Forum Thread

Early on there were many issues with what foods I could have and couldn't have, milk/dairy, eggs, fish, shellfish, peanuts, and even meat and a few others. I was diagnosed with Celiac disease at the age of 7. My family still had me eat foods containing wheat/gluten despite the diagnosis and severe pain, bathroom issues, vomiting, etc. I was told "eat and get over it or go without." This didn't happen with the majority of other foods due to my severe allergic reactions. As time went on I had trouble with eating whole fruits, most vegetables, rice, and high fat foods (nuts, certain seeds, etc). It complicated things real badly. My family were already negative that I wasn't able to get food in a traditional store. Sometimes I would have to go 4-7 days without food since nobody in my family would get food for me, and the times that my family did go to the store they would only allow me to choose for only that day, while the rest of my family had freezers, pantry, and fridge full of food for themselves. Eventually I was restricted by my family on what I could choose to get. Between ages 11-12 I was living off of applesauce and baby food purees. My weight plummeted down to 55 pounds by age 12 and my family made it out to be my fault. People had started noticing (certain store employees, a school employee, and a neighbor). A visit to the doctor the annual one, she had just assumed I wasn't eating enough. For the next 8 months I was made to eat two 12oz boxes of pasta and a smoothie made from coconut milk and a large bowl of guacamole that was what my family gave me. Eventually I had got back to a normal weight but something just sat in my thoughts: Am I even worthy of food? By age 14 I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Shortly after I was in the beginning of another issue: Anorexia Nervosa. I had thoughts like that I wasn't worthy of food, and what is the point of eating when it inconvenience the people in my family. I also thought back on things I was told in the past. Being the only girl in the family I was living with was challenging. I could only have a small sized meal, no seconds while my brother was allowed 3-4 refills. I had mini sized bags of chips snatched out of my hand being told that I didn't need it while my brother was able to have about half of a family sized bag, my grandfather would make comments such as "that I will end up fat and undesirable more than I already was" and many more. An uncle who would remind me that I cost more to feed than my brother and the whole family put together and would force me to deal with foods containing gluten, corn, soy despite the digestive distress and other complications, and my dad who has three full freezers of food just for himself. I just didn't feel like eating much of anything and would eat one box of gluten free crackers a day along with a small container of hummus and juice, and would walk for long periods of time and stand for as long as I could the majority of the day. Counting calories, planning what to eat for two weeks in advance, disliking how big I thought my legs and stomach looked, started out at about 98 pounds and ended at 67 pounds. I was put into treatment due to a neighbor threatening to call child services. Most places wouldn't accept me due to my wide range of food allergies and restrictions, eventually a place did and I went through multiple levels of treatment:inpatient, residential, PHP, and IOP. I never mentioned of the situation with my family.

Currently as of now, I'm at a healthy(ish) weight of 95. My family most days are negative with my food allergies and restrictions. Most days I do try to eat at least something when the food is available. I aged out of the pediatric doctor I had back then and have a new doctor. She suspects my ongoing digestive complications could be caused by another condition called Gastroparesis that could have been triggered by the Anorexia or a different condition and she wants me to get tested, I haven't got tested yet (due to family negativity) I am able to make the choice myself because of my age but no way to get there and not a single family member will take me and I don't know how to drive, and until I am able to have the test I'm just eating the foods that cause the least amount of digestive issues.

I remember feeling different starting in Kindergarten (ages 5-6). I entered there not knowing my own name and other details (age, birthdate, address, parents name and number, etc). I also didn't know of numbers, ABC's, etc. Most of the other kids at least knew of some parts of these things. I was not taught any of this at home and I didn't get to go to preschool. I don't think teacher(s) really ask to parents if you were taught at home or had preschool so instead they had me do a bunch of testing and put that I had Intellectual Disability (they actually used the word Mental Retardation) and that I was a level of a three years old. My parents didn't mention the Autism to the teachers. I remember being treated different as well. The teacher had these pencils with the names of the people in class on them. The girls one was pink and with butterflies and the boys one blue with cars. I was the only one that didn't get one. Or the time when the teacher replaced and got everyone a new crayon box for there plastic crayon box and I didn't get one and I never was given any by my parents so when it came to coloring stuff in class all I had was a pencil. Or the time she gave out gift bags at end of school year I was the only one that didn't get one.

In the first grade (ages 6-7) There was a boy who pulled my hair and pinched me several times but his desk still stayed next to mine. Most students were able to go to the bathroom when they asked but rarely I was given a yes, so almost daily it ended happening on me instead of in a toilet. Rarely got a change of clothes and the other people in my class ended up making fun of me for it.

In the second grade (ages 7-8) I still didn't have any friends and had got made fun of a lot. I was completely left out of activities involving foods (valentines, halloween, ice cream/pizza day, birthday cupcakes). I don't think it was because of my food allergies since the few others in class that had allergies were offered an alternative or could bring one from home.

In the third grade (ages 8-9) I was made fun of for the things I liked. I was a fan of Dora the Explorer, Go, Diego, Go!, Blue's Clues, Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! and more. While the others in my class liked Hannah Montana, High School Musical, and even makeup. My teacher told me the reason I couldn't make friends was because I was strange and had immature interests.

In the fourth grade (ages 9-10) I was called a R-word N-word by my teacher 3-4 times. My adoptive parents (both white) did nothing other than tell me that my teacher was being honest and that I needed that wake-up call.

In the fifth grade (ages 10-11) in the lunchroom food was thrown at me, and juice spilled over my head a couple of different times and had to stay like that the rest of the day, and since my family only got me one school shirt and one school skirt I had no backups to bring to school.