of recognition it does today. Being a witness to his young daughter's happiness and meteoric ascent in the industry was what motivated this decision. Despite his lack of prior experience in the world of fashion, Callistus possessed an astute ability to identify raw talent and, as a result, succeeded in nurturing a formidable and committed roster that captivated the public's attention.
As the agency's acclaim surged, a flood of applications poured in, seeking to join the ranks. Yet, the fleeting nature of the clients' engagements became apparent as they completed only a handful of bookings before departing, despite Illusion Studios' budding reputation in the industry. Callistus experienced conflicting emotions in response. On one hand, in the eyes of a father, he took pride in witnessing his clients' growth, likening it to the fledgling flight of baby birds leaving the nest for the first time. On the other hand, as a businessman, he couldn't afford to continue incurring losses to his competitors. To address this, Callistus ultimately made the decision to substantially reduce the number of models under his supervision. Instead, he opted to focus on a smaller, yet permanent group, enabling him to devote his undivided attention to shaping them into exemplars of absolute perfection.
✧ Appearance
The secret to looking this good at his age? Despite his age, he is without the common signs of aging, his skin smooth and clear, and lacking silver streaks in his hair. Most would say that this is only possible for someone with money to spare. While this it partly true, Callistus would say that it's all about finding happiness as one's self. Callistus' philosophy in life is simple yet powerful - focus on the good, and the rest will fall into place. He embraces whatever life has to throw at him with a confident grin, believing that showing any signs of worry will only ruin the mood. It takes more muscles and effort to frown, so why not just smile?
You've surely seen those giant teddy bears in the totally-not-rigged claw machines in the arcades. That's Callistus. Intimidatingly huge, but a complete softie in nature. In a more literal sense, Callistus stands at 6'2, is broad-shouldered, but not quite as lean as he used to be - he's let himself go a little, indulging in the many pleasures that life has to offer, since stepping down as the Director of Illusion Studios. A little rugged looking, he has a thick mane of curly dark brown hair, which is often slightly unkempt from being tangled by the wind as he goes about his day. His eyes are a deep brown, exuding warmth and gentleness.
✧ Personality
★ Personality type (MBTI): ENFP-A | ★ Personality type (Enneagram): 7w8 | ★ Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral?
"Here for a good time, not a long time" - isn't that what all the cool kids say? Callistus exists as a free spirit, living his life to the beat of his own drum, and does so seldom without a smile. Highly outgoing, his natural charisma is magnetic and draws in crowds effortlessly. Callistus loves to socialize and connect, having no qualms about jumping into a spontaneous conversation with others, whether it be with passing strangers or close friends. His age, despite slowly creeping up on him, has seemingly not stunted his youthful energy. He often spills whatever is on his mind, without filter, and without thinking. Because of this, he can be quite troublesome to be around. Although he never means any harm, his teasing sometimes gets a little out of hand, especially when his daughter is on the receiving end.
Although always looking at the brighter side of life may appear as a positive trait, it's also one of Callistus' biggest downfalls. Brushing off his own needs in order to earn the endorsement of others has made him unreliable, as a manager, but also as a father, by failing to recognize the seriousness behind one's distress. Callistus' need to make everyone feel included leaves no room for real leadership, dismissing the flaws of others so that their more favorable qualities can shine, ultimately leading Illusion Studios to become riddled with the complex issues of its residents.
✧ Early Life
Surprisingly, Callistus' relationship with his parents was never close. His mother, a simple housewife, and his father, an artist (a clothes designer, to be more precise), were often preoccupied with their own pursuits. His father, in particular, was a recluse who spent most of his time in his atelier, leaving Callistus to his own devices. With little structure or guidance at home, Callistus spent his younger years with his friends, engaging in typical mischievous boyhood activities. However, as Callistus entered his teenage years, his parents began to feel the need to instill some discipline and responsibility in him to keep him anchored from a future of deviance. They believed that a job would provide him with a sense of purpose and keep him grounded. By then, his father's reputation and work had gained recognition, and Callistus took on the role of a salesperson for his father's designs.
By the young age of twenty, Callistus had become the spokesperson for his father's work, which often required of him to attend formal affairs in his place. It had been a last minute switch, after his father came down with a sickness, that meant Callistus had to be present at this specific showcase. Upon meeting the gaze of the model who would be wearing his father's latest creation, Callistus experienced the metaphoric butterflies and - perhaps for the very first time - struggled to put his words together. If he didn't believe in love at first sight beforehand, he sure did now, stuttering with a nervous laugh as he tried his best to remain professional. So Callistus did what he did best, charming her with his honeyed words and cheesy gestures. Even after she traveled back to America, they kept in contact. Sometime after, a long-distance relationship was established between them.
He's a married man by the age of twenty-two and several months later, he becomes a father to his daughter, Estella. He was an extremely anxious father, especially during the first few months of her life, but was also very hands-on when it came to raising her. For the next three years, they'd live in Paris, before making a leap and moving to New York, once Estella's mother was fit to return to the modeling scene. Already having made a name for himself, Callistus easily scores a job under a director of a small agency, as a manager whose main focus was recruiting and building relations.
Illusion Studios would be his next major investment, snapping off his branch and propagating alone. If it were anyone else, they would have been immediately swallowed up by the surrounding competition. But the connections Callistus had constructed over the years gave him an advantage that allowed him to quickly climb the ladder to success. Although he still had little to no knowledge about the actual modeling part, he understood how to sell. When clients followed him, in hopes of joining the newly renovated establishment alongside him, he could easily pick apart the genuine from those who were not so much. For a while, everything was going to plan, the agency's recognition growing as each day passed. It wasn't until he noticed the wavering retention of clients that Callistus realized that there was an issue, one that he couldn't figure out why, but led him to make a huge change that ruffled many feathers within the industry. Unfortunately for them, this controversial decision of his only propelled Illusion Studios further to the top.
✧ About: Ignorance
Ignorance is not bliss. The line between ignorance and unawareness can be a very thin line to tread. Most people who are aware of the truth may choose to ignore it because the alternative, living in a world of lies, can sometimes feel more comfortable. For instance, it can be easier to adhere to societal norms and beliefs rather than question them and risk being outcasted. Ignorance implies a conscious decision to not acknowledge or accept the truth, while unawareness is a lack of knowledge or understanding. In both cases, individuals are choosing to remain in a state of denial. However, this denial can have serious consequences, as it prevents personal growth and hinders progress in society.
✧ About: Estella
Although he's constantly treading on thin ice, he loves her more than anything, despite how distant she's grown, how much she says she hates him, or how embarrassing he is to be around. She's so precious to him. Callistus can't help but tease her whenever he's granted the privilege of meeting her, longing to see the smile that's long since faded. It's the only way he knows how to show his happiness of being around her: Estella claims to be too old for all the sappy father-daughter things. It's clear to him that their relationship is not what it used to be and he misses having his mini-me by his side. But what's not been as obvious is the reason why. Estella never gives an honest answer, her story and excuses always changing. Not once did he expect parenthood to be easy, but where did he go wrong? Was this just one of those teen phases she was late of growing out of? For the sake of preserving what's left of their bond, Callistus has given up pressing for an explanation, hoping she'll come around in her own time.
✧ Headcanons
✧ Callistus, whose signature flower is a classic red Rose; symbolizing passion, love, and devotion.
✧ Callistus, whose signature animal is a Lemur; symbolizing familial love, playfulness, and a spirited individual.
✧ Callistus, who doesn't need a drink to hit his dad moves on the dancefloor and makes it his job to drag everyone with him.
✧ Callistus, who (poorly) plays matchmaker for his daughter, often palming her off to suitors to dance with at events.
✧ Callistus, who has only recently learnt that his daughter is gay, but is supportive, nonetheless; it explains why she's never brought home a boyfriend.
✧ Callistus, who also has no idea of his daughter's past illegal activities (Estella has no plans on telling him either).
✧ Callistus, who refers to his daughter's darling as "ma Soleli"; it derives from "rayon de soleli" meaning "ray of sunshine".
✧ Callistus, who...
Posted: Wed, 03/07/2024 01:14 (4 Months ago)
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Callistus
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Gallery ⁺₊✧
AI Generated
"After The Golden Hour"
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Posted: Mon, 08/07/2024 12:19 (4 Months ago)
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Callistus & Estella Blake
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ Matricaria chamomilla ⁺₊✧
Chamomile | a symbol of mercy
With a confident and charismatic smile, Callistus effortlessly handles the swarm of press following him as he makes his way toward the grand entrance of the House of Illusions. As the former director of this prestigious establishment, it is his second pride and joy, surpassed only by his family. The flashing cameras eagerly capture his every move, highlighting his sharp features and youthful appearance, like a fine wine that only gets better with age. Despite being in his late forties, Callistus still exudes a youthful energy and charm, much like he did during his days as director of the highly esteemed company located in the heart of the city.
As he runs a hand through the thick, dark tangle of hair - not a single strand of silver in sight - Callistus can't help but feel a sense of nostalgia wash over him. He remembers the days when he was at the helm of the lionized company, and how he would entertain his entourage with his playful charm and wit. Even now, he continues to do so, as if time has stood still for him. However, a subtle glance at his watch reveals that he is acutely aware of the passing time. He’s late and he’s kept her waiting.
Bidding his goodbyes to the paparazzi, Callistus turns on his heel and enters the agency, the security at the doors preventing anyone from following him further. The quietness of the lobby was a soothing contrast to the chaos outside. On a typical day, it would usually be just as bustling inside; however, being Father’s Day, many had made other plans to spend their day. Despite the serene music that played in the background, he was anxious. He knew what would be coming and it didn’t take long to spot the blonde’s sullen face and glare that pierced straight through him. It wasn’t every day that Estella went out of her way to call and suggest catching up, and he’d already ruined that for her.
His smile doesn’t falter as he strolls up to her, a master of masking his more vulnerable side with positivity, unlike his daughter who - while makes an attempt - does so in a more callous manner. The air is tense and the silence is loud, something Callistus had been forced to adjust to while in her presence. Keen eyes notice the uncomfortable shift of her weight, the roll of her eyes, and the way her chest falls as if letting out a breath she’d been holding in for who-knows how long. The sorry sight alone was enough to make him feel guilty, and she hadn’t even muttered a single word to him yet.
“I’m sorry,” are the first words to leave his lips, nothing but sincere, as he gazes down at the young woman, who was at least half a foot shorter than him.
Estella stubbornly refuses to pay him any heed, her gaze locked onto the cold marble floor beneath her feet. He lets out a muted sigh, but knows all too well that his niceties alone aren’t enough to win her over - she’s always been a bit petty like that, in the recent years. Instead, Callistus tenderly takes her chin between his fingers, gently lifting her face to look at him. She has his eyes. Except they now hold a bitterness that he has never been able to pinpoint the source of.
“You’re late,” she eventually mumbles, her tone flat with annoyance, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.
“I know, I’m sorry. You know how they can be out there,” he laughs, gesturing back at the entrance, but promptly composes himself when she doesn’t find amusement in his excuse. “Forgive me, Stelle?”
Callistus opens his arms, leaving it completely up to her to accept his invitation for a hug. To his surprise, after a short-lived staredown, she gingerly steps into his arms, pressing her forehead to his chest and wrapping her arms around him. He can’t see her expression, but the stiffness in her body language remains. Nonetheless, Callistus cherishes their minute together, rubbing reassuring circles into her back. The moment is fleeting as Estella is the first to pull away, her face slightly more relaxed than before, although her frown lingered.
Tugging on the sleeves of her sweater - a common hint of her uneasiness for those observant enough - her lips part to speak, only for no words to come out. She bites her lip. Her eyes darted around the lobby, wary of a few pairs of prying eyes furtively observing the two of them. Estella spins around, suddenly, the suede ankle boots on her feet creating a dull thud with each step as she makes a beeline for the elevator, only stopping to wordlessly motion for her father to follow. Without hesitation - and no questions asked - Callistus obediently follows.
Although the ride to their destination wasn’t long, the stillness made it feel like an eternity. It was as if they were strangers, standing together in the small space. He watches her from the corner of his eye: she still won’t look at him. Usually, Callistus wouldn’t stand for such awkwardness, happy to make light conversation with just about everyone he meets; but, it was different with Estella. For her, as much as it killed him to see her like this, he’d wait for her to come around on her own terms. Perhaps he did poke and prod at her a little too much, embarrassing her in front of her colleagues - he’d endure her rebuking at the end of it all. Callistus was just grateful that she hadn’t pushed him away completely.
“Thanks for coming.”
The elevator pings and the doors slide open to reveal a space familiar to him. Isolated from the rest of the apartments belonging to the resident models and staff, the penthouse was an exclusive area with access only via the master key to be held by the Director, themselves. It acted as, both, a living space and personal office, once his, now his daughter’s. The midday sun streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows, casting an almost blinding light as it reflects off the scarcely decorated white walls. Estella steps out first.
“Make yourself at home. You know where everything is, yeah?”
Callistus can’t help but chuckle at her attempt to remain formal in his presence, watching her figure disappear into another room. He settles down on the couch in the lounge, the pristine white fabric pairing with the overall sleek minimalist style of the suite. A vase of fresh lilies sits on the kitchen counter, their vibrancy adding a splash of life to the otherwise blank canvas: just how he’d intentionally left it for her when he handed the position over to her. Some part of him had hoped Estella would have made the space her own by now. At the same time, he was never sure what to expect, when it came to his daughter. However, he took the lack of change as a sign that she had settled.
“No Ray?” he calls out to initiate conversion, his eyes sweeping around the suite’s reception.
He wasn’t sure if Estella had heard him over whatever she was rummaging through in the other room, but a blunt reply eventually came, “No, she’s busy.”
Finally reemerging, Estella holds out a small delicately wrapped box for him to take, before perching on the opposite side of the couch. There’s a glimmer in his eyes, one of awe with a hint of mischief. Callistus glances up at her to find her eyes boring into him, filled with anticipation as she waits for his reaction to the gift. Any teasing comment on the tip of his tongue - he bites back, not wanting to ruin the moment anymore for her. With precise movements, Callistus tears away at the paper, taking great care in keeping the mess minimal. He pauses when he’s met with a plain black box.
“Open it then,” she snaps, clearly becoming impatient.
At her command, Callistus quickly complies, lifting the top to uncover a pocket watch that lay snugly in the velvet interior, its golden surface glinting in the light. Mesmerized, his fingers trace the intricate designs etched into the metal, cool to the touch, each line and curve a testament to the unparalleled skill and artistry that went into its creation. His fingertips pause to linger over a star-like detail. It couldn’t be a coincidence - he believed. Stars had always been a symbol of her, since her birth, named after them, even. Estella. Étoile. It didn’t matter. In his eyes, she was always going to be his baby, regardless of how far they’d drifted.
“Well? Do you like it?
“Stelle, I already have a watch,” he lifts his wrist, his sleeve dropping ever so slightly to show off the gold-plated band on his wrist.
Estella rolls her eyes, turning away from him as she sighs in defeat.
“Yeah, well, maybe a second one will help you with your time management and, you know, not be late,” she chides back, adding on a snarky reminder.
Callistus' lips twisted into a pout, reminiscent of a sulky child. His eyes widen, pleading like a puppy. The sight of a grown man resorting to such behavior was almost comical, yet equally as absurd.
"But, ma Étoile, I've apologized for that, already. You still can't forgive me? But to answer your question: I do like it, a lot, for that matter. Thank you."
"Good, because I lost the receipt and it would have been a pain to return. It's probably somewhere in my bag, now that I'm thinking about it..."
"Woah, hey now, there's no need for that," Callistus laughs, "Seriously though, Stelle, I love it. You don't need to return anything."
Nodding silently in appreciation, Estella stands up, combing back the soft curls of her hair from her face. As she spares him a glance, Callistus takes note of the much darker roots - her natural shade - that had begun to blend with the ash-blonde color. Admittedly, he had never been too knowledgeable about fashion, relying on the expertise of his stylists when it came to dressing the models of Illusion Studios, so he wasn't sure if the look was trendy or just simply casual. He's not aware of the smirk that graces his face as he remembers the time when Estella first bleached her hair in her teens, only to brood for weeks after, when her hair turned out bright orange.
"Stop staring at me like that, it's weird," Estella huffs, narrowing her gaze at him, "Do you want a drink? I bought a bottle of that red you like."
She saunters off toward the kitchen, retrieving the pricey bottle and two glasses from a cabinet that contained various other bottles of half-empty liquors. Estella didn't typically drink wine, finding it either too dry or too fruity for her palette. But as a "borderline" (in her words) alcoholic, she'd indulge with him - it was his favorite, his go-to whenever they dined out. Alcohol was alcohol, at the end of the day, and it had become a coping agent that she depended on a little too much. She'd need it, however. Not just to put up with her father's immature antics, but to build up the courage to finally address the elephant in the room: the real reason that she'd suggested catching up.
Estella takes her time getting everything together, the wine and corkscrew in one hand, the glasses in the other. Callistus' face softens at the sight, as she approaches.
"You're spoiling me, Stelle," to which, she places everything down on the coffee table and tosses the corkscrew into his lap so that he could have the honor of opening it.
"It's not much, really, but I figured spending the day with your favorite child would be the best gift," she shrugs, flashing a mordant grin.
"You're my only child, that I know of, anyway," he says casually, Estella cringing at his suggestiveness, "But I'd love you all equally. As much as you hate me sometimes, today has shown me you have a heart in there somewhere."
"Yeah, somewhere..." she mutters to herself.
"I mean it," Callistus confirms with a much sterner yet adoring stare, "I appreciate everything you've done and I know you've had some reckless moments, but don't we all? I'm thankful to know that you're definitely my child, ma p’tite Étoile."
The atmosphere suddenly shifts and the air becomes thick with an uncomfortable silence. Estella squirms in her seat, forcing a smile that's notably affected by her father's sappiness. Sensing the tension, Callistus takes that as his queue to open the wine. There's an audible 'pop' as the cork is released and he proceeds to pour them both a small glass of the deep red liquid, before raising his to toast.
"To your favorite father?"
"To my only father, that I know of, anyway," Mocking him with her words, she picks up her own glass and tilts it to meet his, creating an airy clink as they touch, "Joyeuse fête Papa."
Hesitantly, she swirls the wine in her glass, a lithe finger circling the rim, before bringing it to her lips. The tartness causes her face to contort in distaste, and her body to shudder as she swallows. Callistus struggles to hold back his amusement as he observes her reaction, reclining back onto the couch to sip at his own drink leisurely.
"So, tell me, Stelle, how's the company been treating you so far?"
For the next few hours, they found themselves engaged in business talk - not how Estella had planned for the day to go, but it distracted her from the horrid aftertaste that coated the back of her throat, nonetheless. Nothing but praise for those that she worked with left her mouth: there was no way she was going to mention the creepy staff or the obvious issues of his prized models. She didn't want to make him feel bad - not that his ignorance would agree with her anyway - especially on Father's Day, which also had her re-thinking the whole purpose of inviting him here. It wasn't just to give him a gift or share a bottle of his favorite wine with him. She'd hoped to finally give him the consolation he often pressed for about her sudden attitude towards him.
But, by now, the bottle was almost empty and the golden rays of the sunset filtered into the space. Callistus had noticed her become increasingly quiet, spacing out mid-conversation. A rosy tint paints her skin. The alcohol had begun to take over. She shouldn't be tipsy: Estella wasn't a lightweight. She hadn't eaten yet - she'd been too anxious this morning. Staring at nothing in particular, her hands tremble as she picks at the polish on her nails. She feels nauseous.
"Stelle..?"
There's concern in his voice, yet she can't bring herself to look at him, she'd cry.
She's already crying.
"I'm sorry," are the only words she can choke out.
"For what? Stelle - breathe."
He's left utterly confused - terrified - but his arms are wrapped around her protectively within seconds as his words fail to calm her. Callistus pets her hair, hushing her gently, as she cries into his chest. His heart sinks. He can't ever recall a time he'd witnessed her in such a state, other than the day she abruptly stated her resignation from modeling. Letting her cry it out, all he can do is hold her. Estella's sobs eventually quieten. He doesn't get the chance to question her further: She'd fallen asleep in his embrace.
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Posted: Wed, 10/07/2024 21:31 (4 Months ago)
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Callistus
Picture (not-so) Perfect
✧₊⁺ What daddy doesn't know... ⁺₊✧
In the quieter corners of his mind,
A father stands, bewildered and lost,
His child, once so full of light and grace,
Now cloaked in shadows, bitter and cold.
He remembers the days of laughter and joy,
Watching as she twirled and spun,
A vision of beauty and confidence,
A star in the making, poised to shine.
But the world can be cruel and unforgiving,
And in a moment of darkness,
Her innocence was stolen, her spirit shattered,
Leaving behind a broken soul, wounded and scarred.
"I don't understand what happened to you."
He longs to reach out, to hold her close,
To mend the pieces of her fractured heart,
But she pushes him away, consumed by anger and pain,
Her once bright eyes are now dull and distant.
Yet still he stands, a pillar of strength,
Watching and waiting, holding onto hope,
That one day she may find her way back to the light,
And once again dance with elegance and joy.
For he is a father, unwavering in his love,
And though the road may be long and hard,
He will walk beside her, steadfast and true,
Guiding her through the twilight, back to herself.
What daddy doesn't know, won't hurt him: That's what Estella tells herself, anyway.
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Posted: Tue, 16/07/2024 03:22 (4 Months ago)
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Estella Blake
Genshin Impact
✧₊⁺ Character Sheet ⁺₊✧
"Oleanders have attractive flowers, they decorate nature beautifully, but they are poisonous; and a woman is an oleander;
it’s all right to watch her once in a while, but then you must walk away without touching her; if you ever try to taste her even once, you’ll head for hell"
— Mehmet Murat Ildan
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❀ Lore ❀
[ icon ]___
✧ Theme Song - info✧ Voice Claim - info
✧ Introduction
info
✧ Appearance - (ref)
info
✧ Personality
info
✧ Early Life
info
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Rarity: ★★★★★
Ascension Level: 6
Level: 90 / 90
Maximum HP: 13,450
ATK: 295
DEF: 837
Elemental Mastery: 0
Maximum Stamina: 240
Ascension Stat Bonus: Dendro DMG Bonus (28.8%)
Team Role: DPS | Weapon Type: Sword
Vision Element: Dendro | Arkhe: Pneuma | Vision Location: Left Hip
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Signature Set: Diaphanous Demoiselle
__Diaphanous: light, delicate, and translucent (especially of fabric)
__Demoiselle: a young woman
Flower of Life: Marcescent Bloom
__Marcescent: ‘withering at the stem’
__Bloom (green orchid); symbolizes love, charm, beauty
Plume of Death: Caged Resplendence
__Caged: Trapped
__Resplendence: bright, beautiful (loosely based on the resplendent quetzal)
Sands of Eon: Thwarted Hour || Ideal Stats: HP%, ATK%, Elemental Mastery
__Thwarted: to prevent someone from accomplishing something
__Hour; a measure of time
Goblet of Eonothem: Bittersweet Parfum || Ideal Stats: Dendro DMG Bonus%, HP%, ATK%
__Bittersweet: Happiness marked by emotions of suffering or regret
__Parfum: Fragrance or scent
Circlet of Logos: Crown of Entanglement || Ideal Stats: CRIT DMG%, HP%, ATK%
__Crown (of ivy); Ivy symbolizes dependency, and faithfulness
__Entanglement: to become twisted together or caught in
2 Piece Effect: HP +20%
4 Piece Effect: After using an Elemental Burst, when the character's HP decreases, their ATK will increase by 10%. This increase can occur this way a maximum of 4 times. This effect can be triggered once every 0.8s.
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A1: Nagadus Emerald Sliver (1) + Rainbow Rose (3) + Whopperflower Nectar (3)
A2: Nagadus Emerald Fragment (3) + Quelled Creeper (2) + Rainbow Rose (10) + Whopperflower Nectar (15)
A3: Nagadus Emerald Fragment (6) + Quelled Creeper (4) + Rainbow Rose (20) + Shimmering Nectar (12)
A4: Nagadus Emerald Chunk (3) + Quelled Creeper (8) + Rainbow Rose (30) + Shimmering Nectar (18)
A5: Nagadus Emerald Chunk (6) + Quelled Creeper (12) + Rainbow Rose (45) + Energy Nectar (12)
A6: Nagadus Emerald Gemstone (6) + Quelled Creeper (20) + Rainbow Rose (60) + Energy Nectar (24)
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Normal Attack: Thorny Desires
Performs up to 5 rapid strikes.
Charged Attack:
Consumes a certain amount of Stamina to unleash 2 rapid sword strikes.
Plunge Attack:
Plunges from mid-air to strike the ground below, damaging opponents along the path and dealing AoE DMG upon impact.
Elemental Skill: Poison Envy
Cool Down: 10s | Energy Generated: 1x2 (Dendro) / 1x3 (at C4)
Performs a forward slash that deals Dendro DMG, inflicting the Bleeding Heart status on enemies.
Enemies inflicted with Bleeding Heart are bonded to Estella. Every second, for 5 seconds, inflicted enemies will continuously lose HP and Estella will regenerate HP based on 50% of the DMG sapped by Bleeding Heart.
This skill can be consecutively used 2 times.
Enters CD if not cast again within a short period.
Elemental Burst: Baneful Blossom
Cool Down: 15s | Energy Required: 70 | Duration: 12s
Estella summons a Jade Garden, dealing an instance of Dendro DMG to nearby enemies. Nearby allies will gain an ATK boost equal to 10% of Estella's ATK. The appearance of the Jade Garden varies, depending on Estella's HP at the time of casting.
While in the AoE, Estella receives the following effects:
- Estella will continuously lose HP.
- Estella’s ATK increases by 20% for the duration of her burst.
- Estella's Normal Attacks become imbued with Dendro energy, which cannot be overridden by other elemental infusions.
Arkhe (Pneuma):
At certain intervals, when the Jade Garden is summoned, a Spiritbreath Thorn will descend that will pierce opponents, dealing Pneuma-aligned Dendro DMG.
1st Ascension Passive: Critical Condition
Poison Envy’s CRIT Rate is increased by 20%.
This effect is further increased by 100% when Estella's HP is lower than 50%.
Can be triggered once every 10s.
4th Ascension Passive: Pheral
Whilst in Jade Garden’s AoE, Estella gains 100 Elemental Mastery for 10 seconds.
Utility Passive: Lingering Fragrance
When Estella is in the party, your characters will not startle Crystalflies and certain other animals when getting near them.
Ideal Attack Sequence: Elemental Skill > Elemental Burst > Normal Attack
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1>2: Teachings of Justice (3) + Whopperflower Nectar (6)
2>3: Guide to Justice (2) + Shimmering Nectar (3)
3>4: Guide to Justice (4) + Shimmering Nectar (4)
4>5: Guide to Justice (6) + Shimmering Nectar (6)
5>6: Guide to Justice (9) + Shimmering Nectar (9)
6>7: Philosophies of Justice (4) + Energy Nectar (4) + Primordial Greenbloom (1)
7>8: Philosophies of Justice (6) + Energy Nectar (6) + Primordial Greenbloom (2)
8>9: Philosophies of Justice (12) + Energy Nectar (9) + Primordial Greenbloom (2)
9>10: Philosophies of Justice (16) + Energy Nectar (12) + Primordial Greenbloom (2) + Crown of Insight (1)
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Constellation Name: Nerium Indicum || Meaning: Oleander
Symbolism: A highly toxic and hardy plant; an emblem of desire and and the complexities of relationships.
C1: Scoring a CRIT with Poison Envy increases Estella’s Movement SPD by 15% for 5s.
C2: Enemies within the Jade Garden AoE will have their DEF and Dendro RES decreased by 20%.
C3: Increases the Level of Baneful Blossom by 3. The maximum upgrade level is 15.
C4: Poison Envy gains 1 additional charge. Can now be used 3 times, consecutively.
C5: Increases the Level of Poison Envy by 3. The maximum upgrade level is 15.
C6: When Estella’s HP drops below 20%, for the next 10s, all of her Elemental RES and Physical RES is increased by 200% and her CRIT Rate is increased by 100%. This can happen once every 60s.
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Signature Weapon: Silkweaver (ref)
Rarity: ★★★★★
Base ATK: 608
Energy Recharge: 55.1%
Threads of Delicacy: When the character equipping this weapon uses an Elemental Burst, increases Movement SPD by 10%, and increases ATK SPD by 10%. After casting an Elemental Burst, when enemies are hit with a Normal Attack, they will be tied with the Silk of Mori. At the end of the wielder's Attack sequence, all affected enemies will take an additional instance of DMG equal to 20~40% of ATK.
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