Forum Thread

Absolomb

[rough bass intro]

Reputations made
I failed to save
The cold I seek is all I'll feel
Today I'm selling mine after all
Watch it all fade away to gray
I sold it to rule the world
If only I could rescue you
Cleaning up the mess we've made
It's not the same without your love

Do you care at all?
I don't see a difference
Is this love at all?

We stayed so close in this life at one time
Now I watch as you fade away
Behind the wall of hate inside your mind
Will we meet again?
I'll be waiting beyond the edge
Forever frozen
Now time stops again
Revelation

[guitar solo]

I've found that it's all gone
The absence within us grows
Illuminate the way we choose to flow

Do you care at all?
I don't see the difference
Is this love at all?

[violins]

I hold one last feeling of hope
Our paths will meet again
Beyond the edge
Forever frozen
Time stops now

[guitar solo]

[orchestral outro]

---

god I love this song
good memories

the end of a chapter

those spots of sunlight in your face make me miss you even more

---

I just hate it when you're trying to push some thoughts away but they keep on creeping back into your mind; lingering, halting your process of growing.

You can't change some things, or other people for that matter; you can only change yourself and adapt to the situation you're in, or move on.

I don't want to force myself into sticking with people or habits that don't further me anymore and take away from my life experience.

That might sound rude but I feel like I have to take matters into my own hands if I want to make something out of it.
Life is only that short and I'm wasting it on enough useless things already.

smol rant

(not ph related though)

pokemonth challenge

drawings here




hope I don't give up on this :'c | lists

---

comments



conclusion:

alright, this is

done

there are just some days you don't feel like drawing but you have to do it anyways for the challenge which isn't that nice
I feel like I haven't improved at all and reached my max already - the only thing that still can be improved are sai - brush settings and techniques.
May do any challenge again? Maybe even w/ something I'm not good at.
Really happy that I could finish this w/o slacking off

thoughts

Even when you're on the internet, where you are mostly some sort of representation of yourself, feelings could get hurt.
Might it be a rude comment, a honest opinion, art critique, disinterest, rejection or ungratefulness - sometimes you can't help yourself but take those things really personal.
It would be wrong to assume that everything others say is a lie, and vice versa, but keep in mind that on the Internet you are judged for the things you put on there, and not for the person you really are.
Unless you tell everybody everything about yourself you will always have a bunch of things nobody you're talking with knows about.
The "attacks" you get are directed at your projection, your online presence, and the hurting comes from another online presence.
There are real people behind these, but we may never know the reasoning behind their words and arguments. Taking everything others say/might think about you close to your heart won't further your growth as a human, rather halt it.
Maybe start asking yourself if the things you consider hurtful are in fact hurtful and not attempts at jokes or words to help you.
Maybe rethink your actions so that you can become a better person in the future -
and maybe you just have to move on and ignore the people that plain don't like you.

---

PLS LOVE ME BACK JUMIN

PLES

...ok u can stop now ur doing me a frighten

how do you see the stars from that far down

just letting some steam off //

nuzlocke run

game:
pokemon ruby ;
moe version ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ruleset:

Show hidden content

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♪ Any Pokémon that faints is considered dead, and must be put in the Pokémon Storage System permanently.

♪ The player may only catch the first Pokémon encountered in each area, and none else. Adjusting the first encounter rule to prevent the player from having to catch multiple of the same Pokémon, for the sake of variety. Generally this means that the trainer can keep fighting Pokémon in the area until one is encountered that has not been caught yet, which then immediately counts as the first encounter.

♪ The general consensus is that players must also nickname all of their Pokémon, for the sake of forming stronger emotional bonds.

♪ The general consensus is that a black out/white out is considered to be "game over", even if there are Pokémon left in the PC.

♪ Starter Pokémon is based on the player's Trainer ID number. If the last number is 1-3 the player starts with a Grass type, 4-6 is Fire type, 7-9 is Water type, 0 is the player's choice.

current team:

---

0 foreword
despite all the mons having different genders, all moemon look female; I'll name the male ones unisex names to not break my immersion lol. I'll also play as brendan b/c having may as the rival seems more canon to me. I hope I'm not shooting myself in the foot w/ choosing moemon instead of pokemon hah

trainer card: LEI | ID No.34849


I inb4 the first badge

Show hidden content

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this gets me TYNE as starter

[fight vs may]

route 101 ; PESHI

route 102 ; ♰

route 103 ; ♰

evo : to

[met WALLY and helped him catch RALTS]

route 104 ; MARI

petalburg woods ; HIRCINE

evo : to

route 116 ; RARU

evo : to

[received stone badge ]

II inb4 the second + third badge

Show hidden content

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granite cave ; ♰

[received knuckle badge ]

route 110 ; ♰

RARU ♰ ; trick house

PESHI ♰ ; MAY battle

[met WALLY and defeated him]

to

route 117 ; SIA

evo : to

[received dynamo badge ]

III inb4 fourth badge

route 112 ; TYLER

route 111 ; GEM

fiery path ; KOLA

---

[my savegame got corrupted so this has ended]

cupid carries a gun

he really does, and his bullets hit hard

---

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to-do 5/17

☐ | ☑

---

☑ name, invent and draw all n/a charas
☑ black book must-do-list
☑ new hunting sheet (after glameow)
☑ put e-books on phone (+sort)
☑ immatriculation stuff

considered done

---

username change on 5/21 ; ~ 9/19

a black minute

they say that loneliness damages a human being after longer exposure.

---

Children.
Small people just starting to experience life and all joys and pain that comes with it.
I have to side with Trump here; the perpetrators are nothing more but evil, sore losers that make everyone else suffer trying to achieve their petty goals.
Just imagine a family letting their child go after they begged for months to see their favourite artist live and now they're never coming back, just because of someones selfish, twisted and immoral delusions. It sickens me, almost as much as it saddens me.
My heart goes out to everyone involved in this act of violence.

can this be considered a shrine

why do I need a phelous shrine
idk
calming down maybe
hOW could I never find this

monuments and melodies

"my hands are trembling -
and my eyes are on fire"


I don't know what I'm supposed to feel anymore.

It's hard to tell what exactly somebody else is thinking about yourself.
To be frank it's better not to care, but if you like a certain person a lot you feel the need of knowing if the feeling is mutual;
I can be a bit blunt when it comes to love and romance and I might have taken it a step to far this time. Now that this special someone is avoiding me like the plague and seems awkward when he has to confront me I feel broken and like I messed up beyond the point of no return.

They say rain brings change, for the better or the worse
well
it's raining right now

designs (?)

Themes ;

lei
revolver ocelot
murdoc
crobat
taiga
periphery
motomi

[confuse]

what am I doing w/ my life;
important videos playlist™
it's everyday bro - with that disney channel flow
however flareon is the only fully evolved fire pokemon that can not learn solar beam



★☆★☆★☆
★I want to replay tnc but daemon tools isn't working on my setup
★lisssssst (at least charas, hannibal season 2 +3, dmc 3 and the SH comics)
★flesh out robin
★background? or this? (more jazzy kinda)

★☆★☆★☆ done !

[/confuse]

oc - month - challenge

not really a month, just a period of time

imgs here

now that I sorted out my adopts I want to dedicate some time to them by drawing them.
Each adopt I own atm gets a number assigned (random gen) and everyday I draw a number and draw the oc that was picked randomly.

this should give me the opportunity to learn certain bodytypes, produce more art of the charas I own, find my drawing style, fight boredom and maybe even sort out more adopts I'm just not able to draw.

(I feel like I forgot sb but I couldn't figure out who so I left it like that)

I want to do at least 10 days, the more the merrier. When I feel like I lost the urge to do this or run out of time I'll end it and upload the works I like to toyhou.se.

---

picks and comments

[this is over]

conclusion:
I get tired of drawing too often and to regularly, especially my own characters

crunching #s

13/Jun/2017


Game Time: 3189:43 Hours

Total interactions: 21,701,728

---

thing I have noticed
sometimes this diary is the equivalent of a notebook where the girls write 'meaningful' lyrics on the pages just for the heck if it.
I can't help genetics Ig.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well, you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

MEND THIS CARELESS THREAD, IT'S GONE ASKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW

some Mark Manson quotes

after reading some of his books (self help books, don't judge) I felt like putting some of the quotes I consider the most useful here, mostly for educational purposes (some of them are slightly re-written b/c of PG13 stuffs).

---

"Our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential, it’s spiritual. We have so much stuff and so many opportunities that we don’t even know what to give a damn about anymore."

"This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes."

"The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame."

"Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you."

"The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it."

"A true and accurate measurement of one’s self-worth is how people feel about the negative aspects of themselves."

"This is what’s so dangerous about a society that coddles itself more and more from the inevitable discomforts of life: we lose the benefits of experiencing healthy doses of pain, a loss that disconnects us from the reality of the world around us."

quare

infatuation is the worst

ow my feelings

(Time alone reveals our fatal aspect of arrogance.
In life we're not the only ones, free from the walls: I'm alive. Lost the way, the path unravels before me. Unholy day I'm letting go -
Through time these cries distort the view, hopeless misdirection. We all defy the chance to know; this world is not the one I knew. Holding tight to our beliefs, awake to what we have become.)



wouldn't it be great if you just could turn of your feelings for a while and be a member of society that doesn't base their decisions around others you fell for??
Be around others w/o feeling strangely attracted to them? Sometimes I feel like a slave to my own emotions.

Can i feel a chemical reaction?
Because i feel a hideous attraction
Could we share a poison apple
Can it be maniacal and awful?

---

shiny mudkip at chain #131
I hope I'll never hunt starters ever again

---

[loudly hums Obakesong while browsing the web]

[struggles]

Dear Lord,
please forgive me for I have sinned
I got two Shawn Mendes albums
and I actually enjoy them


pop music just conveys a completly different sentiment from the music I usually listen to

It's oddly refreshing to take a break like that, but I'll return to my roots eventually

but for now I'm a soft pop listener owo

a thing that is wanted or required

synonyms:
need, requirement, essential, necessity, want, requisite, prerequisit, wish, demand; desideratum

Sometimes I just want to put things here I'm currently thinking about - have a piece of mind, future me (Fri, 7 July)

[I think these things are called time capsules, Lei]

---

I can honestly understand why elves consider all human races to be inferior. Mer live longer than men and have existed longer than humans, they seem to adapt much quicker to their surroundings and surpass men at almost every skill (especially magic)
I wonder why humans survived and even spread further across Tamriel.
What could they do to outdo the elves in any aspect?
- - -
It's like an intuition or a feeling in the air
An intangible impression that's always everywhere
You bit into the apple, laid down your sword an shield
(Untie! A little bit dies, a little each time, the medicine smiles)
Then spun 'round like a gyre in the unified field!
(Inside, your elegant guide, an arrow in flight a million miles)
- - -
" the moment you hang yourself, while you're falling and the rope tightens, ask yourself: 'is there a god?' "

I remember feeling the opposite of falling, into that spot where we untie every knot.
Spinning past the ceiling, absolution calling: are you there or not?
- - -
" ooh just look at that large rod of yours, with its power I could reproduce infinitely!" - what the heck did I just play
- - -
you can buy everything but "love," "friendship" and "exp. points."
- - -
I should give robin a waifu
- - -
why is volgin x raikov a thing that exists
- - -
head like a steel trap, wish I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I don't just want to be a footnote in someone else's happiness
- - -
mencinitai - love
[meanshitai]
- - -
I dearly hope I never have to kill Papyrus ever again
- - -
tfw every item on your to-do list has something to do w/ romance ((((and you kinda don't wanna hear/see/read anything about it rn))))
- - -
those who colour outside of the lines define the human race - what
- - -
dO yOu alrEADy reGret yOUr majOR?
- - -
why do I love r00d characters w/ a false sense of self confidence so much they're all trash
- - -
If I put all the energy from dreaming about playing guitar for him into actually practicing the guitar I'd be pretty good by now